Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Latin, or Gringo Lover?

Page 4 of 5 [ 70 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Which do you prefer?
Latino (male) Lover 13%  13%  [ 1 ]
Gringo (male) Lover 13%  13%  [ 1 ]
Latina (female) Lover 50%  50%  [ 4 ]
Gringa (female) Lover 25%  25%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 8

Stalk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,157

04 Sep 2012, 2:59 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lies,_damn ... statistics :D

Would be interesting to know what the percentage is of accurate census samples per country :geek:



Last edited by Stalk on 04 Sep 2012, 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

spongy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

04 Sep 2012, 3:00 pm

Anyone against moving this to PPR.(updating the title)

Kjas concerns will be brought up to another moderator since I cant make a unbiased decission because Im already involved in the thread



ArrantPariah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2012
Age: 122
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,972

04 Sep 2012, 3:16 pm

Tequila wrote:
Shatbat wrote:
Normally women instead if giving in, they get increasingly pissed, and become more firm with their noes, cut off contact, and if a guy still persists then he may be getting into stalker territory, and that's just nasty and unrelated to culture.


OK then - my question is basically this. When do the men stop? How long does it get them to stop permanently? Can a woman just say "no" and walk away and that's the end of it?

I probably meant sexual harassment yes, but that can lead to rape.


I'm guessing that, in South America, it would be part of the ritual.

A woman might not want to appear a slut, or to be too easy. Therefore, she says "No" the first time (or first several times), expecting that he will be back. If she smiles sweetly and twists her hair while saying "No", then that will encourage him to up the ante. If she says "NO!" with a big scowl on her face, then he will probably not return.

Would male peacocks have bothered to evolve their luxurious tail-feathers and and elegant courtship displays, if many generations of peahens had not played hard-to-get?

In Anglophone countries, of course, a woman's "No" means "Go away and run for the hills, or your name will end up on the sex-offenders' registry!" We have exactly one shot, if we even dare to use it.



ArrantPariah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2012
Age: 122
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,972

04 Sep 2012, 3:19 pm

spongy wrote:
Kjas concerns will be brought up to another moderator since I cant make a unbiased decission because Im already involved in the thread


I wouldn't interpret it as a deliberate attempt to be insulting--more of a cultural misunderstanding, an honest question, with perhaps a somewhat unfortunate choice of words.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Sep 2012, 3:24 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
I wouldn't interpret it as a deliberate attempt to be insulting--more of a cultural misunderstanding, an honest question, with perhaps a somewhat unfortunate choice of words.


Indeed - it's impossible for me to see where the border lies. There seems to be no "yes" or "no" answer, which (to my mind) positively encourages harassment. What type of "no" is meant? It seems to rely very heavily on body language.

If a woman says 'no' to me then that's pretty much the end of it for me. It complicates the issue of consent even further than it needs to be IMO.

If Kjas can explain where the border lies, I'd be understanding. Is sexual harassment taken seriously in Latino culture?



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Sep 2012, 3:26 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
Anyway, this sounds like a very good recommendation for Brazil. :D


I don't think the place would be good for shy people or those people who are faint of heart, but if you have the self-confidence and the stomach for it, it sounds great.



puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

04 Sep 2012, 3:39 pm

Meh. My relationships with gringos have been very direct. I think that stereotype only applies to some men from the Anglosphere. When British men get drunk, they can be as direct as any.


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Sep 2012, 3:44 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
When British men get drunk, they can be as direct as any.


Weh-heh-hey!



ArrantPariah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2012
Age: 122
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,972

04 Sep 2012, 3:45 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
Meh. My relationships with gringos have been very direct. I think that stereotype only applies to some men from the Anglosphere. When British men get drunk, they can be as direct as any.


Australians, too, apparently.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM_Z0dSyp8Q[/youtube]

The stereotype must apply more to Americans.



puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

04 Sep 2012, 3:52 pm

Shatbat wrote:
Well, I guess that specific case could be rape but... where would you get the idea stuff like that happens, and happens usually? Normally women instead if giving in, they get increasingly pissed, and become more firm with their noes, cut off contact, and if a guy still persists then he may be getting into stalker territory, and that's just nasty and unrelated to culture. Something that happens more commonly with a "gringo" (using the non-offensive spanish meaning of the word I'm familiar with), a woman knows a guy for a while, feels safe with him, thinks of him as his friend and trusts him, and then bam! surprise rape. It's a nasty culture 8O (I can use that kind of argumentation too, you know)


I think Tequila is thinking about it from the POV of how an Anglo woman would react. Anglo women aren't as good at saying no and feel more uncomfortable about doing it. It is possible that an Anglo woman with very low self-esteem would just give into being pestered (a lot of us hate ourselves and do self-destructive things, sexually).


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Sep 2012, 4:10 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
Anglo women aren't as good at saying no and feel more uncomfortable about doing it. It is possible that an Anglo woman with very low self-esteem would just give into being pestered (a lot of us hate ourselves and do self-destructive things, sexually).


Correct. I was.



ArrantPariah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2012
Age: 122
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,972

04 Sep 2012, 4:48 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
Anglo women aren't as good at saying no and feel more uncomfortable about doing it. It is possible that an Anglo woman with very low self-esteem would just give into being pestered (a lot of us hate ourselves and do self-destructive things, sexually).


Is that a vote for the Latino style of courtship? :)



puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

04 Sep 2012, 4:52 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
puddingmouse wrote:
Anglo women aren't as good at saying no and feel more uncomfortable about doing it. It is possible that an Anglo woman with very low self-esteem would just give into being pestered (a lot of us hate ourselves and do self-destructive things, sexually).


Is that a vote for the Latino style of courtship? :)


Not as much.

It's a vote for the confidence that Latino women have. We should be able to say no and yes just as easily.

The male persistence ritual looks sort of unnecessary and annoying. I don't mind men being 'forward', though, as long as they're not gropey.


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Sep 2012, 5:08 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
It's a vote for the confidence that Latino women have.


And the bundas!



Kjas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,059
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore

04 Sep 2012, 5:21 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
I wouldn't interpret it as a deliberate attempt to be insulting--more of a cultural misunderstanding, an honest question, with perhaps a somewhat unfortunate choice of words.


I disagree on the basis that I pointed out earlier that it was unacceptable and highly offensive and inaccurate, and he continued to state it, full well knowing that - and knowing it carried, at the very least, racist implications.

ArrantParia wrote:
I'm guessing that, in South America, it would be part of the ritual.

A woman might not want to appear a slut, or to be too easy. Therefore, she says "No" the first time (or first several times), expecting that he will be back. If she smiles sweetly and twists her hair while saying "No", then that will encourage him to up the ante. If she says "NO!" with a big scowl on her face, then he will probably not return.


Pretty much this. The context of the word "no" is heavily dependent on body language - that is essentially where the line is.

I have seen girls say no but that are interested, only 5 minutes later, to be the one to initate the kiss.
I have also seen girls say no, and refuse to even smile at the guy, and they leave immediately usually.
The line is body language in combination with the word "no" - usually both must be consistent to indicate a true refusal, in which case the refusal will be taken seriously and he will no longer pursue her.

And yes Teq, sexual harassment is taken seriously.
If I am out alone at a club, often I end up hanging out with a group for the night and if someone is bothering me when I have told them no repeatedly, other guys from the group, even if they don't know me well, will step in and force the other guy to back off if they can see I said no enough times and meant seriously, and it is harassment.


_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html


Last edited by Kjas on 04 Sep 2012, 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Sep 2012, 5:29 pm

Kjas wrote:
I disagree on the basis that I pointed out earlier that it was unacceptable and highly offensive and inaccurate, and he continued to state it, full well knowing that.


You didn't explain to me how it wasn't rape though. How is a man to tell?

Perhaps my upbringing is clouding my thoughts, but I can't see any way of telling what would be considered OK. If a woman told me "no", even if she was smiling, I'd think she was playing with my head.