Do aspies attract each other?

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I tend to be attracted to "awkward" girls, for lack of a better descriptor. I don't care what their diagnosis, but girls who can share the experience of finding social interaction difficult (or tedious) are appealing. Most "normal" girls seem to place a high emphasis on being social, so I struggle to meet that need as well as the need to do so for her friends and family. It also helps to be with someone who can understand that you are different, and not judge you for being that way, or try to change you, or read into things wrongly. Much like I assume NT couples can read each other, two people with similar frustrations and expectations can better relate to each other. It's the basis of most "support groups," and what are relationships, but mini support groups we establish in order to find other people we can relate with. Relating is the root of the very word.

Most of my relationships have been with "normal" girls, though, since there are so few aspie women. I've dated one, but the timing apparently was wrong, as she was mired in a lot of other issues.

I'm beginning to suspect that I'll never find a girl I can completely relate to, as I've never met one yet. It frustrates me, because I'm sure there are dozens of girls out there that would be perfect for me, but I'll probably never meet them.

I like some very social people though. I think that there are people who serve as good bridges, either between AS and NAS people, or even just between AS's.

My wife and I are both borderline aspies, and it has worked amazingly well for us. Opposites may or may not attract, but similarity in interests and outlook go a huge way towards making things work in the long run. I wonder how many AS-NT relationships break down over things like being honestly reclusive vs. being superficially social? It drove me nuts when my ex would drag me off to social functions with people I couldn't relate to, just... because. To say that I prefer being with someone who understands that and is perfectly content with it would be an understatement. Being able to sit at our keyboards and write a several thousand line program together is also great.

We have a lot in common in terms of experiences, too -- being the isolated dweeb through most of our school years, and all that stuff.

Sure, we have no social life (outside of the Internet), and our kid, not surprisingly, has a perfectly fine dose of AS himself. But we're all really happy.

Geek,

I think that's great. My husband, while NT is very analytical, intellectual and logical. He has his own interests and shares some of mine. We'll sit for hours in silence and read. We'll talk about our interests and get all excited. He knows how to talk to me and deal with me because it's always from an analytical, logical place so he never overloads me and calms me if something else overloads me. He takes care of handling all the outside world stuff so I can relax. It's almost like the best of both worlds. He just enough like me that we enjoy things and he is NT enough to explain all their bizarre behavior to me and warn me about what people really mean. I haven't noticed him being Aspie at all, but I think his type of NT personality works well with Aspie.

It's so cool that you two found each other and you are happy.

Zanne

I think AS/AS attraction is one of those things that is determined on a case-by-case basis.

Tim

My preference for other Aspies is because I feel that Aspies are more likely to have the same interests as me.

Tim

I'd say it depends greatly on what the person is like, not whether or not they have asperger's. But in that respect, I believe it's easier for aspies to get along in a relationship than an NT and an aspie because an aspie is more likely to be understanding of quirks, and is generally less materialistic. I've dated a number of NTs who had problems with me due to my sense of humor and dress sense, and also because of how blunt I tend to be. Dating an aspie hasn't presented any of the same problems.

My husband has some aspie traits, and I have all of 'em! He gets frustrated with me sometimes because of it but he loves me...the things that attracted me to him was finally finding someone similiar to me.

I think i would really like to date an aspie to see what it is like...

It'd certainly be nice if we had little aspie-detectors so we could easily identify fellow aspies.
Whether I'd date them, however, depends entirely upon the person.

I'm attracted to an aspie.

I saw this again and started thinking about my best friend. She and I became friends I'm sure because we're both somewhere on the spectrum and we've been friends for 28 years. We have very similar interests and when it's good, it's very very good. When it's bad, it is a complete blowup. She stayed with me once for six months and I swore we would kill each other. She is a more socially aspiring aspie (artists and such and not that she's successful but she's always trying), so she would invite them to my house without even telling me. I wanted to move out by the time it was over and in fact when my husband got there, I made him move 30 miles South so those people couldn't just drop by. I was completely traumatized by it. Thankfully, we survived it and we're still friends. If that's anything to go by, my NT is the right one for me. I can't think of a time when he's stressed me out that badly.

But is it possible for Aspies to attract bacause they're the only ones who can understand eachother?

_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric

Hhmmm, I guess it works both ways then.

_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric

I would...I don't like "normal" girls-I would like her to be "strange" though that's not a good word...you all know what I ean_I would love to date a girl with AS itd be neat and she'd understand my blinking