Would you critique my OKCupid?

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Girls are not a homogeneous group, and thus many "girls" don't give two hoots about this (just like many don't care how high your pants are), and many will be actively turned off if you go on and on about what a great boyfriend you'll be before you even get to the first date! These are things he needs to prove when he's actually dating somebody, putting them in his dating profile is trite and meaningless. Also, when guys mention how they "give great massages", it really creeps me out.


You bring up some solid points here, the profile could be warmer and more inviting, but I don't think it's advisable that he take down all the film stuff. The film stuff is interesting. Hopes and dreams are important, and he could sprinkle some in there, but ultimately the things he has done and are actively doing right now are more relevant to who he actually is.

For the record, with the profile he has now, I would message Brian, but would be massively put off if his whole profile was littered with mentions of how lonely he is and fantasies about all the things he wants to do with his dream girlfriend. A little tidbit in the "You should message me if..." section is all you need to communicate what kind of girl you're looking for. "Message me if you want to collaborate on a film project", though as you mentioned, you might want to move away from films a bit here. Mine says "message me if you know how to play exquisiteness corpse" and previously "message me if you want to drink mint tea and swap travel stories". You can get pretty creative with it, and often a bit of humour is the best way to go here, "message me if you want to start a chimpanzee sanctuary together", haha!

Still, I have my reservations about whether he's ready to date right now.

Yes I agree that not all girls are the same. I don't care about his trousers being high up, either. I think it makes him look conservative and well-dressed, as opposed to looking like a hooligan slob. But all girls are different. Therefore he should set up his profile to attract the kind of girl he's looking for. At the moment he will probably only attract film graduates, who are probably rather scarce. If he doesn't want to give massages, and hates doing it, of course he shouldn't lie and pretend that he does. It had never occurred to me that mentioning massage would come across as creepy. I don't see it as creepy; I just see it as a talent/skill that you can offer in a relationship. I wasn't saying he ought to literally copy my suggestions word for word if they are not applicable to him; I was only giving some random ideas.



Well it just goes to show that all girls are different. Personally, based on his emotional posts on WP, I would message him like a shot, but based on his current detached and career-based dating profile that is sadly lacking in decent photos, I would avoid him like the plague! I suppose it depends on what kind of girl he wants to attract.

It makes me a bit sad that you think you are not worthy because you don't have a girlfriend.

You are worthy as individual, you don't need a girlfriend to feel that all your achievements have sense.

I met people that were a bunch of boring people and they never had problems to find a partner, and I met very interesting people that had problems finding love. Do you think the boring ones are worthier because they are into a relationship? Nah... being into a (dull) relationship didn't make them less boring or worthier than when they were single.

About your profile, I would add a photo not related to cinema.

It's a good profile. You have a cool job and you seem very cultured. People that is very cultured normally gets less attention, that's not because these people are not worthy, that's because a lot of men and women are not cultured, so they are incapable of valuing them.

Don't link your self-esteem to your single state, link it to your intelligence, effort, creativity and your recent success .