Aspie males are notorious for putting themselves down.

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DetestableInsect
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12 Dec 2011, 8:26 pm

PTSmorrow wrote:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systems_theory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systems_psychology

By the way, thanks for the links I asked for.

This stuff goes way over my head truthfully, but I'll bookmark the wiki pages and try re-reading the articles a few times.

MXH
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12 Dec 2011, 8:55 pm

blueroses wrote:

MXH wrote:

I dont think ive put myself down. Others seem to have done quite a damn good job at it.

Yeah, me too. Throughout my life, from pretty early on, the pattern has been that anyone who gets close to me hurts me and then leaves. That sends a pretty strong message after a while and it's hard not to give into it and start getting self-destructive. But, really, when the world is kicking you around is when you most need to learn to love yourself and understand that you are worth something, independent of whatever other messages you're hearing. I'm still very much a work-in-progress in this regard, but there is a big part of me that still believes it's possible to figure out.

i dont think so about myself. Its improbable that thousands of people from many different places and many different viewpoints would all agree on my worthlessness

SadAspie112
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12 Dec 2011, 9:33 pm

Many Aspies fail to launch and move out from their parents home. They find it hard to live and function independently on their own. People in their 20s, 30s and even in their 40s may still live at home with their parents. Aspies are typically late developers and they are too attached to their parents and often fail to launch.

Aspies are too scared to have their security of their mothers apron strings being cut. Aspies are usually dependent and they need their security blanket offered by their parent(s). I believe it is far easier for female Aspies to find a life partner and females are not expected to be as independent, strong and confident as males. Males often have a lot more pressure in life to perform than females.

Aspies find it hard to grow up and mature and live indepoendepent lives due to their emotional immaturity/insecurity and financial dependence upon others due to employment issues. Aspies find it hard to make friends and many Aspie males may not find a life partner who understands and accepts them.

lightening020
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12 Dec 2011, 10:34 pm

SadAspie112 wrote:

Do you still live at home? I live on my own. Its not like i have any $ saved, i a basically screwed on paycheck to paycheck. I have my own car i drive, i have a job.

As I have said earlier, those things dont give me any confidence at all. They really don't. Not one drop.

shrox
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12 Dec 2011, 10:55 pm

I would say I am modest.

SadAspie112
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12 Dec 2011, 11:05 pm

I am an Aspie who has suffered from social phobia, extreme social anxiety, depression and avoidance personality disorder. I know better than most that life can be one big mess without friends and a steady job. I’ve always loved doing something productive rather than being stuck at home with the four walls caving in on me. I have too much time on my hands to think and I am extremely socially isolated and fear being rejected by people.

Physical activity whether it be jogging, walking, cycling, gardening, etc helps to a certain extent keep me going.

bucephalus
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12 Dec 2011, 11:24 pm

I am an Aspie that has suffered from severe laziness, extreme social networking and avoidance of housework disorder. I know better than most, life can be one big party with friends and a steady job. I’ve always hated doing something productive rather than being stuck at home with the four walls caving in on me. I have too little time on my hands to think and I am extremely socially stimulated and fear being inconvenienced by people.

Physical activity whether it be itching, sleeping, eating, sleeping, etc helps to a certain extent keep me going.

whoops :oops:

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Burnbridge
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12 Dec 2011, 11:37 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:

This means I can say that 2+2 does not equal 4 in the base 10 number system.

I'm glad you were aspie precise enough to add "in the base number 10 system," cause I almost went boolean all over that post. As it is, I'll just "name drop" it and commend you.

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WhiteWidow
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12 Dec 2011, 11:44 pm

NoMrCollins wrote:

I don’t know how old you are SadAspie, but I am in my 40s and have never had a girlfriend. I know that my lack of self-confidence really hurts me, I really just don’t understand what I am doing. All the women that I have dated have told me that there is nothing wrong with me, that I am a great guy, they just have some big problem in their life that prevents them from dating me. How can I learn what to do if I don’t understand what I am doing wrong? The more I fail, the worse my confidence gets.

All everyone tells me is to just go out and try over and over until I figure it out. You don’t gain confidence by trying and failing over and over again. You gain confidence by trying and succeeding. Once you start that downward spiral of failure you need help to get out of it.

Asp-Z, I know I can be confident and fun, once I get to know a person. But, it has been impossible for me to not get nervous and lose my confidence when meeting women, especially one that I am interested in. And there is no way to play any mind games with myself so as to trick my mind into not being nervous. The only way I can get over it is to spend time with her (who ever that may be), but how can you do that if they run away before you can get to know them?

That is why I agree with SadAspie, unless I can figure out how to gain confidence without getting to know someone, I will never be able to find anyone.

I feel like when NT's say this, they mean that you actually get a couple people to hang out with you for a bit but they might not work out. Getting someone to hang out with me is a huge enough task in itself

lightening020
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13 Dec 2011, 7:39 pm

There are alot of instance growing up and school and such that weren't conducive to my self-esteem/confidence.

so it really isn't that much of a coincidence

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