Girls, how strict are you when it comes to looks?

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Agreed. He's too much of a pretty boy for me.

The "Get him some lip balm!"....the disgusted smiley, this is all exaggerated expression.

Fine, he's not your type, it's the bashing his facial features that I don't understand.

It's like as if a man is bashing a woman's looks (regardless if she's conventionally beautiful or not) because "ewww, her boobs aren't perfectly symmetrical, someone get her a lift " or if she's asian "her eyes are too small, someone get her a stretching tool eew: ".

His "flaky" dry lips are typically Arabian btw, the guy is a desert born after all. Note that one would sound even more jerk when he or she harshly bashes an ethnicity-specific physical feature.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 18 Mar 2014, 4:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OMG we are women, did you expect ten pages of 'I'd bang him!'?

You present someone as TOO SEXY and people come over and tell you - hang on, that chap is not doing it for me. No need to take it personally. You don't have to identify with other Arabs, you are you own Arab

This not how she said it at all. And no, I didn't expect anything.



And yes, lips type (Dry vs wet) is a very very minor physical trait, someone being that picky about it must be extraordinarily and abnormally shallow, not just within the normal level of shallowness, in a lot of other physical traits/areas - this is a pure logical thinking.

Nope, there's a biological/evolutionary basis for it. Men go for looks (which translates evolutionarily-speaking to "healthy" for the purpose of providing lots of offspring), and women go for power (which translates evolutionarily speaking to "able to protect me and the offspring").

I would posit that modern women are in a transition period of realigning their priorities when it comes to a mate. Since most women (at least in the western world) are fully able to support themselves and their children, younger women may well be more interested in looks than in power. In my generation, there was still a lot of societal pressure (in addition to the evolutionary pressure) for women to choose men who were capable of "taking care of them." Modern society's emphasis on beauty above all else may well be infecting the younger generations of women with the same propensity to choose for looks, at least in their casual relationships. When it comes down to marriage, however, I bet most of them will succumb to the evolutionary pressure of wanting "a good provider" vs. a pretty boy.

There's a question on OKC about, all else being equal, which would you choose in a partner: a) attractive and kind, b) attractive and smart, or c) kind and smart. My answer is c), but I have yet to come across a male who chose c) as their answer.

Because you want to sound less shallow, there's this societal thing/pressure that makes women less likely to admit those things directly (yet their instant reactions say otherwise) - I bet when it comes down to it, what you really want is "attractive, kind and smart". You said earlier you have to find him attractive too.

Also the term "attractive" is more broad and subjective than "handsome/hot", it's not entirely beauty-specific.

here's something to ponder:

i've met men before whose faces didn't make much of an impression on me one way or the other at first, their countenances seemed plain, unremarkable. but then, as i got to know those men, and became aware of their wonderful personalities, their faces started to look different to me--each time i saw them, they seemed more and more attractive to me, because i knew the person inside them better, and i liked that person....so what i saw when i looked at them reflected that. these are the men that, when asked today, i would say were the attractive ones that i have known.

i've met other men who were very striking and attractive at first, aesthetically pleasing and symmetrical features and all that. but then, as i got to know those men, and became aware of their awful personalities, their faces started to look different to me--each time i saw them, they seemed less and less attractive to me, because i knew the person inside them better, and i didn't like that person at all....so what i saw when i looked at them reflected that. these are the men that, when asked today, i would say were the unattractive ones that i have known.

physicality is meaningless. it really is what's inside that counts.

While looks are not the most important thing I'd be lying if I said they don't matter. A guy doesn't have to be Brad Pitt but he does have to be clean and a reasonable weight. If a man weighs 350 and had to use a scooter in Walmart I am not going to respect him, much less get physical. Nope, not happening.

And if he has hair every where but his head to that's just gross looking and texturally disturbing. Bald or buzz cut heads have always scared me and body hair has an unpleasant texture. I can tolerate sparse amounts but prefer a smooth body.

But as long as he is a healthy weight with full head of hair and clean shaved then I'll give him a chance to wow me with his brain and personality.

Precisely. I met my late fiance through an online dating site. His picture did not do that much for me, other than he looked reasonably healthy, but his profile sounded amazing. We chatted via email for a couple weeks, talked on the phone daily for about five days (we lived 160 miles apart), then we finally met in person. Honestly, I thought he was kind of funny-looking (his photos showed him as better-looking than he was in person), but his personality shone through even more in person than online or on the phone, and it didn't take long before I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. Still do. In fact, I think every man should look *exactly* like him!

One personality trait I could never put up with, no matter how good-looking the guy, is someone telling me they know how I think better than I know how I think.

This seems relevant to the topic:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your- ... ne-dating/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physiognomy

Thin lips = mean countenance

thin upper lip = tight with money


Who gets to decide what is shallow? Sure, those who can't swim can drown in 2 inches of water, but it doesn't make it shallow for everyone.

If you have met any women in your life you will know that each is a mysterious and complicated creature difficult to decipher. And definitely not fond of being lectured by young upstarts.

I thought the man had nice eyes,I didn't notice his lips were dry,nothing a Chapstick wouldn't cure.I think that wearing eyeliner has something to do with the glare from they sun.Isn't that why football players put those black marks under their eyes?

Dude looks like a lady.
Seriously, take away the ffacial hair and he looks like a woman. No thanks. I am all about some androgynous guys but he is a bit too much of a pretty boy.

Am I the only one who thought the pictures were reversed? I thought the second "middle" picture was far and away the most attractive.

I thought the "high" and "middle" rated women were equally attractive. I actually thought the "middle" rated men were better looking than the "high" rated men.

Of course, they're all so danged young, that could have something to do with my perception.