Would you give up your reproductive rights for love?

Page 4 of 5 [ 67 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

23 Apr 2011, 5:11 am

Janissy wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I think the thread's question can be simplified to a less controversial question:

"If you are given two choices: would you choose the infertile person that you love or a fertile person you don't love ?"
or "would you sacrifice your fertility to get a love for life?".

They're all theoretical, you know.

Theoretical, yes, but still very important to think long and hard about because marriages have ended over this. The urge can be satisfied to a great extent with an infertile person who adopts. Then you give up only your genetic heritage but not any other heritage. You still get to pass on your values and way of life. It gets to be a truly tough choice when you ponder whether you would be willing to give up having children both biological or adopted for love. There are people who think they would. They marry somebody who is Childfree By Choice (thus no adoption) but it does happen that people change their minds about that and decide years into the marriage that they do want kids. Then the marriage usually ends. When both want kids but one doing it biologically isn't an option, adoption works out fine. It's the ones where one person gives up kids in totality that there are problems.

Theoretically, those who should be afraid of this to happen later in marriage must had a lot of options.

But as for one who never had options and probably will never have , let me put it this way:

Which is better?

Living without a loving one and without children for life?

or

Living with a loving one but without children for life?

#2 is more appealing to me, to be honest.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 23 Apr 2011, 8:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Moog
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

23 Apr 2011, 5:21 am

Yes, definitely. I don't want kids anyhoo

_________________
Not currently a moderator

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

23 Apr 2011, 5:37 am

How bout a 3rd option of having a partner who's a lot younger than you in some ways. Then you could have a partner & be kind of like a parent.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

23 Apr 2011, 8:41 am

:eew:

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

23 Apr 2011, 8:48 am

^:lol: my reaction exactly.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

23 Apr 2011, 1:17 pm

It's not uncommon for NTs in relationships with Aspies to be kind of like parents at times & it works for some

Sirius
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
Location: Fresno, CA

23 Apr 2011, 10:07 pm

Yes, I have had a vasectomy at the age of 20 in 1990 because I knew I wasn't fatherly material. So I have given up my paternal rights because I knew my DNA was not optimal for the Human Race and I could not handle the stress of raising a child. I wonder how many other Aspies have had Vasectomies before having children?

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

23 Apr 2011, 10:27 pm

Sirius wrote:

I know this is a little off topic but I thought people needed to already have kids in order to get stuff like that done. I know women cant get their tubes tied unless they already have kids

Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

24 Apr 2011, 12:18 am

I don't want children anyway.

_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I

emuman100
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Feb 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 555

24 Apr 2011, 12:22 am

Sirius wrote:

Just because your DNA makes you Aspie doesn't mean it makes you defective, or your children defective if you had any.

_________________
EOF

wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

24 Apr 2011, 6:54 am

Sirius wrote:

No, actually, you didn't give up your paternity rights. Paternity Rights only exist when there is paternity, which must involve the existence of a child. You did not give up your reproductive rights, either, since you made a decision of what to do with your body regarding reproduction on your own. You made your choice for yourself without anyone's interference or dictate. I am surprised that any doctor would give you a vasectomy at such a young age. Normally they refuse patients so young, especially in the 90's when there was less acceptance for childfree choices and less confidence in reversals.

Vasectomies are reversible. It's quite possible there have been people, including Aspies, who have reversed a vasectomy to have [more] children. There's simply too many people in the world to discount the possibility. That being said, your inability to handle raising a child does not mean your DNA is not suitable. Even if you loath your diagnosis, not every Aspie has a child with AS.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

24 Apr 2011, 6:59 am

I am liking children lately, but if there was no third option, then I would take the second.

Of course, all this thread is fictional, none of this will happen.

LadyGray
Blue Jay

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 80

24 Apr 2011, 5:27 pm

I'm already unable to reproduce.
It's worth it in theory. However, having a tiny but persistent voice of biological urges clamouring inside your head for pregnancy and children and motherhood when you'll never be capable of giving birth really sucks.

The damn thing just never shuts up.
Even though I don't want children, I would cheerfully do terrible things to gain the capability of having them.

_________________
Female, undiagnosed, 34/50 on the test 80 percent of aspies get 32 or more on, NT score 54/200, Aspie score 164/200.

rbdl79
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

24 Apr 2011, 7:17 pm

I'm NT in love with an Aspie. He's 10 years younger and wants kids. I'm close to menopause and don't know if it's possible for me to have more kids.

wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

25 Apr 2011, 6:25 am

LadyGray wrote:

Even though I don't want children, I would cheerfully do terrible things to gain the capability of having them.

When that choice has been taken from you, it can mess with your head like that.

paladin
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 8 Aug 2006
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 64
Location: Philadelphia PA

25 Apr 2011, 6:30 am

This is a reply to the original poster. In a heartbeat! I am so desperate for true love, that I would toss in a kidney in addition to my reproductive rights!

Page 4 of 5 [ 67 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Jump to:

Would you give up your reproductive rights for love? Post Reply New Topic

Would you give up your reproductive rights for love?