why don't girls make the first move?

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You, my friend, have a serious obsession with the word "quasi".

First: I am a girl and did the first move.

Second: There IS on both sides interaction expected in flirting, but because of us lacking the ability to receive certain body-, mimic-, facelanguage- and eyesignals as Asperger/Autist we are sh***y sending receiving them.

Just as you are not able to see these body signals, that are inviting you without words to a flirt, as well I was not able to send them correctly, which leaded to me breaking the custom, and instead doing my first steps verbally.

Normal NTs normally are able to tell by eyecontact if there is sympathy/interest between them. And IF that is so, THEN they approach. To do so, before this silent agreement is made, is most likely rude/unwanted. Dont match that with an behaviour done totally on purpose. Most of that NT´s are themselves not aware.

If you want example: Person A sees Person B, and becomes interested. Will look more often into that direction maybe. This raises chances on Person B meeting eyecontact with Person A, when looking around.

Both recognize instinctively sympathy or interest: Approach is agreed, means maybe inviting to drink or come over to gossip or asking friends if they know or have heard about "that girl/this guy" over there and so on.

While if one regularly overlooks Person A interested looks, then there seems to be non instinctive sympathy/interest and so if Person A approaches suddenly out of nothing, because of that being against the untold, unwritten, and actively unknown social rules, this is supposed to be most often unwanted and rude.

Because of me being sh***y in that signal stuff, I choose the solution of being directly on my own, but its not to everyones liking. So there are enough boys, that feel as if you took them away their testicles, if you "steal" them the first physical approach. ^^ So its impossible to do it always right. ^^

perhaps he really likes the hunch back of notre dame, quasi modo. .

^ This

Man, it would make my day, my year if a woman came up to and asked me out. Hell, if a woman just flirted with me. Just to know that someone found me physically attractive. Never has it been so true, that the grass is greener on the other side....women (rightfully so) don't want to be objectified, and yet for me, how marvelous a sensation that would be for me!

To the few individuals who've tried to stay on topic: thanks. But my question regarding reproductive fitness isn't really answered yet...

Because you got it all wrong, our species isn't that unique in that and doesn't really have it backward. The males in most species initiate by displaying, so the initiation part is still the male job.


For humans and in most cases, men display (they display confidence, social skills, character, wealth, paying for date...) and the asking out thing is part of displaying (of confidence, social skills, courage, manners...etc) and the women would "assume the position" only later after the guy being approved; that's why in most cultures it's typically expected from the men to do the asking out.

are you still secretly "displaying" to ladywoofwoof?

Yup, on skype like this:

and the truth finally comes out

oh,it's alots of fun.

I interpret the "assume the position" to be the equivalent of the "asking out" portion. Really, asking out is usually what I mean by "initiate". Everything before that moment however, is a mating display. Which indeed, is not unique to humans..

Females in other species know when a male is giving a mating display and respond to it by inviting the male to mount. Everything goes the same in our species up until that point, where the male invites the female to engage.