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"You'll find love when you stop looking for it."

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marshall
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09 Mar 2016, 9:42 pm

androbot01 wrote:
marshall wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
marshall wrote:
If the experience was identical you would have the same number and type of complaints coming from both men and women here. The reality is there are differences.

Maybe women just don't complain about it as much? See, I can see differences.

You can't see how that is sexist? You jump to a blanket character judgment instead of asking "why?".

I can come up with a few couple of answers: men don't have any other outlets? men's pain is worse because there is a greater expectation of them? Perhaps you could tell me.

Anyway, it is a blanket judgment and I don't actually believe it. Just my way of saying that I do recognize differences in the way men and women experience things because of their gender. But it doesn't mean my advice would be any different.

What if I told you your advice (i.e. give up) just isn't appreciated and others find it annoying? Why not just stop.



marshall
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09 Mar 2016, 9:54 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm not discounting other people's experience. How could I? I don't experience them exactly, though I do approximately.

It's not you. It's androbot01 with her constant crap. If I knew I had to be as alone and miserable as I felt the past few years for the rest of my life I would just end it. I don't give a s**t what androbot01 thinks. She clearly only thinks about herself when giving "advice".



androbot01
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09 Mar 2016, 10:05 pm

marshall wrote:
What if I told you your advice (i.e. give up) just isn't appreciated and others find it annoying? Why not just stop.
Giving up is not what I'm advising. Rather, the opposite. I'm sorry I'm annoying you, but I'm still going to say what I think. Why not stop bullying me?

marshall wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm not discounting other people's experience. How could I? I don't experience them exactly, though I do approximately.

It's not you. It's androbot01 with her constant crap. If I knew I had to be as alone and miserable as I felt the past few years for the rest of my life I would just end it. I don't give a s**t what androbot01 thinks. She clearly only thinks about herself when giving "advice".

So you think I should end it? That's nice advice; I appreciate you thinking of me.



Feyokien
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09 Mar 2016, 10:14 pm

VegetableMan wrote:
It's true -- and it applies to anything! For instance, I spent an hour looking for my car keys, yesterday. I finally gave up an decided to finish my dinner. Low an behold, there they were in my soup!


:lmao:

I lost my car keys 10 minutes before I had to go to work one time in highschool. I looked for them on and off again for days and then finally gave up. Two years later I was walking around my backyard. Low an behold, I found them randomly in a depressed pit where there used to be a well. I had gone outside that day 2 years back to get my dads stubborn dog inside.

Works every time 8)

The conditions for people finding love are varied, there is no universal approach to it.



kraftiekortie
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09 Mar 2016, 10:15 pm

I really like your avatar, Ann.

I hope you become as happy as that woman.

And never think about ending it all.

Just think about dancing.



marshall
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09 Mar 2016, 10:17 pm

androbot01 wrote:
marshall wrote:
What if I told you your advice (i.e. give up) just isn't appreciated and others find it annoying? Why not just stop.
Giving up is not what I'm advising. Rather, the opposite. I'm sorry I'm annoying you, but I'm still going to say what I think. Why not stop bullying me?

I'm not "bullying". "Bullying" is when you try to mess with someone out of sadistic pleasure. I'm not doing that. I'm not feeling any pleasure from this. Therefore I'm not "bullying". I'm telling you your advice is annoying and offensive.

Quote:
marshall wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm not discounting other people's experience. How could I? I don't experience them exactly, though I do approximately.

It's not you. It's androbot01 with her constant crap. If I knew I had to be as alone and miserable as I felt the past few years for the rest of my life I would just end it. I don't give a s**t what androbot01 thinks. She clearly only thinks about herself when giving "advice".

So you think I should end it? That's nice advice; I appreciate you thinking of me.

No. Maybe I'm just not wired the same as you. I would end my life if I didn't think it was worth living and didn't see any point. I don't think anyone should be forced to live a life nearly devoid of pleasure.



androbot01
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09 Mar 2016, 10:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I really like your avatar, Ann.

That's Cinderella ... she's twirling because the fairy godmother just gave her a magical ball gown. One of my favorite childhood stories. Also, her twirling mesmerizes me.

marshall wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
marshall wrote:
What if I told you your advice (i.e. give up) just isn't appreciated and others find it annoying? Why not just stop.
Giving up is not what I'm advising. Rather, the opposite. I'm sorry I'm annoying you, but I'm still going to say what I think. Why not stop bullying me?

I'm not "bullying". "Bullying" is when you try to mess with someone out of sadistic pleasure. I'm not doing that. I'm not feeling any pleasure from this. Therefore I'm not "bullying". I'm telling you your advice is annoying and offensive.

That's not what bullying is. Bullying is when you try to force people to behave the way you want. Like your telling me not to participate in this thread.



marshall
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09 Mar 2016, 11:48 pm

androbot01 wrote:
That's not what bullying is. Bullying is when you try to force people to behave the way you want. Like your telling me not to participate in this thread.

But why do you keep giving "advice" when people don't want to hear it? Isn't that bullying? It's trying to force people to do what you want them to do. It isn't about them, it's all about you.



The Grand Inquisitor
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10 Mar 2016, 12:04 am

marshall wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
That's not what bullying is. Bullying is when you try to force people to behave the way you want. Like your telling me not to participate in this thread.

But why do you keep giving "advice" when people don't want to hear it? Isn't that bullying? It's trying to force people to do what you want them to do. It isn't about them, it's all about you.


To be fair, just because she's giving advice, whether it's good advice or not, I don't think she's trying to force anyone to act a certain way. People can choose to take the advice or not take the advice.

I personally see neither the logic nor the practicality in her advice, but she still has the right to give it.



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10 Mar 2016, 12:07 am

marshall wrote:
If I knew I had to be as alone and miserable as I felt the past few years for the rest of my life I would just end it.

marshall wrote:
No. Maybe I'm just not wired the same as you. I would end my life if I didn't think it was worth living and didn't see any point. I don't think anyone should be forced to live a life nearly devoid of pleasure.



I wholeheartedly agree with those comments. Hence my earlier comment:
Sabreclaw wrote:
So the options are to stop being lonely or kill yourself? Fair enough.



Yigeren
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10 Mar 2016, 12:16 am

I've been terribly lonely since about age twelve. Even before that, I think. I've been in one relationship or another since age twenty. I'm in one now. And I'm lonely all the time.



marshall
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10 Mar 2016, 12:24 am

Quote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
marshall wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
That's not what bullying is. Bullying is when you try to force people to behave the way you want. Like your telling me not to participate in this thread.

But why do you keep giving "advice" when people don't want to hear it? Isn't that bullying? It's trying to force people to do what you want them to do. It isn't about them, it's all about you.

To be fair, just because she's giving advice, whether it's good advice or not, I don't think she's trying to force anyone to act a certain way. People can choose to take the advice or not take the advice.

Her advice is due to the fact that she thinks autistic people are inferior and have "nothing to give" in a relationship. That's why she thinks autistic people should give up. We need to be learn to be hard-hearted emotionless "independent" people who enjoy being boring and being alone all the time, even if it goes against our nature. We are supposed to fit the autistic stereotype of having no emotions and only liking "things". We're supposed to enjoy the bland and mind-numbing meaningless sterile routine of the corporate work world. Turn into a cold unfeeling automaton. What's the point of consciousness? If you could be replaced by a robot and nobody would notice? Robots are just as good as humans at empty glad-handing.



marshall
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10 Mar 2016, 12:29 am

Yigeren wrote:
I've been terribly lonely since about age twelve. Even before that, I think. I've been in one relationship or another since age twenty. I'm in one now. And I'm lonely all the time.

Maybe we should give up having relationships with people we are sexually attracted to and just find people to live with as super-close friends. I don't get why that's so hard in this world. We have this rigid model of the "nuclear family" and all other real social structure is obliterated. I've talked to war veterans who would rather be fighting and dying somewhere far off than be alone in the corporate emotional desert of modern capitalism. At least you have a purpose and you have your buddies who look out for you on the battle field.



kraftiekortie
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10 Mar 2016, 12:32 am

I understand the part about being with your buddies....but I'm not giving up being with somebody I am sexually attracted to.



marshall
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10 Mar 2016, 12:38 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I understand the part about being with your buddies....but I'm not giving up being with somebody I am sexually attracted to.

It would just be nice if there were alternative options for people who aren't so into sex or making babies.



Outrider
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10 Mar 2016, 5:51 am

Androbot, it was an understatement - I probably feel just as lonely as you.

Once or twice every few days, I'll have a moment where I feel very lonely, and may spend 1-3 hours re-checing every dating site I'm on for possible people to get to know, looking for events to do in my boring city (there is never any), asking my Mum if we may be moving soon, etc.

It all proves futile and I feel just as terrible at the end of it than I did before.

I am focusing on everything EXCEPT a relationship.

I can't hang out with my friends much as they live a few towns over. I'm seeing one this weekend luckily.

Otherwise, day-in day-out, it's very lonely.

Kraftiekortie has strongly enocouraged university, but the college here doesn't have what I want, we're moving soon and transferring is expensive, and most of my former friends from high school are attending, and I don't want anything to do with those f*ckers, as they clearly wanted nothing to do with me first.