How to avoid the creep-zone on Facebook
spongy
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I think its important to devide the people, that you are linked with, in certain groups. What seems rather unnormal and not understandable to people rather scares them. So what can be totally normal for the one, might be scarying = creepy for others. Refering tons of deep life philosophy poems around rather normal people that are not interested into that, seems weird to them, because the majority of people agrees that social contact should of advantage for both affected people. Forcing information on someone not interested into an topic, is not of advantage for him, so doing so is mostly not understandable for the majority of people. So that gives them the impression that its not possible for them to understand your motives, and not being able to understand someone motives and predict his moves, generally scares people.
So I dont generally hide my interests before others, but I care to keep the amount of information about an certain topic, to an normal "amount" to the people I am talking with and dont "flood" them with tons of informations, the majority will not be interested in.
So on the specific Battlefield 4 pages, I can read and dicuss a lot about the preferences of the new game, cons and pros, but I lock that for the my general infosite, so on my general facebook site, you only see an general "Woohoo, Battlefield 4 is released, hope it will be a great game!" post. Playing a bit computergames already is normal, so sharing that in an "normal" amoutn is considered to be generally accepted, its only about basically telling people to be interested in an certain hobby, without smashing them with unrequested information.
Same goes for my Star Wars interest: I mention being generally interested in a new book series, showing a pic of an Star Wars helloween costume or generally liking a new video game on my general page. While I dont share discussions about character development of certain book series, or the interference that two different book, offering tow different informations, that the majority of people never heard of, on my public facebook blog. ^^
As well for my pen and paper and midi-age/fantasy interest.
People dont get scared about other people having general hobbies. Its only the fanatic intensity, that we Aspergers often have, that might scare them, that can lead us to smashing tons of informations on people, without tehm showing any interest about it, because of them not having similar intense interests, which gives them the impression of not being able to understand our thoughts = not being able to predict our thoughts and actions = scary/creepy.
About the topic of woodster and Marcia: Yes, being to intense (means more then the majority) interested of getting into contact with people, is nothing else. The majority of people doesnt have that intense need to talk to other people, that they would ignore other peoples request to have no more contact. The myjority would simply move on, to instead have contact with the people, that like to have contact with them, instead of insisting to have contact with people, that dont like to have contact with them. That intensity of need to have contact with people, that you even insist on forcing contact on others, is something they dont feel themselves, so they dont understand it, which makes that person not predictable to them = not understandable.
I dont meant to tell someone, that you shall generally hide needs and interests, that are more intense in you, then for the majority. But simply to not force that information on people, not interested about it. The majority of people is not interested in informations about character development of an star wars book series, most people never heard about. Telling them, that you are collecting Star Wars book, is for someone not interested about that hobby, but only generally interested in you, sufficient. So there is no need to force that upon them. But there are several interest groups on facebook, sharing the intensity of that interest, and where you are absolutely invited to share your thoughts with similar people.
Its less about hiding, but more about respecting someones interest. So when I showed my coworkers my helloween costume, they asked about how I acchieved certain parts, and then its totally ok to tell, that there are specific sites on the internet for Star Wars fans, offering you sewing informations and patterns about Star Wars costumes. You are then giving them an information, they are interested about and have requested for, and thats considered to be normal.
While forcing informations on people, that they are not intersted in, anyway if its life philosophy, reflection of your personality, generally unknow Star Wars information or whatever, is not, and so its considered to be weird. But most people will be totally ok, with the general information, that you do so with other people, sharing your interests with you.
YES
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I wish this was like Reddit where we could +1 threads...I'd bump this one up for sure
The OP has points that I'd agree with, and in the past when I was on facebook I'd see people on the spectrum I knew break these "rules" at times. They aren't really rules per se, but if you're wanting to make a positive impression on others, these things should be generally avoided.
And I *love* Schneekugel's point about dividing friends into "groups" which is something that I do - I tend to have friends for my different moods and interests and like to keep them separate, though they may overlap categories. I have friends who have ASD, but that's not all of who I am - generally, I have silly/playful friends, vegetarian friends, and those who are into alternative viewpoints who I love getting into deep discussions with. My boyfriend has video game friends, hockey friends, work/school friends, and political friends. The ASD people I know, in contrast, tend to reveal all of themselves at once and have no limits to their topics they choose/limits on special interests when they meet people, which comes off as overwhelming to some NTs unless they truly understand ASD. It has also made for some very awkward interactions between my boyfriend and some of my AS friends (luckily he is forgiving, but not all NTs are).
I also like their point about allowing yourself to have outlets for special interests instead of talking about them to everyone. I have some very specific interests, and while I tend to hide these around people aside from brief mentions, I at least want to talk about them with someone. My shrink is a good way to let my obsessions out, but perhaps I should also start searching for events/clubs where people share my obsessions. I tend to keep the discussion about them with other people to a minimum...unless, of course, they ask about the interest, then I will happily answer questions while keeping interest and avoiding a monologue. Many people tune out when a "flood of information" is given and seem to stick with general topics, including general explanations about your interests. I feel that the same "rules" apply to social media.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Yeah, Schneekugel's tip is very helpful. You might sign up to an interest group on Facebook and have a lot you want to say that while is harmless within the group page, will make you look weird on your own timeline. So if you sign up to groups always worth making your privacy settings hide that activity from everyone on your Facebook bar other group members. Better yet try to join closed groups if you can.
The_Face_of_Boo
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