Hale_Bopp's "tear apart my okcupid profile" thread

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I like wrong planet because I get to see people who think like me. You make your profiles like I would make mine.

to hale_bopp: Your profile is much better than 90% of the profiles I have seen.

I judge by:

1) Pictures: You have a variety of pictures and they are well-done, very well done. They don't look amateur at all, like most pics. To me the picture is the most important thing. That's what draws people in. Another good thing (unless you are just looking for casual sex) is to look attractive but not overly sexual in your pictures. Your pictures send the right message, I think. They are classy.

2) The "Her Details" section on the right-hand side of the screen: just looking to make sure there aren't any obvious things that would cancel a person out

3) The essays on the left-hand side of the screen.: just browse through a person's answers to get a general sense of the person's personality. (Notice the answers to those essays are the least important thing to me, and I just browse through those answers. There are way too many profiles for me to read everything on each person's profile.)

One suggested change would be that long list labelled "Stuff I like:" To an aspie, it might be important not to leave any details out when describing things, but as a reader with a short attention span, I just skip over the whole list because it is too long. The other things you wrote are great--just short descriptions a couple of sentences long and with content that is endearing. You seem like a positive, fun person to hang out with because of your profile.

Also, your screen name is not offensive and does not make you look weird. That is good.

I went ahead and made a profile on okcupid as a response to this thread. I didn't know anything about okcupid until reading this thread and the other thread about okcupid. It seems better than other sites I have tried. I have no way to meet women locally unless somebody I know hooks me up on a blind date.

Last edited by em_tsuj on 02 Jan 2014, 5:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

although i have a limited depth of emotional perception, i none the less feel a bit sorry for people who have to resort to marketing themselves among millions of other contenders.

i feel that there is a sense of desperation in people who advertise that their hearts are not coupled with other hearts, and then proceed to describe themselves in a way that is like a specification sheet in order to even join the torrent of miscellaneous other souls who are all feeling lonely, and not in a communal way.

i have never felt incomplete in my sense of presence and vitality. i have a set of lungs to oxygenate me and a brain and a viable heart and everything else i need to live my life through, and so i consider what i personally am to be complete (with respect to my navigability through the events in my life).

i have never felt lonely. i can not feel the presence of other people in any other way than sensorily. i can see them, and i can hear them and i can smell them and i can recompute my intended route of travel through a situation that contains other people. but i can not feel them.
they are like animations that can be cut short with a severence of my attention.

i have very little interest in feelings but i do understand that my sterile realm of consideration will not nourish weeds that may propagate in it's cracks, but i just think that those who rejoice in being relieved that they are themselves are the luckiest of all. people who are plugged into someone else in order to "complete the circuit" are circuitously inadequate in my mind.

i am a closed circuit.

I read your profile and all the guys profiles but honestly, I don't know how a woman would rate them. That is why I did not comment. You did not misinterpret the intent of the thread.

Quick feedback:

Delete the bit about an intense fear of dogs. why you would mention this at all on a dating profile meant to attract others is beyond me.. especially mentioning it first. It's just strange & likely to set off some alarm bells for whoever's reading it. I prefer to think of my comments as brutal honesty vs. harsh.

Omit the part about living with your parents. Maybe mention that in conversation if it comes up. Otherwise don't mention it at all. Especially not on your profile. People tend to be attracted to independent financially stable people that can be providers, not people living with their parents. FYI for financial reasons I live at my parents' place right now, but I certainly wouldn't advertise it on a dating profile. I'd just post a simple profile and go meet dates in public, or have them over when I have the house to myself etc.

The video game obsession is pretty obvious. Tone it down a little.. or a lot. I'd delete the comment about thinking about making money making video game related videos on youtube. Go ahead and do that to your gamer heart's content, but posting it on a dating profile is not going to get you any messages or dates. It's likely a major turnoff to the vast majority of people reading your profile. I'd delete it if I were you. Less is more, especially when it comes to geeky obsessions and special interests.

I'm guilty of this one sometimes, but I'm getting better at it myself: Try using capital letters wherever you're supposed to. Start every sentence with one. Especially capitalize anytime you say "I," as well. Capitalize things consistently, ie the lists of things you've listed. Some start with capitals, others don't. Consistency is a good thing. Changing your use of capitals shows laziness. Also, writing in all lower case, especially when referring to yourself as "i," vs, "I" (which I see you haven't done, I'm just saying.) shows a lack of self confidence.

Otherwise you could use a little punctuation. Like periods at the ends of sentences, mainly.

One other thing that stuck out as odd is listing "Pepsi One," as one of the six things you couldn't live without. Even if you're serious, I wouldn't list that on a dating profile if I were you. It just helps reinforce the stereotype of a gamer living at home with his parents and not actively participating in the world, work, socializing etc.

Harsh feedback? Maybe. But I think it's all pretty constructive if you'd care to take it into consideration. I bet if you made a bunch of these changes and omissions from your profile you'd get more messages, which is the whole point.

the most efficient way to not comment, is to not comment.
everything that transpires from a simple comment incites further comments that themselves can be seen as injudicious. i really can not be bothered with it.
i never talk to anyone in real life because i know that they would disagree with my idea that selfism is the best way to assurance.

They have a five star thing on the website, I use it to point out to women that they wrote a nice profile and I'm interested. Usually because I don't pay money and they have full inboxes xD

I think they get a "he likes you" notification when that happens but dont get to actually see their rating.

Hale-bop.
I'm sorry that others and I misinterpreted the thread at first. Thank you very much for posting it and sorry for going into so much detail with my critique. I think it was, however, a great idea and props to you for starting it!

this kind of frustrating miscommunication reminds me why i love us aspies

Majora's Mask is an overlooked game. One of my favourites. Great atmosphere. The only one where I got all the hearts

As for the profile, my opinion is probably worse than useless. Especially as mine is half-ironic.

After reading Hale_Bopp's profile - why she doesn't have a boyfriend at this point is beyond belief. It is a great profile. She's career minded, intelligent, has many different interests...I just don't get it. Perhaps she is too picky?

Yeah, my guess is she won't go out with you.

Nor with you!

My plan: when Hezbollah kill you I will take over your identity in a little catfish manoeuvre.

She'd probably go out with me, though. Too bad for her I'm gay. Isn't that always the way??

I literally squirted Dr. Pepper out of my nose from laughing so hard. I mean that's mean, but .. yeah. Sorry.

My brain hurts now.

Relax, she wouldn't date you either.