Women SAY they want nice guys ...

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There's absolutely nothing strange or contradicting about the man she described. My ex was very much like that and we had a beautiful relationship together. I am looking for the same features in a man as well.

Kind, compassionate and respectful doesn't mean one couldn't have strength of character as well. Also my father is a very successful business man and very decisive with life and work, but he is also the nicest and most respectful person one can imagine. He's a very liked and respected person in his field and much loved by the whole family.

I think it takes strength to be kind and I can't see why you can't be sensitive and decisive and strong at the same time. It confuses me why people would think otherwise.

I am not sure, why people mismention being an a**hole all the time with being confident/strong.

Aggressivitiy or stuborness is no sign of confidence, but rather the opposite. Its being afraid of giving in to someone. Its being afraid of discussions, because of someone thinking as an discussion of oppinion about an battle to loose or win self esteem, instead of simply an exchange of information to finde an solution that fit boths.

Do you think Ghandi was a weak person without confidence, only because of him being an idol of patience and respect toward others?

You dont need to shout or scream around violantly to stand up. You simply need to stand up.

I like this, well said

You don't need a man to do these things, you should not rely on men in such a fashion.

I firmly believe the biggest dating obstical people on the spectrum face isn't social skills but black and white thinking. The kind of mindest that convinces a person they either need to be a "super assertive a**hole" or a "complete doormat" and that there's no middleground between the two.

There's nothing contradictory or unreasonable about Halfmadgenius's expectations.

Yes, I totally agree.

No where are they quoted as saying they need anything. They have just stated qualities they would like in a man. They 'should' do what ever they like.

Yup.

Guys, no one is saying "don't be a nice guy." Also, no one is saying "being an arrogant as*hole." We're just saying that being nice is the absolute bare MINIMUM that is expected of someone who wants to be in a relationship. If that's all you're willing to bring to the relationship table, all you are going to attract is a woman with the bare minimum to offer YOU.

If you're perfectly happy to attract only that kind of woman - let's call her the female equivalent of the NiceGuyTM (think the scrawny [or fat] awkward one with acne and braces that all your buds made fun of in middle school/high school BUT SHE HAS A NICE PERSONALITY), then sure, all you need to do is be nice. If you want to attract someone who is more attractive TO YOU, then you will have to make yourself into a more attractive person by adding additional dimensions to yourself. Not INSTEAD of being nice, but IN ADDITION TO being nice.

It's that simple.

Hint: many of those female equivalents of the NiceGuyTM spend their 20s transforming themselves into confident, attractive women, having started out with no more native talent than you possess. By the time they're 26 or 27, they've made a substantial and successful effort to become a more desirable partner. When you or one of your buddies who used to make fun of her in school show up at the same church, or club, or party, you won't recognize her as that scrawny/fat awkward shy girl with acne and braces from school, but I can guarantee she will recognize you and your buddies, and she won't give you the time of day.

I'd argue what she SHOULD do is learn to squash her indecisive bouts. When a woman says things like "I want a man to be strong for me when things get all scary and hard" without following it with "And likewise I wanna be strong when things get all scary and hard for him", it just makes women seem weak, which is nothing but fodder for MRA-style BS.

Why would you assume this person is a jerk just because they're talented and confident?

TRUTH! ^

Let's call it the "Attractiveness Spectrum".

In the negative zone are the whiners, the complainers, the black-and-white thinkers, the stalkers, the slobs, the bigots, the manipulators, the psychopaths and the PUAs.

At the zero point, you have a person with no personality at all -- they may as well be brain-dead. One step above that is the man who is a "Nice Guy" or the the woman with the "Great Personality". This can easily be negated when such people carry on about how nice they are, yet they can not get a first or second date -- they are "Virtual Zeros" on this scale.

At the extreme positive maximum, you have a person who seems to have everything -- talent, good looks, wealth, fame, confidence, manners, fashionable clothes and good hygiene -- the "Perfect 10".

Most of us seem to fall somewhere in the middle of the positive region -- we're decent enough, but not perfect by any measure.

Again, no one is saying, "Don't be nice"; instead, we're saying "Being nice is only the beginning". You have to be more than just "Nice"; you have to have more than just a "Great Personality"; You have to be interesting (in a positive way) before people will be interested in you, that's all.

You can argue till your blue in the face as to what she should do. What she will do is up to her.
I think you might benefit from the words of wisdom from Geekonychus, Lilya, Eureka13 and Fnord,

*Shrug* Of course it's up to her, who said otherwise? You seem to have a major problem with me offering my opinion. I can recommend against using men (or people) as a crutch, in any circumstances.

As it were, I'm in little need of advice, I've spent enough time regaling the forums with my dating misadventures.

the common NT woman model is
- have responsible, faithful (dull) man to marry, have kids with, provide for her and her kids
- have some flings with alpha male types when fertile, to get some alpha male kids into the gene pool of the tribe

The wise man learns to combine the best properties of both of these men. You act as if being responsible and exciting are mutually-exclusive. You're projecting.