Can we just get rid of this forum?
spongy
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My point exactly.
This board is quite active(wether some members like it or not) and getting rid of an active board would be senseless.
Just so you have an idea the mod at a spanish board for as I frequently go to recently decided to get rid of its L&D section.
Apparently he recently broke up with his girlfriend and he had been complaining about the "is this guy that mistreats me an aspie?" threads for a while.
What happened? members complained about it because it was a section that had use and the mod refuse to take any suggestions on this issue, a member has created her own board about L&D and several of its members are now avoiding the original board.
If you have an issue with L&D look for/create a message board that doesnt have it, its the only suggestion that actually makes sense instead of trying to get everyone else to stop talking about something because it seems pointless to you.
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spongy had a very good points, above. Chronos offers another perspective, and she is actually quite helpful to some people even when they are nasty back at her.
let me break down one other point. no group of people, either men OR women OR jewish people OR african american people OR whatever, should have threads dedicated to criticising them as a group. neither all women nor all men nor any other group are evil/horrible/stupid/etc. so there is no need to create threads that criticise them like that (as you have suggestedin the bolded text above that men should have the right to do without any repercussions).
if a member has an issue with a specific man or woman (or even several men or women), then it is perfectly acceptable and reasonable to create a thread about their experiences, but criticising an entire gender is not only inaccurate but also against the rules.
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In my opinion, there should be a defense for every offense no matter how valid. If statements go uncontested, how will anyone ever learn? Sometimes the defense or offense has major holes in it and the counter-point is easily discarded but I still think it serves a purpose in making the other side examine the other point or their own.
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Nothing is absolute.
Well I think the men here who have legitimate issues with women should be allowed to say something and not be ridiculed for it. Another thing that amazes me is how wimpy some of the guys are here who put women on pedestals and always defend them. That's why when a guy here makes a thread saying he can't get a woman because of gender roles and difficult pre-requisites required both guys and girls will start ganging up and using ad hominem attacks. What I'd like to say to those guys is that you're wasting your time defending these women because really, it's not like they are going to go out with you or have a real life relationship with you. There's plenty of "normal", rich, bad boys for that. I come from another forum completely unrelated to aspergers, someone just pointed this place out to me once, so I thought I'd get some feedback on this.
Everyone is allowed to say whatever they want unless they are deliberately attacking someone. However, they shouldn't expect to be able to say something without recieving any feedback (aka criticism). Like I said above, feedback is good and can cause people to rethink things. Person with the original point (in this case complaints about women) should also be able to back up their point in the face of such criticism. That's how I like to communicate anyway. If you only want to talk to people who agree with you, you'll end up with a pretty narrow perspective on life, imo. You should feel free to voice your complaints. But you have to realize that some people are going to disagree with you. That's ok. Everyone has their own perspective.
I don't think anyone has been ridiculed as this means soemone is mocking and insulting them. If this has happened, the mods need to be notified.
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spongy
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Nobody is ridiculing anyone. She is just providing her side of the story.
Ridiculing a member is against the rules and you are more than welcome to report her to a mod(providing a link) when you see her riidiculing anyone.
I dont allways defend women, I just think that most males here have a tendency to blame all their issues on the opposite sex instead of working on themselves.
As soon as I see a female doing the same thing I defend males because I dont see any benefit from blaming your issues on the opposite gender.
I havent met anyone defending girls online and then expecting to go out with them but if you say it happens I wont question you. I´ll however explain that Im just trying to make up for the bad image some male members are giving on this forum and as Ive said several times I promise I´ll stop as soon as male members here stop blaming all their issues on females.
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Last edited by spongy on 28 Oct 2011, 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
Last edited by MathGirl on 28 Oct 2011, 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
vilin66, you are right and this is the reason why being dateless can often snowball and self-perpetuate.
I think you will recieve less criticsm if you qualify your statements using words like "many" or "most." It is factual that many women (and men) go by this assumption that a dateless person must be single for a reason. I don't think anyone can debate that. What they CAN debate is that this is true for all people. I personally know of several spectrum males that got their very first girlfriends in their 20's. So there are some girls who are willing to look past that. True, it may be too much to hope for and you're probably better off assuming it won't happen.. but that doesn't mean it can't.
I just feel that some members here (myself included) object to blanket statements that are not qualified properly.
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Non-NT something. Married to a diagnosed aspie.
Nothing is absolute.
Well if it generalizes to the the women here, why do they get ticked by it? If a guy says women care about money and a girl who "doesn't" reads it and makes it her lifes work to beat the guy for it, what's the point? if it doesn't apply, why get offended? The only reason I can think of is that.......well, maybe it does apply to them. Otherwise why would they get offended? This is just the typical type of behavior I've seen on here. The women are allowed to say things about men, but when the men want to say things about women, suddenly all the "that's sexist" "you're a misogynist woman hater" cards come out. Seems like a double standard thing.
let's break it down.
"issues with women" are issues with individual women, or with the men themselves, as women (and men) do not by default have issues as a whole. they are free to address those issues on the forum. no problem there!
ok, you can feel however you want about that. if you were referring to specific members it would be a personal attack, but since you aren't... it's just a baseless generalisation, and not even specific enough to warrant a warning. you are in fact very close to breaking the rules with this statement, but not quite. it's a bit silly to randomly attack nobody in particular, but whatever floats your boat.
if you don't like how the men here behave, then move along.... nothing to see here...
well, not too many people get ganged up on for something that empty, but feel free to link actual examples for us to peruse. basically, you're saying here that men should be able to say whatever they want in spite of the rules of the forum and in spite of who gets hurt by it.
we don't play like that around here. people can either play by the rules or get reminded/warned/banned (but not before they annoy a lot of people who will speak up). simple as.
men and women do date (and hook up) on this forum. both aspies and NTs.
i see, so it isn't enough to come to WrongPlanet for the express purpose of complaining (about a forum that you don't have any stake in or that you most likely don't even care about), but you need to also throw in the sexist implication that women only date rich bad boys.
so that pretty much covers every point. have anything else empty and baseless you want to add?
p.s. you seem to know an awful lot for someone who is "new" to WrongPlanet and you seem to care an awful lot about a forum that doesn't concern you in the slightest. do you have any reason to be here besides stirring up trouble?
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Last edited by hyperlexian on 28 Oct 2011, 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
actually, no - many other transgressions are included in the WrongPlanet Rules (quoted the whole thing as there are spots all over the place that cover the topic under discussion):
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt12459.html
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also keep in mind the reminder at the top of the Love & Dating forum:
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1. Posting offensive language, comments, video, or images.
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it is not acceptable to make generalisations about men or women on the forum, and actions can be taken by the moderators when necessary to combat sexism.
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hyperlexian, the numbers 1 and 2 (aside from the fetish/excretory function parts) of the rules you quoted is just a more indepth way of saying "deliberately attacking someone" - groups of people (eg genders, race, or sexual orientation) still count as "someone" to me. Or at least that was my intended meaning. I didn't address 3 as I don't think it applies in this case.
My point is, he can express himself he should just qualify his statements instead of directing them at all women.
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spongy
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Im aware of all this things, considering Im dateless and not able to get someone in my life Ive had to hear them a few times.
You are more than free to discuss things with anyone when they have a different view on things but you cant say that anyoen that disagrees with you is attacking you. If you believe that everyone that disagrees with you is attacking you this place is not suitable for you. If you however wish to discuss this just-world fallacy with the rest of the board/discuss this topic with chronos like any rational person would be my guest
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