Why can't I find someone who isn't heartless?

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Café au lait:

You have lots going for you. You're going to get a Master's in psychology quite soon.

I think you'll, eventually, be all right when it comes to obtaining a life partner.

I'm actually of the opinion that approximately age 30 is an ideal time to get married and have kids.

Unless, of course, you meet Mr. Right before then. I've heard of people who met Mr. Right early in their childhood.

I would just try to have fun and have substantive, meaningful friendships. Perhaps one of those friendships will turn to romance.

I am of the strong opinion that one "must let it happen," and not force the issue.

Even at age 53, even though I'm married, I still don't feel that I've met Ms. Right yet.

This ´women are mean´, ´women are heartbreaks´ attitude, it won't get you no where.

I've gotten my heart broken twice by men I loved. The first one, I felt like he would just want to see me for the physical aspect. All of a sudden he would bail out of dates we had set for weeks. It really hurt me at the time. The second guy, an aspie, I always took the initiative to set up dates, to make each other meet and he never took the initiave back. NEVER. I felt like I was supportive, warm, sweet, attentive, nurturing and he didn't want a relationship with me. In the end, I called it a quits. I did feel hurt, because with all the efforts I made for him, he still didn't want a relationship with me. He said: 'it's not you, I'm just at a hard time in my life right now'. I don't believe those excuses.
Now, more and more I am starting to realize that it wasn't ME, but that these guys were just not boyfriend material. That perhaps there was nothing wrong with me, but with them. But that doesn't mean all men are like that. I made the wrong choiches and there are probably a lot more suitable mates for me that would want to make me their girlfriend and have a commited relationship with me. To appreciate me, treat me like gold, and realize how lucky they are to have such a smart, beautiful, caring, witty and goofy woman.

I dont think im fit to have children yet I can barely take care of myself and have issues trusting other people to get to the point of gaining the trust to make children. I would be worried my kids would see as a loser dad.

Trust yourself. Take small steps to take responsability for yourself. Build on these things, slowly, and more and more you will become trust-worthy and you'll trust yourself.

You've been hurt, so has everybody else. But you need to realize it's not personal. All people do things for THEMSELVES in relation to other people. In the process of them doing things for THEMSELVES. they do things TO you. It's never personal, even if they tell you that it is - it's not.

That's one way of thinking about it.

Nonsensible is actually a word (even though its definition is slightly different from nonsensical and its usage is archaic).


" Sence" is not a word, archaic or otherwise.


Let's try to keep this discussion civil.

It took me almost 3 decades to learn exactly how sh***y some women can be. I can thank my ex-roommate for that. But even still, most of them seem to be out to get the decent guys in whatever way they can (note: not in the good way). Maybe not intentionally, but it sure seems like it. I learned to hold my head up, shrug, and continue on without 'em. It works for me.

All these people talking about "I had my heart broken, blah blah blah but they're innocent until proven guilty lolz" have NOT been through the type of soul-shattering s**t that people like me and AO have been through. I can tell you that right now. I've been hit, jumped by groups of 6 or more, sexually assaulted, had my name dragged through the mud (which is even now affecting me, 10 years later), and so, so, SO many other terrible experiences in 27 years that I can't even begin to fathom why others think I should get back into dating. And the worst part is, none of these things were done to me by men, the ones you would maybe expect to jump you, at least. Only women.

And this whole "people have radar" thing needs to stop too. It is such BS.

Really, the only women I need in my life are my best friend, my mom, and my sister. No one else is worth the time of day to me.