14 Sep 2011, 6:04 pm
Joker
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
14 Sep 2011, 6:42 pm
14 Sep 2011, 6:47 pm
I hope I find someone when I start looking 
14 Sep 2011, 8:12 pm
Speak for yourself
My problem is not necessarily the virginity, it's the fact that I'm a raging horndog like 95% of the time
. My mind usually drifts to a lot of things at like 100mph, but all that goes out the window, walking down the street, I see the sexiest brown-skinned girl with a perfect booty and long hair, I can't help it, it's hard.........help me man........help me!
I can't wait to do it, I know it's gonna be fun
14 Sep 2011, 8:35 pm
15 Sep 2011, 6:56 am
ersonally I've found there is some truth in this statement, but you have to genuninely believe it. Like, you can't just go, ok I'm just going to stop prowling but be subconcsiously checking out every guy that talks to you, you have to be completely closed to a relationship
I usually explain this to younger female friends in a different way. I tell them to stop thinking of all guys as 'date fodder' because if you are conciously trying to impress you will behave differently. If you talk to people of the opposite gender like you would your own friends, just being yourself, you are far more likely to get some interest.
_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/
the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal
15 Sep 2011, 7:08 am
15 Sep 2011, 7:18 am
my friends universally belong to the "stop looking" crowd, because they have *all* met their partners/husbands/wives in weird daily situations while they were not looking. it's hard to talk some "correlation does not equal causation" sense into NTs though
I'd suspect that if there's something inherently weird about you it's more obvious to a stranger than it is to people who know you well; hence their "stop looking" is bad advice if you want to succeed - they simply can't see your flaws clearly. you can have your go at the "numbers game" though and that's how this tactic could ever work for us.
I've gotten this advice too from friends to ill-effect. But I believe the issue for me often lies in my Aspie-related blindness to the signals that someone is interested. When you think about the process logically, even when single NTs aren't 'looking' for a relationship, there will be signals passed back and forth indicating interest to proceed to a more intimate level. NTs will pick up on these signals and advance the relationship, seemingly by 'not looking for it'. Those with AS miss these signals, I think.
15 Sep 2011, 7:27 am
15 Sep 2011, 7:42 am
techstepgenr8tion
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Age: 46
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15 Sep 2011, 7:49 am
hartzofspace
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Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
15 Sep 2011, 12:11 pm
I was completely closed to a relationship for many years, and when I say closed, I mean closed! I got irritated when guys would try to approach me, and had absolutely no desire for companionship. I think that when I met my current guy, I was open more to friendships than intimate relationships.
This is very true. Because I was only seeking friends, the intensity was not there and people found me approachable.
_________________
http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/
the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal[/quote]
15 Sep 2011, 2:12 pm
my friends universally belong to the "stop looking" crowd, because they have *all* met their partners/husbands/wives in weird daily situations while they were not looking. it's hard to talk some "correlation does not equal causation" sense into NTs though
I'd suspect that if there's something inherently weird about you it's more obvious to a stranger than it is to people who know you well; hence their "stop looking" is bad advice if you want to succeed - they simply can't see your flaws clearly. you can have your go at the "numbers game" though and that's how this tactic could ever work for us.
I've gotten this advice too from friends to ill-effect. But I believe the issue for me often lies in my Aspie-related blindness to the signals that someone is interested. When you think about the process logically, even when single NTs aren't 'looking' for a relationship, there will be signals passed back and forth indicating interest to proceed to a more intimate level. NTs will pick up on these signals and advance the relationship, seemingly by 'not looking for it'. Those with AS miss these signals, I think.
yeah, that's definitely correct. I could make a whole sitcom based on my "missing/misinterpreting the signals" only
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
15 Sep 2011, 2:21 pm
15 Sep 2011, 2:46 pm
My problem is that there are no signals at all.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
15 Sep 2011, 2:48 pm
My problem is that there are no signals at all.
ha-ha funny =(.
