Why is "forever" always supposed to be the goal?

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I think we can conclude that: some people are capable of very-long-term commitment, and some aren't. Neither is right or wrong as long as everyone involved is 'on the same page'.

But we probably already knew this.

Yet every person who ever tried to make a marriage last did fail?
Life is a road where some people choose different paths, whether you like it our not.

I do not see anything wrong with it.

I view it as yet another cultural "should" that I give due consideration in determining what works best for me, but little more than that.

I was just trying to add balance to the story so far.



I like this point of view. It has a nice elegant boolean logic to it. Black and white. Then again, why do people go on such short vacations if their destination is so wonderful and amazing? Why so many one-night-stands? It's the high of not just a good thing, but a great thing. It may run out, or it may burn you out.


Unfortunately, both people rarely want to separate at the same time. A relationship isn't a thing of it's own, it's a figment that exists differently within two separate imaginations. It would be great in an ideal world, but the world isn't ideal. Just as a business or corporation isn't an individual, it is run by humans, and humans are solely responsible for the company's activities.


Preparation, systematization, measurement, and plenty of self control. Ingredients for success in everything.

Breakups feel bad because of the emotional and mental investment and expectation that the situation will continue. Most people hate having their routines broken, not just autistics.

I think you misunderstand though what some of us were trying to say. Also, you are very young and have to experience life in your own way and reach your own conclusions. I totally fail to see how Communism came into this conversation. I was saying that expectation of a relationship lasting forever is because people combine their whole lives which includes a lot of economic considerations. They want the relationships to endure because they have invested so much into it, not just emotionally but financially as well. Lets talk when you've had to go through a whole dividing of assets and children thing after the relationship breaks down. Some people stay in loveless marriages purely because it would economically destroy them to go their separate ways.

Also, people's priorities change as they go through life. Like, say you are 24 years old, meet a girl of your dreams, you're both virgins, you fall in love, it's crazy, you are happy, you get married and she gets pregnant with one than two than three babies. By the time you are 33 you've got three children under the age of 10, a mortgage, tons of bills you cannot afford to pay because your salary is not enough to support your whole family and while you love them all dearly, every day you dream about slipping away quietly never to be heard of again. But you don't. Because you have made a commitment and you feel a sense of duty to be there and so you stay and try and make the best of it and babies 4 and 5 come along and somehow, you just keep going. IDK, maybe that is love, after all.

I don't understand what you are trying to say and how it relates to what I said. Can you rephrase?

The answer to your question is of course "no", not all marriages fail. But if they do, that doesn't necessarily mean the relationship was failure, just the marriage.

Perhaps I am just over-reacting to all the boohooers around here.

Having more kids than you want/can handle (if you want any at all) is a matter of responsibility (or lack thereof), not something necessitated by being in a long term relationship/marriage. Have zero kids if you don't want any, there is no obligation at all to have kids in a relationship of any length.

I am starting to wonder, esp where women are concerned, if its in their nature that once they breed with a male, they insure better odds of their children surviving by wanting other males as well so to spread out and diversify their gen pool with children from different men. and thats why women gets board with their mates so quickly.

incorrect. My story was based on someone who is a devout Christian and whose religious beliefs include duty of procreation and not using birth control. Most people expect to have children.

it is the other way around. For women it is better to keep one high quality male around long term because men are more likely to want to invest in their own children. Males have a higher sex drive to nesting drive which biologists tend to attribute to gene differsification.

Based on that right there, you must actually take the stereotype of a traditional Christian seriously.

I have a friend, he is african-american. He has the best sense of humor, watches as much anime
as aspieotaku, yet prays at every meal, even over a bowl of ramen. He will go on and on about
how awesome Bleach (anime) is, the second Sui Fon kicks the 4th squad liutennant, he will
start swearing saying "That is some BS!" He truly speaks his mind. He got in trouble
at tech school for saying "Jesus will kick the devils ass!" because it got into a fight.
Yet he will then just start watching anime again or go play some basketball.
He was very, vocal. But he was awesome, I hope to see him again!

Any ways, there are tons of different people within the Christian belief,
so one can naturally assume a stereotype isn't very accurate, even for a Religion.
Why would God want people to be so boring?

I am not at all religious, i was talking about another person. And they are very religious. Anyway even non religious people seem to want to have a marriage and children as something expected with their lives.

As for why God wants people to be boring? LOL! Good question. Ask a Rabi.

It was a rhetorical question. Of course he doesn't.

So your story revolved around pretending we were a very specific preconceived, irresponsible character who can't stop having kids - and then pin that irresponsibility on the concept of marriage itself? If not, why was this story told? What is it sharing that is specific to marriage, rather than specific to irresponsible behaviour? It seems as if it was 'sold' under the guise of being a point against marriage, but it's really just a point against being stupid.

Hitler was married, too - it doesn't mean marriage and genocide have anything to do with each other. If you have half of a brain and understand consequences of actions, and that having more kids when you can't even deal with the ones who have is a bad idea, then you're not going to have the issues described in your story just because you got married.

Why forever? well, when those hormones (chemistry) and the like kicks in and you feel in bliss, a part of you wants it to last forever, it feels right, it feels perfect, you don't want it to end., Nature done this to us, its a natural high.