Anyone ever wonder why

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hmmm....not to enter into a pity party competition, but that is considerably better than MY last ten years, haha. I mentioned in another thread that, until very recently, my ten years had produced about 4 to 5 encounters with women that might have led some where.

And yet somehow, I'm not bitter. I still don't understand why I'm not bitter, lol. I guess it's because I simply enjoy the company of women, and don't expect much more than that??

I can understand that, i enjoy the company of any woman that will give me the time of day.

Well you have only counted the ones that "might have lead somewhere", whereas I went out of my way to count ALL encounters, including them just saying "hi".

Skank is an insult. It is used to indicate disrespect.

If you seriously don't disrespect them, then don't insult them.


'Calling it how you see it' is sometimes used as an excuse to be mean.


'Prostitute' means the same without the nastiness.

The thing to keep in mind is that he never called them "skank" to their face. Nor has he used that word in "real life" with anyone else. He only used this word in this post.

you said you don't want to date Indian women anyway, so most of what you listed after 2009 (?) doesn't seem applicable. nonetheless, you *have* had women talk to you so you are making it out to be a lot worse than it is... you even had a girlfriend recently so clearly women are not ignoring you. what's the difference if sometimes you say hello first?

i didn't actually say you are ignoring anyone, only that perhaps the women you desire to speak to are not the ones who are talking to you. which is pretty much what you said in your list... you gave lots of reasons why those women were no good to talk to anyways.


if lack of small talk is really the problem, then why are some people here complaining about women like it is their fault?

I can admit that calling someone a skank to their face is mean and insulting and i wouldn't do it. on the other hand i have already mentioned that the language is not important, its the point i am trying to get across.

The reason I listed these women as well is because I was trying to count ALL the women who approached me as opposed to just the ones I am interested in. After all, in your previous response you said that probably I "do" get approached, but these women happened not to be the ones I am interested in. So thats why, in my response, I have shown you that EVEN IF I count the ones I am not interested in, I will still get an amaizingly small number.



I only had 30 women per 10 years, which is only 3 women per year. This is very little. Especially since I am listing ALL of the woman who talked to me (as opposed to just the ones who are interested in something more), this pretty much shows that vast majority of women ignore me altogether ... to the point that only THREE PER YEAR even acknowledge my presence.



I found the girlfriend through the dating site. Since the topic of this post is "women approaching men/aspies IN PUBLIC", dating sites don't count.



The difference is that I don't have skills of approaching women and saying hello first. So this pretty much prevents me from talking to them altogether.



What you seem to overlook is that the TOTAL number of items on this list is VERY SMALL. Namely, 30 items per 10 years, which is 3 girls per year. Now, an average NT guy is probably being approached by few girls PER DAY. So if you take a really nerdy guy who doesn't do so well he will be approached by, say, 1 girl a day. But still, there are 360 days a year, so within the 10 year period he would have three THOUSAND girls approaching him. Yet, in my case, I was unable to come up with even a hundrid girls, let alone three thousand; the best I could come up with is only 30 items. This is very little.




Because not being able to do small talk is not my fault; if I knew how to do it I totally would. So I don't like being judged for what I can't help.

Before I leave this thread, I just have to ask...

What are you'll doing to improve yourselves? Specifically, I mean BillyJoe and Roman. I mean, I get the sense that you keep approaching the issue the same way every time, and expect a different outcome?

Yeah, I know: "Just be yourself". But that only goes so far. If you wanted to be an astrophysicist, but lived by the mantra 'be yourself', you'd be stuck with Calc 101 as your only training.

For example, my next goal in self-improvement is to develop a sense of style. I never really cared about style...ever. Never saw the point. But now I see style as a way to communicate to others. It doesn't have to be superficial either. Wear t-shirts like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory communicates that you're a geek guy to geek girls. That's just one example. So yeah. Self-improvement is actionable. Generalized complaining about women, not very helpful to you.

If someone with AS has to do all the work it's probably because they are giving off some non-verbal vibe that is putting other people off.

hallelujah. thank you for this post (and others in the thread).

You are right, this is exactly what happens in my case. But this is precisely what is unfair. Non verbal vibes is something I can't help so I don't like being judged for them.

No I didn't do the things you suggested.

But what I DID do was devote my life to physics. I did double major in math and physics as an undergrad and then I went on to get ph.d. in Physics and now I am doing a postdoc. So from my point of view the attitude towards studies and work ethnics is far more important than what kind of shirt I wear. Yet, NT-s (both men and women) seem to think the opposite, which is why I feel they are shallow.

Well, that's what it sounded like to me. Women aren't obligated to talk to every man they pass, neither are they afraid of every man they see. If they don't talk to you, move on to another one and try conversing with her. :/

he was talking about self-improvement for the purposes of dating. it is possible to be at the top of the field in physics and still wear a nice shirt.

I am not refusing to do it. I am just saying there is bound to be more stuff like that that I overlook. And it is unfair that when girls decide whom to date, they judge a person based by the clothes and not based on what htey do with their life. Its like in their mind the fact that I don't have "cool" clothing makes me so bad that nothing (including physics career) can "make up" for it. And this is what I find to be unfair.