Why do girls date dumb jocks?

Post Reply New Topic

Not in the least.

"Evo psych" is mumbo jumbo nonsense derived from speculation about animal behavior piled onto speculation on human behavior. It doesn't really help that "evolutionary psychologists" usually don't get their facts about animal behavior correct, either.

I can totally buy psychiatry and not "evo psych."

If evo psych is mumbo jumbo, then I wonder what creationism psych is like?

Too true, especially considering how modern psychiatry and psychology are more and more every day based in neuroscience, thanks to things like the ever improving scanning technology available to researchers. And this interweaving with neuroscience is only bound to increase in the next few decades as the neuroscience research we accrue piles up and can be interpreted, with larger and wider ranging studies with larger sample populations as the scanning technology becomes available and accessible in more places around the world.

All these 3 fields are mumbo jumbo.

None of them is scientific.

And neuroscience is something else.

Ha, ha, you said it yourself: by this logic. But, as soon as someone decides science they don’t like isn’t science, they’ve already declared themself unbound by logic, so you can’t win!

And just because psychiatry is using "some" neuroscience (like the way how evo psych uses "some" biology science) ; doesn't make it more valid.

The validity of "MRA studies" is very controversial.

Psychiatry is not scientific.

Truth is, that mental conditions with no enough valid scientific proofs end up in the DSM, only once a condition gets a valid biological definition it gets removed from the DSM and its diagnosis criteria go to the real medical books.

Rett syndrome is the best example of that, Rett syndrome was lumped with other ASDs in the DSM... it was known as "Classic autism of females" but its exact genetic cause been found and proven, its exact mutation location has been determined - unlike AS, it can be diagnosed medically via DNA screening (and not just theories like in case of AS till now).

I'm not sure psychiatry but psychology is a real science. Hence why it is used in many combined scientific studies. It's expecially used in cobination with neuroscience. One must first understand and identify behaviours to therefore figure out the biological aspect.

All discoveries start out as theories that can be explained

You could flip this and ask 'why do guys date vacant airheads', the answer is that people date all kinds of people, a lot of gals date admirable dudes, people date who they want whether they are truly compatible or not, they learn or don't learn, they enjoy the experience or don't, they never have the experience or they repeat it, learn from it or like it enough to pursue the same kind of chap, sometimes you don't need to try to fathom why folk choose to date a certain person, just focus on what compels you and what you want to stay away from.

Where? In the South? Bible belt folks can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip! We aren't always kind, but we are very generous and polite in the extreme. When I went for college degree #2 and spent two years in New York, I was pleasantly surprised by the bluntness and sarcasm of perfect strangers. For someone like me it was refreshing knowing up front where I stood with people. By comparison they are stingy...oops, I meant to say "frugal," brutally honest, and ALWAYS willing to help--one thing they have in common with us Southerners. I get why we think of them as rude and mean-spirited. Spend some time with them and you'll know how untrue that really is. Same with us. Dive into Southern literature and you know we're anything but anti-intellectual. There is a certain way of thinking associated with "bright" people. Southern folk don't feel compelled to define being "bright" by following a crowd they disagree with. The ability to make up our own minds and draw our own conclusions does not make us anti-intellectual.

Anyway, back to the topic...

Look, people can set whatever standards and criteria they want for dating. If you want to date dumb jocks, you are certainly free to do that. If you want to stay in a relationship with an abuser, you can do that. What you do with your life is your business. Why would you want to? Well, there's not exactly a right answer because all women are different.

What's more interesting a question is why you are so concerned about dating women who are only into dumb jocks? Certain types have a tendency to be with other certain types because they're compatible somehow. I even misjudged my wife as being one of "those" girls because of who she was dating at the time, and she stayed with the dumb jerk because he convinced her she was trapped and could not leave the relationship. All I did was help her understand the lie and protect her throughout her transition of breaking up with him and taking him to court. She's attractive in the extreme and NOTHING like anyone I saw myself making babies with. That alone (because I'm very unattractive) dispels the myth that "alphas" or dumb jocks alone get girls.

Which I hate talking about this way because of how it objectifies women. If you want a woman, there are women to be had. PUAs make a conscious effort of exploiting human psychology in order to form relationships. Effectiveness of those strategies depend on your confidence and persistence in using them, but basically all that does is help build your awareness of qualities that help determine attractiveness where most guys are more natural and less conscious of their behavior. If you lack faith in yourself or you have poor motives for seeking a relationship, eventually your mask will come off and she's not going to respect you anyway.

I wouldn't go for those tactics myself. It's just useful to ask what tactics work and why. When I studied music, one prof told me to play with more emotion. I insisted that I was and had no idea how I could play with more emotion. His answer was smoke and mirrors...what you feel is pointless if others cannot see that. What PUA's try to do is work on showing the side of themselves they want others to see, which sometimes means faking it until you make it.

You may not get girls that way necessarily. You'll eventually get a woman, though, and that has done more for me in the long run.

I'll try to summarize this as best as I understand it for the OP and everyone else:

1. While every person is different, as a general rule there are certain traits in the sexes which tend to be attractive - I'd recommend reading an evolutionary psychology book (such as The Moral Animal) if someone wants a more serious understanding rather than the "PUA" or "alpha" stuff on the internet.

2. Not all "jocks" are dumb, there are plenty of athletic, military, etc guys who are intelligent and strong in character. And not all girls date "jocks", some prefer musicians to jocks. Using such a blanket generalization just comes across as jealous and immature. Basically just the 'male version' of the stereotypical angry feminist who thinks "all men are pigs".

3. Men are the same way - physical attraction is primarily emotional not logical (if people were 100% logical then they'd never have sex unless they wanted children, never smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol, etc). A lot of men would fantasize about Lindsay Lohan over Betty White even if Betty White is the "nicer person".

4. Not all "nice guys" are really that nice - some just "do nice things" but with selfish intentions (such as trying to get a woman to sleep with them), much like the Pharisees in the Bible. Plus if you envy sex with a superficial women who has no standards only dates guys who get into fights with other dudes at a bar to impress her, then that makes you just as superficial.

5. Sex isn't the only purpose in life anyway - if your only sense of worth or purpose in life is based on how many women (or men) you can hump then that just puts on you the same level as a chimpanzee - learning to have some true passion in life rather than just living to satisfy your animalistic urges is a better solution, and if you're living for a purpose rather than just sulking and getting fat, you're much more likely to naturally run into women who find you attractive without having to "try" so hard.

I don't doubt there are intelligent people in the Bible Belt but they seem to be in the extreme minority. In my area (Temple, Texas), most of the social scene is based around drinking and smoking despite how there are so many churches saying those things are supposed to be "bad". It's socially acceptable to hoot and holler when watching a football game but if you express passion for comics, anime, manga, video games that aren't first person shooters, music that isn't country or rap, movies that don't involve huge explosions every few minutes, and science fiction novels, you get tagged as being "weird" at best or "satanic" at worst. You get asked constantly what you believe in and if you don't answer "Christian", you get looks of shock. The women I encounter can't fathom the idea of dating a non-Christian man, even if they are open to having pre-marital sex. There's also a huge xenophobic element here that proclaims anything not "Uhmurican" is evil.

@Soulsparrer: To me, a "jock" is someone who is insecure about looking "manly" and is constantly trying to be macho. They usually end up driving drunk and crashing or getting in fights and ending up in jail. Two of my uncles work out a lot but that's so they can stay in shape and one of them practices martial arts. They aren't jocks at all, just people who care about their health.

I always thought of a jock as just an athlete HS or college age guy, sounds like what you're referring to is a "meathead" or "douchebag".

Well the idea that all girls date guys like that is dumb first of all, and the types of girls who do aren't the ones a guy with standards would want to date anyway. Plus for that matter some guys date girls who are b*****s just because they think they're "hot" so trying to just blame "women" out of spite or a sense of entitlement is pretty foolish.

I think guys who whine and blame women for not dating them because they're "too nice" are about as attractive as a stereotypical, man-hating feminist is to men.

Ok, I see what you mean. I try not to mix the terms "intellectual" and "intelligent." I know quite a few NASCAR/SEC/NFL-fan, beer-drinkin' tractor-driving, born-again, rednecks that are some of the most intelligent people on the planet. And there are quite a few "intellectuals" out there incapable of any original thought.

Don't know if the rest of the post was aimed at me but please hear me out. To be fair on the nice guys who are genuinely nice, I can understand their frustration. In my culture, I was often told that girls like "gentlemen" and my parents as well as teachers and elders drilled that into my head. Yes, I had some social conditioning but I was also nice out of my heart. It can be very exasperating but looking back it was a blessing in disguise I didn't have a relationship with some of the girls I had a crush on since many of them either got pregnant or got involved with drugs. My older brother went after the "I am too pretty to do math" types and he ended up having a divorce, two cancelled marriages, and a lifetime of child support payments.

People tend to portray it as "black and white" - I think ideally women would like a guy who's a gentleman and respectful, but also "manly" and assertive.

A wimpy "nice guy" or an "abusive a**hole" are both unhealthy opposite extremes.