What about polyamory

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And we have less chances of finding someone and just the same chances of finding someone good.

Im not denying that, just saying that online dating isnt ideal for either sex.

I don't think, spony. It's all related, cause and effect.

In theory, the more you get sexual partners (not the abusing kind) in your life the more comfortable/confident/less frustrated you'd become around the opposite sex and also the higher probability that something meaningful would (like happened to hyperlexian). So of course it should help.

Also, just a glance on women's forum vs L&D forum, and you'd notice, anecdotally at least, that far less women on WP struggle in having partners than men. And I think this is one of the reasons why.

But let's not dwell on this again.

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wow, way to miss the point, Boo. i was using ''dating'' as a euphemism. i was actually referring to getting a random sex partner. and i have NEVER denied that women have an easier time getting random sex. but so what? how many women on the board have said that they even want that instead of an actual relationship? so it's easy for all 3 or so women who were seeking that? it's so completely irrelevant in the context of actual DATING <---not a euphemism

{raises hand} Can *probably* get random sex whenever I want.

Can also probably get a stranger to wipe his ass, using my hair.

The resulting feelings are the same.

Does that answer ANY questions for you who still think it's so easy?

BTW, I have worked the online dating thing and I went on tons of dates and not a single one panned out. Not a single one. And I had to put up with a lot of crap and drama and second-guessing, too, which is ultimately WHY I QUIT.

It's not that I don't want to be partnered, I simply do not know how to do it in a way that is palatable to me. I don't come on here routinely and whine about it, though, some things are just hard truths.

Also, go back and read the women's forum again. I'm horrified by the regular, routine abuse I read about there. It's not enough to be partnered when you're vulnerable, you also have to find a situation that you can leave if it turns manipulative or abusive, and many women on that forum do not have that option.

P.S. I have no real opinions on polyamory, other than it's not for me.

i should add that i've seen several women on WP who have said that they have utterly failed at getting random sex too. so i should clarify that getting laid isn't easier for ALL women, but in general in a many cases it is easier for a woman to get random sex than a man.

It's not really my thing to be honest.

I'd end up getting confused in between all the relationships.

I think what he is saying is that it is generally easier for a woman to get sex or dates, which is true. But that doesnt mean that either are with someone worthwhile

I agree, generally, MXH, but then I do the math (occupational hazard ). Who is it that these women are dating and having sex with? Is there one subset of men who are doing all the dating and bedding? I cannot implicitly believe that this is so, player culture or no. And if it is true, what are these men doing differently than the rest of the men who go without? And are we all such creatures of our animal nature that these men fool the women over and over and over again? I just don't buy it.

There is very much truth in this. The women would effectively pick out those they like from the ones messaging them. But theres always the ones that are left behind. And seeing the vast difference in ammounts of people of each gender and their activity its more likely for there to be men left out than women left out.

What's wrong with you my ladies? were you F on math?

The higher numbers of partners you can get in a life time, whether sex, casual or LT partners, the higher probability that you can meet the right person --> getting the right relationship.

Why is this too hard to understand for you?

We're talking about 'aspie' men vs 'aspie' women, not men vs women.

I actually do math for a living, so...

Heteronormative standard: date = 1 man + 1 woman. Every time a woman goes on a date, so does a man. Why is *this* so difficult to understand???

And don't give me "Aspie" women v. "Aspie" man. I can also beat my head against a wall, but at least I was trying (and failing). There is no more success in trying and failing 1,000 times than there is in never getting to bat. Not effectively. In fact, it's probably worse because we get the same "You suck" messages going through our brains that those who don't date get, and we actually gave it our all.

And I had to *really* work the online thing. For every message I sent out, I got back, I'd say, 95% of some canned, "No thanks, not interested" reply, if I got a reply back at all.

what you are failing to understand is that sex != dating. and having a higher number of potential sex partners means absolutely nothing in the world of dating, because getting laid is completely different.

from personal experience, when i took every mention of sex off my profile, there was a huge difference in the number (and type) of partners i could obtain.

i see that you're having some difficulty with the math, actually. for every woman who is "getting" a man, there is a man who was "gotten". and again, "getting" a aman for sex doesn't help with dating. there was someone in another thread who was reminding me that men who engage in casual sex with a woman are extremely unlikely to be seeking a long term relationship.

i wonder... if a man put on his profile about how he can't wait to get married, and wants to settle down and have kids, and how he loves staying at home and cuddling... would he have a better chance of success than a woman who said the same things? i would guess yes (it's the closest i can think of to the reverse of a woman putting sex all over her profile, in terms of stereotypes), but i've not seen someone trying that.

Again, we're talking about the 'aspie' population.

no, we weren't.

and there are no statistics regarding aspie men and women and singlehood, so if you're trying to prove something here, you will find it difficult.