THISis why i quit dating sites

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GiantHockeyFan
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25 Sep 2012, 7:10 am

Well preferences are perfectly fine and I have been clear on what mine are here. However, there is a big difference between preferring taller men (or in my case pale skin) to flat out saying "I won't respond to anyone under 5'10". In other words, she will turn down Brad Pitt if he was 5'9" and that seems incredibly superficial to me. If a girl was perfect in every way except she had darker skin I'm obviously not going to care about it! Again, I want someone to love and respect me for things I can control: my fitness level, my love of children, my kind and caring nature and my loyalty and integrity not for being a genetic freak :lol:

Shau wrote:
AND ARE YOU MAD?! STRAIGHT RED HAIR!! That's the BEST HAIR! Who cares if it's not your favorite, you'll be the envy of men the world round!


Of course not and that's exactly my point. I would be insane not make hair colour a dealbreaker just as she is insane to make height a dealbreaker, especially when she spells out the minimum height requirements! I can think of a hundred things more important like: smoking, drugs, thoughts on children, intelligence, heart but it's all about the height. Sounds to me like another immature girl who doesn't understand what really important in life and that's pretty much the common theme I have run into: women in general treat it like a meat market and I thought men were supposed to be the superficial gender. I'll leave my profile up but I don't anticipate meeting that special someone online.



ALguy1957
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26 Sep 2012, 2:26 am

I think height restrictions are a bit extreme too. Especially when I see a 5'-2" woman putting down she doesn't want a guy under 5'-10" or 6' tall! I would feel awkward around a woman more than an inch or two taller than me, but most women aren't that tall anyway. My only real "musts" is that she doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs or have any (underage) kids with her. Smoking and kids are the first two things I always search on and look at in the profiles.



WantToHaveALife
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26 Sep 2012, 5:38 pm

what i also hate too is that it's okay for a girl to make getting a boyfriend, getting a relationship a priority in life, but guys are not allowed to make getting a girlfriend, a relationship a priority in life



bizboy1
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27 Sep 2012, 3:23 am

Wolfheart wrote:
I would say that real life is easier since girls in real life are only approached a few times a week whereas girls on dating sites have a few hundred messages to sort through. That can inflate their ego somewhat and you will learn a lot quicker approaching girls in public.


Most definitely!


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spongy
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27 Sep 2012, 3:45 am

I like to discuss whatever is going on in my life with some friends of both genders to get a bit of perspective on things.

A year ago I was into dating sites so I ended up discussing that with a few people:
One of them told me that the main problem with online dating is that its too easy to restrict yourself and say I want this, I want that, and I want it to be 20%cooler(I know the reference will be lost for most of you but I needed to try), this means that if a candidate of either gender doesnt meet your "requirements"they are unlikely to contact you.

Whereas in real life things are much more complicated than that and you may find yourself falling for a 1.60 girl even though you clearly stated you wanted them to be below 1.55 because other aspects make up for whatever requirements she may be missing.

Also a lot of people forget that a lot of aspects of what we say are lost online, and this means that people will have to work with what you´ve typed.
You may have said that you wanted a man with brown hair with a tone that made it clear that there was room for plenty of other colours and that was just your prefered colour, that is lost on an online profile...

That is why I stopped using dating websites(I started managing to have a decent conversation with a few users but it just seemed to be going nowhere and then I had this conversation about the above which made me give up I guess).



DogsWithoutHorses
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27 Sep 2012, 11:16 am

another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


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GiantHockeyFan
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27 Sep 2012, 11:19 am

I'm actually going to finally meet someone via online dating (reactivated my account but don't update it) but here's the thing: her profile was *dreadful* and did not in any way represent her and had she not initiated contact when I was bored I never would have given her a second look. I am doubtful she is girlfriend material (I'm thinking good female friend right now) but it's rather ironic how different she is from her profile. She pretty much said the same thing about me after our long phone conversation yesterday and lamented over and over again how unbelievable that I would not have women on the site chasing me.

We complain about not being able to show our true selves in real life as Aspies/Auties but online dating is much worse. No wonder so many, both men and women have such bad things to say about it.



BlueMax
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27 Sep 2012, 12:02 pm

Image
I often thought about making a similar shirt (though to my own tastes, of course.) ;)



spongy
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27 Sep 2012, 12:28 pm

886 wrote:
spongy wrote:

For example: Ive been talking to this girl online last week(we both know nothing is going to happen, its just friendly banter


busted, sir ;)

so telling her, afk facebook

This was cleared before we started with the banter.
She knows it, I know it and she likes to joke about how I said that she was just practice because she couldnt figure out what I meant.
Im pretty sure I know who you are now though



WantToHaveALife
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27 Sep 2012, 5:01 pm

basically, guys have to have priorities in life



Wolfheart
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28 Sep 2012, 11:25 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


I wouldn't say wtfield2 has a bad attitude about women, he has standards and that is understandable. He's met women from the dating site but he doesn't seem to make a great first impression so the main thing he needs to focus on is closing.

Nobody is obliged to sleep with someone else and some people on dating sites look better in their photos than they do in real life.



wtfid2
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29 Sep 2012, 2:37 am

Wolfheart wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


I wouldn't say wtfield2 has a bad attitude about women, he has standards and that is understandable. He's met women from the dating site but he doesn't seem to make a great first impression so the main thing he needs to focus on is closing.

Nobody is obliged to sleep with someone else and some people on dating sites look better in their photos than they do in real life.
when you say closing what do you mean?


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Wolfheart
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29 Sep 2012, 3:20 am

wtfid2 wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


I wouldn't say wtfield2 has a bad attitude about women, he has standards and that is understandable. He's met women from the dating site but he doesn't seem to make a great first impression so the main thing he needs to focus on is closing.

Nobody is obliged to sleep with someone else and some people on dating sites look better in their photos than they do in real life.
when you say closing what do you mean?


Having a successful first date which usually ends in a make out session and leads to a second date. Just because you have a successful date, don't think you have it in the bag and can lower your game on the second or third date.



DogsWithoutHorses
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29 Sep 2012, 12:03 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


I wouldn't say wtfield2 has a bad attitude about women, he has standards and that is understandable. He's met women from the dating site but he doesn't seem to make a great first impression so the main thing he needs to focus on is closing.

Nobody is obliged to sleep with someone else and some people on dating sites look better in their photos than they do in real life.


It's great that he has his own standards, but it's not cool that he berates women for having their own standards.
one or the other, wanting a skinny girl is no more moral than wanting a tall guy


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wtfid2
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29 Sep 2012, 2:18 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


I wouldn't say wtfield2 has a bad attitude about women, he has standards and that is understandable. He's met women from the dating site but he doesn't seem to make a great first impression so the main thing he needs to focus on is closing.

Nobody is obliged to sleep with someone else and some people on dating sites look better in their photos than they do in real life.


It's great that he has his own standards, but it's not cool that he berates women for having their own standards.
one or the other, wanting a skinny girl is no more moral than wanting a tall guy
actually you can control weight you can't control height.So yes it is more moral..but wanting a tall guy is moral too as it is more masculine and prevents danger;


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DogsWithoutHorses
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29 Sep 2012, 4:37 pm

wtfid2 wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
another thread where someone with a bad attitude about women complains that women don't like him...and the choir joins in
whine that women don't meet your requirements (are whales, hurdurr so funneh) whine that women have their own reuirements (because superficial judgements are only good when you're making then right?)

spongy has written some excellent advice here though


I wouldn't say wtfield2 has a bad attitude about women, he has standards and that is understandable. He's met women from the dating site but he doesn't seem to make a great first impression so the main thing he needs to focus on is closing.

Nobody is obliged to sleep with someone else and some people on dating sites look better in their photos than they do in real life.


It's great that he has his own standards, but it's not cool that he berates women for having their own standards.
one or the other, wanting a skinny girl is no more moral than wanting a tall guy
actually you can control weight you can't control height.So yes it is more moral..but wanting a tall guy is moral too as it is more masculine and prevents danger;


than replace weight with breast size or whatever
if it'sfine to prefer height or other physical characteristics, why did you reject a girl for having a stated height preference?


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