unwillingness to change lifestyle for a mate

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I think this could describe me a bit. I think in my case, a lot of it comes from my parents, and being incompatible on their lifestyle choices. All the "chemistry" in the world, at least in a marriage or cohabitting context, can't solve all your lifestyle problems.

Like for me, I wanna drive 80s cars, buy all my clothes from Salvation Army and go dumpster diving and furnish my whole room with stuff I find. It'd be hard to find a woman OK with that, most women like new cars, in general, you know, buying things. So I'd not wanna switch my lifestyle economically to suit her tastes, and buy new cars I don't want, new silly little iPod docks (instead of just hooking a cord to a stereo), etc.

As far as socially goes, that's a different ballgame, too. I'd expect an "NT" partner would expect much more socializing and social adaptation out of me than I'd be willing to provide. Then an extremely introverted/shy girl might be the opposite extreme, and be like... too afraid to ask directions or something.

The main problem is I just don't believe anyone would accept me how I am, all of me, the good, bad, and ugly of me. And I don't want someone to be friends with me that just... does it out of obligation. I end up, even with platonic friends, just either friends out of a sense of moral obligation (they feel sorry for me) or friends out of me being able to benefit them in some way. I feel like that's the reasoning for 90+% of my friendships, so I think the same number of women would think similarly of me.

I'm willing to change things, but in my case, I can't change anything for a little while. For example, my not-quite-girlfriend is in the South, but if I could figure out a way to get down there AND at the same time get my mom situated without having to take her with me (long story) then I'd love to just get up and move.

im willing to change, but not to the point of molding to her specifications.

I willing to make some adjustments to certain parts of my lifestyle if they were bad for my health(went from drinking alcohol whenever I was out with people to almost not drinking it in a couple of weeks because I started hanging out with some people that didnt drink for example) or they were harming the way others see me(unlikely but you never know what could be seen as wrong/what I may get into in the future).


If it was just a few mild adjustments I may consider giving the relationship a try and trying to make this changes but otherwise if the changes needed are quite a lot I´d consider if the relationship can truly work and try to be understanding of their lifestyle but I cant change many things about my life(some things are a certain way for a reason...)