17 Nov 2013, 5:13 am
17 Nov 2013, 5:20 am
FMX wrote:
Sounds to me like these approaches to "time of first sex" are really just a matter of degrees and definition of "relationship", rather than polar opposites as they first seem.
Some people have a rule of "no sex before marriage". I personally knew a couple where the girl said "no sex before engagement". Some say "no sex on the first date". When you think about it, these are all just different degrees of "no sex before a certain level of commitment" where
marriage > engagement (formally committed) > informally committed > dating > went on one date
Then the question comes down to which stage you define as "in a relationship". yellowtamarin's and Cafeaulait's approaches are not necessarily different, depending on that definition. Some people may consider it a "relationship" if they've gone out on 3 dates and are not dating anyone else, but haven't had sex yet. Sure, the relationship may end immediately after the first time they have sex, but that's a different story.
Some people have a rule of "no sex before marriage". I personally knew a couple where the girl said "no sex before engagement". Some say "no sex on the first date". When you think about it, these are all just different degrees of "no sex before a certain level of commitment" where
marriage > engagement (formally committed) > informally committed > dating > went on one date
Then the question comes down to which stage you define as "in a relationship". yellowtamarin's and Cafeaulait's approaches are not necessarily different, depending on that definition. Some people may consider it a "relationship" if they've gone out on 3 dates and are not dating anyone else, but haven't had sex yet. Sure, the relationship may end immediately after the first time they have sex, but that's a different story.
To me, a relationship means both individuals have decided that they are in a relationship and they are 'exclusive'. I also cannot have sex with someone if I am not in love with the person. Off course, there has to have been some sort of physical interaction before I change my facebook status to 'in a relationship'.
Three dates and not dating anyone else is no relationship for me.
The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2013, 5:55 am
17 Nov 2013, 5:58 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2013, 6:04 am
17 Nov 2013, 6:05 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2013, 6:10 am
17 Nov 2013, 6:21 am
17 Nov 2013, 8:35 am
yellowtamarin wrote:
I think I probably have to point out here that yes, I do believe getting to know someone better is part of the fun of a relationship. But I like to know the basics beforehand, so we aren't wasting each other's time.
Well this is precisely the crux. I feel exactly the same, however, if I have got to the point of having sex, I would like to have already assured myself I am not wasting my time. For me sex is a very strong bonding process and I will be left devastated and processing the experience for a long time if things didn't work out. Obviously this doesn't seem to work the same way for everyone so it becomes very awkward when everyone tries to use some universal rule of "when are we an item".
Good chatting Ms!
17 Nov 2013, 8:58 am
leafplant wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
I think I probably have to point out here that yes, I do believe getting to know someone better is part of the fun of a relationship. But I like to know the basics beforehand, so we aren't wasting each other's time.
Well this is precisely the crux. I feel exactly the same, however, if I have got to the point of having sex, I would like to have already assured myself I am not wasting my time. For me sex is a very strong bonding process and I will be left devastated and processing the experience for a long time if things didn't work out. Obviously this doesn't seem to work the same way for everyone so it becomes very awkward when everyone tries to use some universal rule of "when are we an item".
Good chatting Ms!
I feel the same.
17 Nov 2013, 7:11 pm
19 Nov 2013, 4:37 pm
19 Nov 2013, 6:24 pm
20 Nov 2013, 12:21 pm
23 Nov 2013, 4:31 am
marsh7024 wrote:
It is likely that they met online. However it is also possible that they used to live in the same area and then one of them had to move.
Well, the last thing is not the case so I am also thinking it's the first thing.
This really makes me want to consider online dating
23 Nov 2013, 10:58 am
