Were does all the hate in this sub-forum come from?

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Not everybody fits the Gender Binary. Get over it!

The hate is coming from people who haven't been laid in a while & aren't celibate by choice.

Mystery solved.

Eh, it's a combination of poor communication skills combined with bitterness, bad faith, hair trigger vitriol, and, lets face it, functional impairment and learning disabilities.

I think more people should be aware of those last two, several of the members that stir up the most trouble in this forum (intentionally or not, or a combination) either admit to or clearly have functioning issues beyond just AS, and I think that should be taken into account by people before flying off the handle at some of the things they say. I liken it to being around someone who occasionally has seizures; yes it hurts when they smack you, no, you don't have to put up with it, but is hitting them back really the best option?

Because This forum is full of the following:

Bitter whiners
Sexists
Man/Woman haters
a***holes
w*kers
and idiots.

We all just need to choose a category

I think I am the source of all the hate I do feel hated and I am truly sorry for my immature behavior!

Posting without reading the thread fully. It's because Alex, who owns the site, has apparently directed moderators not to moderate sexist remarks, but instead wants to let people "look ignorant", whatever that may do to the emotional tone and nature of the site. I've emailed him about it and had no reply, so I can't tell you whether or not that really is his intent. I'd prefer not to think that Alex is that thick or deliberate a sexist himself, but maybe he is, I don't know.

Anyway, there's at least one mod who'd be happy to do the modding job if allowed.

I still feel that fools will be exposed without resort to action. They will be seen as being ridiculous. Action provides ammunition for the fools. It's like "feeding the troll."

So the solution would be to create a Men Vs. Women thread and all the gender bashing can go on there...but then that would probably be the only active thread on this sub-forum.

I just can't understand why everything has to be a war. I mean people come on here with questions that are pretty important to them and within a few posts the thread migrates to the same old men v women bs, meanwhile the original posters never get their question answered-- or worse get mocked and put down. To be honest, it's about the most unproductive forum I've ever witnessed. Even the religion and politics sub-forum has more respect than this one.

no, the solution would be to have the moderators treat sexist comments the same way they do racist, homophobic, and threatening/violent comments--by removing them. as it is now, they are not allowed to do that because they have explicitly been told not to by alex.

Well, outside of WP, it's not like the world is lacking in gender rancour. Throw in the various complications of AS, and it's pretty mch to be expected.

They're not though. It's not the one trollish poster who says something sexist - that is, generally misogynistic - who is then ignored or rounded on. It's that their point is then bolstered by many. It is perhaps helpful to 'expose the fool' when there is a consensus on what constitutes 'being a 'fool'. If one is going to have something other than a free-for-all flame war or crude ignorance or trolling - and in other areas WP rules provide for actions against such in terms of race or sexuality - then one needs standards. An enforced rule that said, 'no sexist language or arguments' would be a good thing. Does it ruin your day to not read sexist language or arguments? Are you concerned about ruining the day of a WP member who otherwise would like to write such things? Cos both those are a 'no' for me, same as I'm not concerned about the racist and homophobic members of WP who somehow feel their ability and inclination to express such sentiments on here is hampered.

Putting a dampener on the day of the more sexist members is far preferable to having female (and many male) members having to wade through sexist, misogynist BS, either feeling the need to argue back (pointless) or to ignore it (letting the sexist and their fan club go unchallenged).

I think a lot people in this thread are confusing frustration for hate, if these people (which I include myself) hated women, there will be no desire whatsoever to want to be near them.

Kind of life how race debates degenerate into everyone being labeled a racist. Simply calling someone a woman-hater is just a cop-out, it's trying to paint something that is grey as simple black and white, someone frustrated with women is frustrated because they want to have a woman's affection. Multiple rejections over along period of time leads to frustration, which might lead to comments that appear as misogynist, but if any person really hated women there would be no desire to try and court them.

And it's important to keep in mind that a lot of these guys have been dealt a tremendous amount of rejections over the course of their lives, trying to call them out out on their bitterness is like trying to blame someone for developing a scab over a wound, it's just a part of being human. A person might be able to hide their bitterness in the best of this scenario but it's still there because that's what makes us human. Rejections hurt, -A LOT- of rejections hurt a lot, and that grief is going to manifest in one form or another, it's just a part of what makes us human.

Right, as far as I know. So then the question is: Why is Alex looking the other way when it comes to misogyny and sexism? Why the special treatment?

Ok I hear what you are saying and I can understand that perspective, however sex clouds things. There are some men that hate women, but they want one because they are sexually attracted to women and they want someone to have sex with. They try and court them so that they can achieve that goal of having sex with them.

Yes, I know, I am queen cynic, but how do you tell who is sincere and who is not? I have no idea.

-- and at that point the thing to do is to catch oneself saying such things and stop, recognizing that the problem is not "women" but some combination of oneself and particular women, and if one cannot stop, then the mods ought to step in and do the favor. Why? Because one shares the world with other people, some of whom are women, who should not have to put up with completely undeserved bile aimed at them simply for showing up female. And who deal with sexism, discrimination, and maltreatment on a regular basis for being female anyway, and should especially not have to deal with it in a supposedly friendly forum.

And it's extraordinary, but after a while, when you get used to catching yourself before spewing misogyny around, it starts to sound really rude and awful when other people do it. Because it is.

Apart from which, the idea that a misogynist won't want to f**k women or find them attractive -- this is simply wrong. There are many guys who are genuinely contemptuous and resentful of women and find great pleasure in chasing and nailing them. It's viewed as a conquest, another way of reducing people to objects and inferiors.

(I'm hoping we can skip the parallel "I can't be racist, I have black friends" embarrassment.)

I don't think these ones are the ones complaining they're not trying to court women through genuine means in the first place, if all that they want is sex, then they're going to work the guile to deceive them, they're not going to spend time in a forum complaining, they're going to discover how the game is played and mimic the things that would best deceive her, he has no problem with this after all, it's just sex that he wants.