I quit.

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Why dont you f**k off already if all youll do is b***h at what people do to help you.

Go outside and do something. Anything. You live in the Southeast, right? Near the Appalachians? If so, you got mountains to hike. Just going outside alone, regardless of women, will put you in a better position than you're in now.

Too hot, to many bugs, to far away, I have no car, no way to get there, and I don't want to go alone.

Look, I appreciate you trying to be helpful and suggesting stuff.. but I really have no desire to do anything which requires me to go outside. I live in the completely wrong climate.. climatological, geographical, demographically, political, and religious.

MHX, I would have fully agreed with you when I was 21. As you live through your 20s, I wish you the best, and hope you don't reach the same conclusions as the OP and myself. But I'll let you in on a little secret, you might think differently when you're a little older.

Disclaimer:
I don't hate you, it's very very hard for me to hate people (even bad people have good points imo) so that's not going to happen unless you appear in my office right now and punch me in the face. I have no intention of making fun of anyone unless it's sarcasm which I don't do online because it's too hard to convey without my facial expressions. Also, I'm not trying to help you either, I'm just saying what I think regardless of whether it helps you or not (which is what I do to everyone in any situation). I don't even know you and I don't care about you because I've never met you and as far as I know you're not a friend of mine. However, I have some questions, and you don't have to answer me but maybe you can ask yourself these things:

What do you like doing at home? (keep reading...I know what you're thinking but hear me out) you can change it so you can do it outside, or find something you like doing outside (you say 'most things' you like are at home). Do you live alone? If not do the people you live with do stuff outside? Do your friends? Do you have a dog you can take for a walk outside?

How do you know these are the best years of your life?

Often you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel because it's blinding (e.g. you can't see the forest for the trees), or because you don't want to see it and would rather be depressed and blame others (not an insult...I used to be like this and it's an easy way to live, and if you like living like this then recognise it at least)

OK here is my one piece of advice and you can take or leave it. I used to think nothing had changed in my life since I was 14 too. Then i looked at some school photos of me when I was 14. Do it. Look at photos of you or things you wrote when you were 14 and you'll find you were different.

exactly, people

there are a lot of different kinds of people who are autistic
some of them are even women, so when you want to "discuss" how awful they all are (no matter how much you try to justify the generalization with anecdote) I'm going to take issue with it.

Other posters get frustrated that your idea of discussion is repeating yourself over and over and over again without ever engaging. It can be frustrating to keep running into that wall, probably especially for people who are sympathetic to you and your issues.

It's like someone says they're hungry and you ask them what they want for dinner and they say "I dunno" so you start throwing out suggestions of perfectly acceptable dinner foods, but they don't want any of it. so they keep shooting down your ideas, won't suggest any of their own, and the whole time they keep whining about how hungry they are...eventually you're going to get frustrated.

Finding the right person, or even a person to be with for a while, is hard. You have to go through a lot of crap to find somebody who is even acceptable, and then date them for a while to see if you truly do click or not. It's easy to get bitter. It's easy to blame yourself or blame the entire opposite sex. Neither is true. What is true is that you haven't found someone compatable yet.

One thing that people tend to start believing is that they deserve to find a relationship. That they deserve happiness. None of us deserve either. We deserve the chance to try for it, but that's it. Most of us will succeed somewhat. By "us" I'm talking about both NT's and AS's. NT's have just as hard a time finding the right person too. I think we aspies tend to take it more personally, are more negative by nature, and have a lower tolerance for frustration and a higher sensitivity to rejection.

If you don't want to keep trying, then quit. Give it a rest for a while. Put some space between you and the dating world. Maybe that will give you time to get your head together better about it, and give you a different perspective. Change your expectations or criteria, which most people do with age. If and when you do start back, don't go in with the expectations of anything more than a nice evening out. If you go out again, don't expect more than a nice second date.

One thing that some guys don't know is that many girls can pick up on the vibe that the guy is wanting it to develop into something of a relationship, and he's wanting that from the start. That puts many, many women off and so they tend to stop seeing him. Take it one date at a time, with no hopes or plans for the future for at least the first three months. If you date someone for three months, then and only then start considering whether or not to make it exclusive.

You also can't expect a love interest to help you get out of your shell. She doesn't want to do that. She wants you either already out of your shell, or she wants you introverted or however you are now. Friends help you get out of your shell. Maybe finding women friends who are just friends, and getting them to help you do that would help. Find a female friend and tell her you would like her help to make you more attractive to women and help you become possible relationship material. Make sure she knows that you aren't trying to get her to be in that relationship with her, that you are just friends. She will be much more honest with you that way and more invested in helping you.

Quitting may be the best thing for you right now. Whether you quit for good or not is up to you. I'd give it some time and distance and rethink things, and get some help from a female friend, and when and if you feel like getting back in the game, then you will be better prepared.

As the old saying goes, don't hate the players, hate the game.

Okay, I'll answer your questions as best I can.. simply because you aren't freaking out at me or calling me names or anything..

I like to watch movies, read and type online.. I like organizing things.. I like doing research.. but I'm not allowed to go into the university library without paying.. since i'm not a student at that school. So I spend most of my time trolling the internet, and GALILEO looking for articles.. yes, that's more or less it.. I like to spend all my time.. doing nothing except those things. The problem is, that i'm so bad at organizing my own thoughts, and I get so emotionally attached to certain things that I am not very good at writing objective papers... they usually wind up becoming polemics instead.

I do live alone, no, none of my 'friends' like to do stuff outside either. I don't really have many people I consider 'Friends" and most of the ones I would consider my friends are worse off than I am, and possibly even more hopeless... except they also are probably less rigid in what they want and so are more likely to diametrically change their parameters.

They have to be the best years of my life.. since being old is by itself the direct opposite of "best".. at least as far as I'm concerned..

You could always get a doll as your girlfriend. I just saw that on National Geographic channel. The theory goes that it's more common for people with Asperger's to have a doll as their lover. I think it would suit you well since you don't seem to get along with people.

There's nothing wrong with organising or doing research, and some girls like doing this too (don't say they don't because I know girls who do including me), also there are girls who like to read and watch movies, so it's not like your hobbies are really weird or only doable alone (like some of mine). I'm not going to suggest how you can do these things and meet others (potential dates or friends) at the same time, you're intelligent, you can work it out. When you meet people on dating sites and they say 'lets just be friends' it can be good, and you can end up being close friends with someone you've dated (I don't care what people say, this has happened to me therefore proving it wrong), and then you'll have someone to go to the movies with, or talk about books over a coffee or whatever. No, they might not be your girlfriend, but they will know others and maybe introduce you to other people. Or, just write and read and watch movies and be happy, who cares? Just cause society thinks that we need x y and z to be happy doesn't mean we do.

The people you don't consider friends, why not? Do they not consider you as a friend, or do you not like them?

Being old is not bad. The older I get the more balanced and easy going I become. I've heard people say that the best years of your life are your high school/college years, which in my case is a load of bs as they were the most terrible years of my life. What people say/think/believe is just an opinion, you don't have to believe it to, and you don't have to follow anyone else's rules on how to live life (unless they are the rules of the government, or the police, or your boss. This is sarcasm).

Don't pre-judge the rest of your life before it's even happened.

Where have you been meeting these duds--I don't mean for the dates, but first time meetings? If you look in a garbage dump, you will find garbage. You need to go to the right places to meet people. I would suggest avoiding online hook-ups, as people lie and exaggerate all the time on those online dating sites. Here are some other ideas on where to meet people.

- Take courses, either in person, or online. Some of the online ones are free. The in person ones are a good way to meet people.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. Attend events held at local houses of worship. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.

You also need to take time to get to know the people you meet before expecting a more intimate relationship. Right now, you sound desperate, and may be broadcasting that to your dates. This is likely to be turning them off. Also, don't spend more than you can afford on dates. Instead, come up with creative ways to have fun and eat on the cheap on dates. Now look into some of these ideas on meeting people, and eventually you may meet the right girl.

You get what you give... you dump on everyone else at every opportunity - especially if they have something positive to say.

Well, all I can say is; I'm glad you found a place to vent, and I hope you chill out soon and somehow find a positive viewpoint on..anything.

Seriously, not everyone faces favourable situations, everyone has been in situations where they have faced rejection or had feelings for someone when the other person hasn't but blaming women and taking your problems out on other members by hurling abuse is not the way to go about. A sense of entitlement and fragile ego isn't the best way to go about this.

If you are complaining about the situation and you're not making a concious effort to change it, you should realize people aren't going to be appreciative when you respond negatively.

enough.

rabbittss, if you want to vent, start a thread in the Haven. if you do not want advice, don't start a thread in the Love & Dating section of the forum. we are not your punching bag, so if people disagree with you, do NOT swear at them. members have taken the time to give you some decent help on this thread, but if you cannot handle frank advice then stop complaining about your situation in this section of the forum.