Coping with being an ugly male

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well, i can tell she looks a hell of a lot better than yours

you said that a girl you liked in hs refused to date you for a guy who looks identical to you only taller
two questions
1-how can anybody look identical to someone with marfan's syndrome??
2-arent marfan's tall? how tall was this other guy??

Im sure if i wanted i could get a girl pettier than his....

Yes, a girl pettier isnt much of a challenge.

now if you meant prettier then i say do it and shut me up. until then studt is winning

I have had problems coping with other peoples' reactions to how I look for most of my adult life.
I have noticed that most advice is of the 'surely it's not that bad' and 'you can do this to make to make yourself look better' variety. I think the most useful way of coping with 'not conforming to society's requirements where looks are concerned' is to learn to brush off other peoples' reactions. Otherwise you will always be chasing the unattainable ie 'no one must make me feel bad about how I look' - this is not humanly possible and however attractive a person is, someone will insult them as this is what human beings are like.

I have felt more empowered when I have been able to give back nasty looks and stares as opposed to when I've lost weight to try and conform more. I don't feel any urge to impress these unpleasant people. Yes I'd prefer they acted in a more respectful manner but make myself more attractive to please them? F-k that! These types of people will just focus on something else if it's not looks - they are inately critical and nasty ie not people worth bothering about. What will happen if their perfect looking partner puts on weight, gets depressed or develops an unsightly rash all over their body? They certainly won't be getting support from this ultra-critical type of person as they are only accepted/valued in the first place because they fit a narrow stereotype of beauty. So imagine the pressure on such a person to have to maintain that perfect facade - is that what you really want from a partner?? These are the things you need to bear in mind when considering the types of people who are so quick to judge others. They are sh***y human beings who will undermine anyone's self esteem, however they look, as that's their personality.

To want to impress or befriend people of this nature is ludicrous! These are people you shouldn't be giving the time of day to, let alone be worrying about! Start thinking whether they are good enough for you as human beings!

I think it's possible for most people to find a partner as long as they have inner self-confidence that they are a worthy person. That usually comes from a sense of achievement - competence or skill at something eg a job or hobby - something you can do well or better than the majority.

When you feel more confident you can return these shallow peoples' scornful looks with one that sends them scuttling back under their rock where they belong! Most won't maintain eye contact if you give them a hard stare back so they are invariably never as confident as they like to think!

Also, you have the distinct advantage of being able to suss out the people not worth bothering with straight away - it's like a massive warning sign above their heads as the type who judge in such a shallow manner are invariable lesser human beings with all the qualities you generally want to avoid - cruelty, intolerance, arrogance, selfishness, stupidity ie you are losing precisely nothing by having these people not want to associate with you and gaining a lot as they invariably have nothing to bring to the table but a pretty face. Take it from me - I've done a life-long analysis of this type! Even when they're not overtly nasty they're usually bland and boring as f-k! You won't find much wit among the overtly attractive types as they're used to people hanging on their every word no matter how banal it is so have no reason to develop an interesting personality.

Last edited by nessa238 on 10 Oct 2012, 9:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Hell, he may have had Marfan's too. The guy was like 6'3" and probably no more than 130 pounds. Not even joking. I don't see how he was able to survive in prison. (By contrast I am 5'10" and 150, although most of that weight is bone density. I should note that due to scoliosis I lost about 2 1/2 inches off my height. I was closer to 6'0" at one point)

He looked a lot like me in the face, except he didn't have prognathism (protrusion of the teeth) like I do, and he doesn't look like a pterodactyl (or rather Mushmouth from Fat Albert) from the side. So basically, the guy did look like he could be my brother from a front view, only he wasn't as bad looking as me. If that makes sense lol.

To make matters worse, the guy even has a similar name to mine. Same nickname, but a similar name. So she basically picked a better-looking guy with a similar name and who had been in prison for upwards of 15 years. Not very smart, IMO.

i can get a prettier girl, but she would still be ugly...so I'd rather not have either. Wat does this have to do with my post anyways? Nothing. All I said was that his ''inspiring'' poss don't van anything unless we see just what this self proclaimed ugly man is banging.

In a thread about people being judged harshly for their looks your comments are rather crass.

He likes her and most likely thinks she's attractive, what you think of her looks is totally irrelevant unless you're invested in competitive homosocial bonding.
If he's in a happy relationship, guess what? He wins.
I think it would be healthier if we treating getting with someone we actually liked as a goal instead trying to get with someone somebody else would like so they'll be jealous of you. It's ridiculous.

lol. you remind me of someone who i havent seen in a while. Same basics of life owes him a model girlfriend yet no willingness to do anything but b***h about it. The name escapes me, if anyone would be so kind to remind me of it id thank you.
Anyhow, back to you. You havent even seen his girlfriend. And with such a lovely attitude guess what, you probably rank lower than someone ugly and with a good personality. To be able to pull off being a dick, you have to be a prettyboy to start with.

Well, wtfid2 is the same guy who sent me a rather rude PM making fun of my lack of friends because I failed to check my PMs for a few days. This type of behavior doesn't surprise me a bit.

That's not even logical!

If you didn't reply to a PM quickly it would tend to imply you had other people in your life who you were more focused on.

Does wtfid2 even have an ASD??

For a person supposedly on the spectrum to be making fun of another person for having a lack of friends is pathetic - it implies to me they are more NT than ASD

I wouldn't communciate with such a person ever again if they sent me a PM like that

Last edited by nessa238 on 10 Oct 2012, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i actually sent you a nice pmsaying you sounded cool..which you read and ignored and then i sent a followup saying you have no reason to complain about having no friends when you ignore people.

he read the pm i checked my sent folder. I did not send him a rude pm until he ignored my friendly reachout. I didn't make fun of him either.

Perhaps having read some of your posts on this board, DialAForAwesome decided you weren't someone they wanted to talk to (unsurprisingly!)

this thread isnt about bashing me. I was nothing but nice to the kid and he ignored me...so if anyone is the ''dick'' it is not me. Also if you look at these posts Im the only onv who has not called the Nintendo guy ugly..i said he was self proclaimed while MX calls him ugly all the time. coming from an effeminate asexual male though that's high praise

Last edited by wtfid2 on 10 Oct 2012, 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.