How do you handle compliments?

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Whoa! This thread is big A lot of questions too...I'll start with the original.

For me, compliments are a mixed bag. I either think of them as a mask to veil the original truth (which I don't detect until well after the event), or I think they're genuine, but would have to think about it long before the event past before I came to that conclusion. In both cases, I don't handle them well, probably because most of the time I receive them I feel there either isn't usually a logical context to it or because my past was filled with people giving me false compliments (which I took at face value before finding out the reality). For example, I've had a few colleagues mention my musical abilities. That I can accept and say "thank you" or something along those lines (I still can't tell if that's an appropriate response or not), but if it's something else, unless we were talking about it deeply, I find it harder to accept.

Depending on the person I'll either ignore it, say thank you, or explain how they are wrong if I feel the compliment is inaccurate. I don't like being complimented if I feel they are wrong about it. Like they are trying to involve me in a lie. But I'm also not very self aware in many ways so I'll sometimes try to think about what they said and try to figure out if they are correct.

ANd I know better than to try to reject a compliment from someone I don't know well.

I hate receiving compliments, I have no idea how to react. I usually just say "thanks", and may look a bit perplexed or even disturbed. I'm bad at giving them too - not that I don't want to or see no reason not to (people have been telling me that it's necessary from primary school, even though I got my diagnosis at 28), but I'm bad at not making it seem awkward and forced. But I'm worse at receiving them than giving them. I handle criticism well though, perhaps too well - sometimes to the extent of compulsive apologies, or whatever the term is.

I even once apologized to a foreigner (couldn't know it was a foreigner, she was Caucasian) after she bumped into me (I tend to think it's my fault even when it's not), but I was so perplexed that I yelled "UNNSKYLD, UNNSKYLD!" so loudly that she thought I was angry with her, told me she was sorry, but that there was no reason to yell in English, chuckled at my reaction and went on. I guess I should apologize less. I also can't switch languages if I get stressed out like that, so I just gave her a panicked look and continued my shopping.

Kjas&BlueMax- *Sigh* Yes this is the problem...I can't but wonder how many of the compliments I gave him were written off as lies???

I have also noticed that some people feel unworthy of compliments.

I learned from a young age to always say thank you. I was nine when I learned it. Before that I didn't say anything. I didn't know compliments existed nor knew nothing about them. So if someone praised me or something, I just sat there and said nothing. I didn't know I was supposed to respond.


But if the compliment is wrong, I simply correct them.

Yeah that is the other part - if it doesn't make logical sense to us, it will either be dismissed as a lie or we will correct you.

Depends on who gives them. Compliments from family members or older people does nothing for me but getting complimented by a women in my age group certainly makes my day; of course it's so rare.

So my six year old asked me if she looked nice. I said yes. Then she says "are you just saying that"? So I guess even children are leery of compliments!

I never know how to react to compliments. My mind tells me that they're just telling me something nice to get something out of me. I discount what they say and tell myself they really didn't mean it.