The pursuer and non-persuer

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Granted. That's why I qualified it reasonably - it can't be to unambiguous for me!

Sometimes it's an assumption based on the absence of a red light. If your conversation is beginning to look like you're going to ask her out, for example, a woman will usually sneak the word "boyfriend" in if she's not interested.

I have reasons not to pursue. If you pursue, you make yourself vulnerable, and can be a prey of others. The woman may play this game, without being really interested. I cannot see the difference between what is real and what is not. If she is interested, she has to spell it out for me, either for sex or for a relationship.

If a woman is pursuing me, I don't know or see that she is actually doing that. She could also be friendly and like me, without being interested. That is the same with flirting. I flirt when I like someone. If a woman flirts with another man, she is interested in him. If a woman flirts with me, she is just flirting, because she likes that. In most of the cases she is not necessarily interested.

Therefore, I think there is not such a thing as a green light from anything else than a traffic light.

I did. I just wasn't feeling very humorous at the time. Sorry.

Who said anything about most women pursuing? Just most women that have voted in this poll are pursuers. There's a big difference.

Some can, I'm sure. It, by no means, represents the majority of female pursuers, though.

female pursuer. i was willing to date people who pursued me, but i was never as interested in them as in the men i pursued of my own volition.

pursuing is sometimes less blatant than a person might imagine. sometimes it's stuff like... simply being at the right place at the right time, or asking around about someone and making sure they know, or hinting massively about my interest, etc. and then as i suspected he was signalling interest back at me, i'd take a leap. i was often wrong about the signals and got rejected a lot.

there was one time where i would say that my partner and i mutually pursued each other. it was the most amazing situation... like playing a complicated chess game with an exactly equal partner, or doing an elaborately choreographed dance together.

This describes me well, except I've only been wrong once.

I've pursued more than once, but I've been wrong a lot. And some men might have been interested but were horrified by my pursuit (they thought only men should be assertive like that). Their loss!

Damn straight!

FTR, I've pursued every single one of my past partners.

I refuse to officially recognize any gender distinctions in this regard, I'd be thrilled if a woman hit on me (assuming I'm available and attracted to her of course)

I've been told this as well. Kind of pissed me off. Ha. Their loss indeed.

I heard that men like to pursue women at red light districts. ;D

My days of pursuit are over.

I'm married.

I think I'm just special lucky in that way...

i've had men express surprise that a woman would be as forward i am, but i figure that a man who is bothered is someone who is not suited to an aggressive/assertive woman like me. seems like most men find it flattering, even if they are not interested.

i always figure it's worth the risk because opportunities can be so fleeting. and expressing interest kind of makes a person think of me in a different way... sometimes it can spark something.

the rejection doesn't sting too badly because it's not an all-or-nothing deal - we are usually already friends or acquaintances first (except when i used to go on dating sites, but i couldn't be arsed to care about rejection on there... it's not like i'd have to face the person again). so after a brief period of awkwardness we can hopefully go back to normal.

Haha, the only reason I have never responded to a woman "pursuing" me is because I never noticed!