why won't my ex gf get back with me?

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In my experience it can be a lot harder in the long run if the person does come back to you.

This happened to me - the person I've been seeing broke up with me last year for about 2 months and I thought it was definitely over. I sent numerous emails with no response (unbeknown to me he'd blocked me and wasn't even receiving the emails rather than just ignoring them heartlessly) so thought it must be finished permanently and was coming to terms with it.

I went through a very bad period of depression and was just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and he emailed me out of the blue and it all started over again!

There have been numerous instances of falling out and making up back and forth since but over a shorter time-scale and then as of yesterday he's actively dumped me again and I think this time is probably permanent

So I castigate myself for not ignoring his email when he got in touch again after the last main breakup as all I've done is repeat the whole process so that I go through the suffering of a break-up all over again!

So in my opinion it's better to move on into new territory than keep making the same mistake over and over again with a person I'm evidently incompatible with

I'd advise you to do the same.

If the OP is persistant enough to essentially make the same thread over and over hoping for validation of his creepy behavior, I see no reason to believe he's done stalking his ex.........

What's the definition of 'desperate' though? Someone who badly wants to be in a relationship? That's most people though isn't it?

Two desperate people getting together is not a good recipe for a meaningful relationship. It's very unhealthy and it will only end in disaster. You have to be choosy and find someone who is actually worth your time and emotional energy. I'm speaking from the perspective of a female who is in a stable relationship, and who has rejected guys based on their low self-esteem, whining, and poor attitude. The desperate act is just repulsive to any woman who has even a semblance of self-worth.

How dare you you reject those poor "nice guys" just because you wanted someone better and less depressing!?

I've gone out with needy people and didn't find them 'repulsive' at all - they badly wanted to be loved, like all people do

You sound rather callous to me tbh

You might be right but you totally missed my point.

There's nothing wrong with being a desperate person as long as you're willing to settle for other desperate people.

Calling a girl callous or heartless because they reject someone is unfair. It's more "nice guy" crap.

I'm no stranger to rejection and more recently (thanks to discovering I'm actually quite the stud) I've been the person having to do the rejecting most of the time. It's actually not as easy as you think. Most times I actually feel worse about turning someone down that likes me than I do about having my heart broken. Unless you've been on the other side of rejection you can't get a proper perspective.

Last edited by Geekonychus on 12 Feb 2013, 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The point is that the OP is chasing after a woman who OBVIOUSLY wants nothing to do with him.

There's a saying somewhere about doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result each time, but I can't seem to find it.

Serious psychoanylytical question for the OP:

Why should she settle for you?

I'd prefer a straight forward response but I'm not expecting one.

I've been on both sides and 'repulsive' is a word I'd never use about anyone I've been out with. It says more about the user of the word in my opinion. It's a nasty, aggressive, judgemental word.

You can tell a hell of a lot about a person by the type of language they use

I want people to feel they shouldn't let anyone judge them harshly in the dating game and if they do it's the other person's problem!

People who judge others harshly and look down on them are not worth anyone's time

They think their judgements make them a 'higher quality person' who doesn't tolerate 'losers' (another word I can't abide!)
but it's the opposite

Kindness and patience are the qualities people should be looking for in a date/partner, not people who look down their nose at others and sneer!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I not only second this but would like to add

Do you only love her because she's the only one to show anything towards you?
I ask because I have notice on myself that I do tend to fall for girls that at least in my mind seem to like me

Why do you keep crying for 'evidence' when the advice of your own experience will tell you the truth of it?

I know men who are so much more stronger than myself. They are the strongest people I know.

Don't generalise.

Yeah, I'm one of them.