Why do girls stop messaging me? Need advice
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 44
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Quote:
Why do girls stop messaging me? Need advice
And there's a more simple explanation to that: because their lives change.
Eventually, you don't eternally message people you would never meet, I realized that I stopped messaging every online 'buddy' in the past out there because ....well...it eventually goes to the point where it's pointless.
I don't believe in online 'friendship' as well.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes, this.
More parallels:
Profile = Resume
First message (that women demand it to be "attentive" and "unique") = Job Cover letter
Women ignoring message = screening out
positively replying = screening in
Date = Job Interview
Silence after date 1 = employer's silence after interview 1
Accepting/Suggesting date 2 = 2nd interview.
Silence after few dates while all interaction was ok = employer found a better candidate
The only thing I can't find a parallel for it is the pay thing, candidates usually don't pay for the cookies or whatever in the interview, women beat employers at that! A fee for the 'interview'!
More parallels:
Profile = Resume
First message (that women demand it to be "attentive" and "unique") = Job Cover letter
Women ignoring message = screening out
positively replying = screening in
Date = Job Interview
Silence after date 1 = employer's silence after interview 1
Accepting/Suggesting date 2 = 2nd interview.
Silence after few dates while all interaction was ok = employer found a better candidate
The only thing I can't find a parallel for it is the pay thing, candidates usually don't pay for the cookies or whatever in the interview, women beat employers at that! A fee for the 'interview'!
I love this analogy and based on my experiences it was SOOOO true. Just like real life employers, online women still continue to make the wrong decisions over and over despite the 'abundance' of candidates. Whether that is a statement about how poor quality most men are or that the poor judgment of women is another debate. For what its worth, my GF told me that most guys online look and acted downright dangerous.
Amazes me how where I live, even with a flood of candidates and the incredible amount of money they spend recruiting my (major) employer continues to pick absolutely terrible employees and managers. Just like with a job search, looking at the job board is important but that doesn't change the fact it is by far the worst way to go on its own. I did meet my love on eHarmony but we would have met on Meetup anyway.
androbot01 wrote:
Sorry to cut and paste your post, but ... I am in the position of being attracted to someone I met at work. I have gotten a new job and won't see him anymore. But I think we kind of hit it off. So... what is the appropriate way for a women to ask a guy out?
Ask him whether he has a girlfriend when you talk to him.
androbot01
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Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
Vomelche wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
Sorry to cut and paste your post, but ... I am in the position of being attracted to someone I met at work. I have gotten a new job and won't see him anymore. But I think we kind of hit it off. So... what is the appropriate way for a women to ask a guy out?
Ask him whether he has a girlfriend when you talk to him.
Good idea! Thanks!
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes, this.
More parallels:
Profile = Resume
First message (that women demand it to be "attentive" and "unique") = Job Cover letter
Women ignoring message = screening out
positively replying = screening in
Date = Job Interview
Silence after date 1 = employer's silence after interview 1
Accepting/Suggesting date 2 = 2nd interview.
Silence after few dates while all interaction was ok = employer found a better candidate
The only thing I can't find a parallel for it is the pay thing, candidates usually don't pay for the cookies or whatever in the interview, women beat employers at that! A fee for the 'interview'!
More parallels:
Profile = Resume
First message (that women demand it to be "attentive" and "unique") = Job Cover letter
Women ignoring message = screening out
positively replying = screening in
Date = Job Interview
Silence after date 1 = employer's silence after interview 1
Accepting/Suggesting date 2 = 2nd interview.
Silence after few dates while all interaction was ok = employer found a better candidate
The only thing I can't find a parallel for it is the pay thing, candidates usually don't pay for the cookies or whatever in the interview, women beat employers at that! A fee for the 'interview'!
I love this analogy and based on my experiences it was SOOOO true. Just like real life employers, online women still continue to make the wrong decisions over and over despite the 'abundance' of candidates. Whether that is a statement about how poor quality most men are or that the poor judgment of women is another debate. For what its worth, my GF told me that most guys online look and acted downright dangerous.
Amazes me how where I live, even with a flood of candidates and the incredible amount of money they spend recruiting my (major) employer continues to pick absolutely terrible employees and managers. Just like with a job search, looking at the job board is important but that doesn't change the fact it is by far the worst way to go on its own. I did meet my love on eHarmony but we would have met on Meetup anyway.
To be more accurate:
Man's Profile = Resume
Woman's Profile = Job posting
Women even sound like employers in their profiles - Be this, be that, don't be that, don't do that, don't apply if this or that...bla bla bla.
Hell, they even sound like employers in their boasting about their international exposure, Employers say something like: "We are an international company in more than 20 countries" = Women in dating sites: "I have traveled to more than 20 countries! From Atlantic to the Pacific!! France, Italy, Indonesia...bla bla..."
and you wonder why they dominate the HR recruitment industry? Ha! It's in their blood!
Here, now the analogy is complete.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hell, they even sound like employers in their boasting about their international exposure, Employers say something like: "We are an international company in more than 20 countries" = Women in dating sites: "I have traveled to more than 20 countries! From Atlantic to the Pacific!! France, Italy, Indonesia...bla bla..."
I think there's an important difference, though: the former emphasizes the opportunities the company might offer you, whereas the latter is more like, "If you're a poor, illiterate country bumpkin who has never been a hundred kilometres away from the village he was born in, just forget about me!".
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The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Spiderpig wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hell, they even sound like employers in their boasting about their international exposure, Employers say something like: "We are an international company in more than 20 countries" = Women in dating sites: "I have traveled to more than 20 countries! From Atlantic to the Pacific!! France, Italy, Indonesia...bla bla..."
I think there's an important difference, though: the former emphasizes the opportunities the company might offer you, whereas the latter is more like, "If you're a poor, illiterate country bumpkin who has never been a hundred kilometres away from the village he was born in, just forget about me!".
There's a site called MissTravel.com - it's for women who wanna Sugar daddies to pay for their travels.
Nauseating.
And oh, btw.... she's taller than him! Taller than him!!
She loves him for him!
yeah, right.
The sites claims to have 500,382 members and had 324,830 trips created.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
darkphantomx1 wrote:
So iv'e been going to this popular forum site for the past month or so and iv'e been messaging around 3 or 4 girls at some different time.
I try talking to them, I try asking questions, I try to keep the conversation going but they all eventually stop replying back and just quit talking to me. It's frustrating because I don't know what i'm doing wrong.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I try talking to them, I try asking questions, I try to keep the conversation going but they all eventually stop replying back and just quit talking to me. It's frustrating because I don't know what i'm doing wrong.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I don't know about other girls, but I usually don't reply if I don't know what to say. Sometimes I don't reply because I don't feel like it. Conversations can sometimes be too much for me. Sometimes people ask questions that bother me, or I avoid someone because they seem creepy or they're annoying the hell out of me.... O don't think I helped you much. I'm sorry.
goofygoobers wrote:
I don't know about other girls, but I usually don't reply if I don't know what to say. Sometimes I don't reply because I don't feel like it. Conversations can sometimes be too much for me.
Well I would definitely understand this. A girl initially messaged me on Tinder showing interest in me but I stopped replying back because I got afraid that she wanted to meet up and I get bad social anxiety about this stuff. I felt pretty bad about ghosting her honestly.
Come September when all the college kids are in town and i'm out of my parents house, I will be taking Tinder and dating more seriously.
