Women, what do you think of men who are quiet and shy?

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yellowtamarin
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23 Jul 2012, 8:15 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:

It's impossible to generalize and suggest that all women will like shy guys.As others in the thread have mentioned, women who are shy themselves will likely be more receptive to shy ,quiet guys.I am not a believer in the ''opposites attract '' idea.I strongly believe men with AS who are quiet and shy have a much better chance of getting into and maintaining a relationship if they focus on shy,quiet girls.Outgoing girls are not going to be as receptive to awkward advances from shy guys and will likely move on quickly.

I agree.

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23 Jul 2012, 8:26 pm

I do prefer guys who are quiet yet do ask me out. Recently I met someone in person at a singles event. I emailed a guy from the event and he asked me out via email. I like a guy I can talk to who is not loud and obnxious.

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Aimless
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24 Jul 2012, 5:57 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Aimless wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Weak.

They won't tell you this here tho.

That doesn't apply to me (I'm female). My only issue with shy men is being shy myself, I can't tell if they might be interested. "Weak" doesn't enter into my consideration.

You're lying- there are no exceptions to bitter dogmas!

:wink:

Sadly, my 14 year old son (who has AS) and has had no actual experience with relationships has adopted this bitter attitude. My only guess is that he's picked it up online.

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steviewonderau
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24 Jul 2012, 7:13 am

Females can get away with being quiet, shy and passive. Males are expected to take initiative and ask females out. Shy, quiet and social awkwardness in a male is regarded by society as a negative trait/weakness.

CrazyStarlightRedux
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24 Jul 2012, 7:18 am

steviewonderau wrote:

Hence why the population will soon decrease.

It's already doing the rounds in Japan. It's a Herbivore Nation.

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NTAndrew
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24 Jul 2012, 6:23 pm

Perhaps it is not shyness that is the problem, but rather the cause of the shyness.

I think a man can be strong, self-assured and quiet and it can be an attractive trait. If a man is shy because he has a low or damaged self esteem, that is an entirely different matter. That sort of timidity is death in a social situation, regardless of the genders involved. I've been on a dating website recently and a lot of what I see is women who are looking for confident, self-assured men who are comfortable in their own skin. That is not me. I think I can fake it for a brief time, but it would take a lot of effort. Eventually the facade will develop cracks and who I really am will become visible.

Besides, I am not sure I would like it if a woman fell for my alter-ego. The anxiety of her finding out who I really am would be pretty hard to live with.

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24 Jul 2012, 8:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Sexist double standard fact:

Shyness in girls is seen as virtue, or at least with indifference.

Shyness in guys is often seen as a very negative trait.

I have to disagree. My guy is quiet, soft spoken and a little shy. He still got the courage up to ask me out, and we are now engaged. I admired him all the more for taking the initiative since I saw how hard it was for him.

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aussiebloke
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24 Jul 2012, 8:30 pm

Aimless wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Aimless wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Weak.

They won't tell you this here tho.

That doesn't apply to me (I'm female). My only issue with shy men is being shy myself, I can't tell if they might be interested. "Weak" doesn't enter into my consideration.

You're lying- there are no exceptions to bitter dogmas!

:wink:

Sadly, my 14 year old son (who has AS) and has had no actual experience with relationships has adopted this bitter attitude. My only guess is that he's picked it up online.

I had that at that age to and the internet had not been invented :wink:

, look to the jungle ....

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AspergianMutantt
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24 Jul 2012, 8:32 pm

Women really DO find the silent, brooding type sexier: Scientists discover happy men are 'significantly less attractive'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ ... ladies.htm

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24 Jul 2012, 11:12 pm

AspergianMutantt wrote:

Women really DO find the silent, brooding type sexier: Scientists discover happy men are 'significantly less attractive'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ ... ladies.htm

That explains why women like those EMO singers.
Link gives me a message that~ The page you have requested does not exist or is no longer available.

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AspergianMutantt
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24 Jul 2012, 11:42 pm

Sorry, it was an old link

basically it was that females wanted a male to make happy, so they do not have to fuss as much to keep his interest. while he kept silent about his own brooding, that he is not the pity party type. and thus the mysterious type. which is attractive to females. the competent and strong male stereo type that just needed loving.

NTAndrew
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24 Jul 2012, 11:54 pm

AspergianMutantt wrote:

That makes a lot of sense.

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25 Jul 2012, 2:38 am

So there is hope for us shy guys after all!!

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NippityDooDah
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25 Jul 2012, 3:13 am

The whole social journey has been such a long and strange trip for me. I was painfully shy until maybe the last year of highschool. For some reason or another, I lost all of my shyness, at least in talking to people and getting to know them. Even with this, I still had no idea how to approach and/or proposition a female to a date... etc... So it has basically turned into a situation where it's easy for me to get to know a girl but from then on out I have no clue and am oblivious to what is going on. I'd say there was some shock felt by the females who were expecting me to pursue them, only to never ever be propositioned by me in the slightest... I'm pretty sure I left quite a few girls confused in my college years... but since then I have lost the drive to connect so it really has no bearing on my mind anymore like it used to...

bruinsy33
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29 Jul 2012, 1:20 am

yellowtamarin wrote:

bruinsy33 wrote:

I agree.

I don't mean to suggest a man with AS should turn down an advance from an outgoing girl who is OBVIOUSLY INTERESTED.They may very well be compatible but trying to create that ''interest'' [a shy guy going after an extroverted woman ]would be difficult in my opinion.

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12 Aug 2012, 6:41 am

Aimless wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Aimless wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Weak.

They won't tell you this here tho.

That doesn't apply to me (I'm female). My only issue with shy men is being shy myself, I can't tell if they might be interested. "Weak" doesn't enter into my consideration.

You're lying- there are no exceptions to bitter dogmas!

:wink:

Sadly, my 14 year old son (who has AS) and has had no actual experience with relationships has adopted this bitter attitude. My only guess is that he's picked it up online.

Dont be like that.

Its the only logical conclusion from the selected aspects on society we wish to pay attention to and we will not listen to anyone with a different view :lol:

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