Women, are you attracted to muscular guys?

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I'm a feminist, and I like muscles. I like men who are physically bigger and stronger than me, but don't use that size or strength to intimidate people but rather just enjoy being big and strong and are confident enough they don't need to lord it over anybody and can just exist happily in their own body. I wouldn't date a muscular guy who was muscular because he was insecure and worked out as overcompensation for being insecure and used his muscularity and strength as a social lever to dominate people because of that insecurity.

And you'd be right.

Kind of embarrassing there's N.T., non-disabled Millenials my age with even less skill and functional ability than me. At least I have an excuse.

Is it normal to see 18-25 year olds with Spiderman bookcase, MLP shirts, Adventure Time and Minecraft shirts, etc.?

Research on cartoon shows such as Adventure Time, Stephen Universe, MLP etc. show all attract a high demographic of young adult fans instead of their intended audience.

I can see how some young adults may like the appeal of the more mature seasons of Ben 10 cartoons (for example the Alien Force series is like a sci-fi mystery serial) and Regular Show of course (which is more of a young adult absurdist sitcom), but Adventure Time? Stephen Universe? The Amazing World of Gumball?

I've either never liked or mostly outgrown those types of shows. I do like animated ben 10 and superhero shows though, at least they're more violent and deal with a few more mature themes.

And no, no matter how much people try and convince me those colorful cartoons appeal to adults as well, I just can't see it. I've watched enough episodes to know it's just childish fun type of stuff, and the attempts at being 'deep' and 'meaningful' are typically life lessons anyone would already know regurgitated ('be nice to your friends', 'be tolerant of everyone', etc.)

There's an internet trend called #Adulting where a young adult feels the need to put #Adulting after they do something any adult sees as mundane and normal.

"I just payed my bills. #Adulting."

"Just cooked dinner, didn't burn down the house (yet). #Adulting."

Many, MANY of us lack basic life skills on account of being so sheltered and coddled, including me. This is often considered the generation everyone gets a prize just for being a participant. It was very amusing how easy it was to get rewards and praise in school for minimal effort.

My old high school even had silver and gold certificates for 'good behavior'. Basically, just show up to class and be as neutral as possible and you get a silver certificate for your 'fantastic behavior!'.

That would be like getting promoted because you showed up to work, didn't talk to anyone, and just did the job every day. Not even anything extra, just what you were asked to do. No overtime, no taking on extra projects, just fitting the bare minimum standard for what an employee of the company is supposed to do in the first place.

There was an award at the end of each school year to students who made the most 'contributions to the community'. Usually all that meant was showing up to a single school-based charity event like Relay for Life or whatever and helping out there.

Personally I prefer your example of the 'mature' young woman. I imagine she'd be very fun and playful at least at home in privacy. One of those 'work hard, play hard' types.

I'd seriously date a girl like that but it's unlikely they'd want to date a guy like me (me on disability, them a career woman yadda yadda).

It'd be much better than the rainbow glitter manic pixie dream girl types I come across all the time with multi-colored skrillex cuts, adventure time shirts, pretty pink and purple makeup/nail polish and such.



Fair enough.

And I'm glad at least some Feminist's can openly admit that yes, they do like muscles.

However, I must say if you consider it a dealbreaker that a man tries to gain muscle out of insecurity, that may limit your potential dating pool, as I've noticed more muscular men than one may think are actually very insecure inside, despite the outward confidence they portray that comes with having a good body.

The one's who act like big shots are the obvious insecure ones, but even the one's who just keep their mouth shut and get on with their weightlifting can secretly be insecure inside.

There's a term for that; Gymcel, a male virgin who spends excessive time and effort to gain big muscles to compensate.

In fact, some young men START trying to gain muscle for this very reason alone - insecurity and inferiority complex.

The kind of muscular guys I like are the ones who are innately more muscular, not really the gym-rat type. I like guys who are big but not the super cut type with really low body fat percentages--guys who physiologically/cardiovascularly are healthy and strong but not in a pumped up way, because I want to date someone with a similar physicality to my own (I am reasonably active and eat well but am not health-obsessed or a pumped up gym-rat.) Guys who are bigger and stronger because they come from a family of bigger stronger people tend to be more secure and confident about their size and can live happily in their skin because they have grown up that way around that kind of body type. I have stocky muscular people in my family so I think it appeals to me because of that, because it's what I come from and what I am used to.

I expect a lot of women feel this way. In that case there's no point in me working out.

You should work out--to a reasonable extent depending on your own individual physiology and metabolism--because you want to be healthy and to keep your body strong and functioning and capable. There are lots of different reasons that people work out, but I think that is the best and most important reason. I would want to share that attitude about health with the guys I date, and that does factor into whom I chose to spend my time with.

Last edited by wilburforce on 16 Oct 2016, 9:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That makes sense.

I will work out but not to attract women - in order to attract women JK  

Just work out for your own sake, because you only get one body in this life so it's important to take care of the one you get the best you can.

I know, I was joking  

Oops, I missed that. It's something I tend to take seriously because I used to be less healthy and make bad choices and had a terrible relationship with my body and I remember how crappy that felt and I don't like to see other people feeling crappy in that way about their body and their health.

Have you ever tried yoga? It's something I took up when I started making changes in my life to get healthier and it's one of the best things I ever did for myself--it's a great way to maintain fitness and at the same time develop a healthier relationship with your body, to get to know your body better and appreciate it and inhabit it more fully and in a more centred and conscious/conscientious way. And you can supplement it in lots of ways with weight training and cardio. I like yoga because of how customisable and (pardon the pun here) flexible it is--you can pick and choose the poses what sort of routine you want based on what your goals are, and there is a lot of variation and personal choice involved. You can start very basic and easy and build slowly from there. It's great for developing mental discipline too, because of how you need to pay attention to your form and breathing and movement and balance--it's meditative, and I think that makes it especially well-adapted to people on the spectrum (I think martial arts and tai chi and the like are similarly potentially very useful to spectrumites.) It's definitely the best activity I have ever tried for learning how to get my mind and body to get along with each other, to date.

Ok people, let's see examples of what you consider "lean" or "intermediate".

I really don't think it has anything to do with "feminism" it has to do with liking different things becoming more acceptable.

Me? I like most people. I would admit that I have a preference for shorter men and taller women, more muscle on women, androgyny in any gender, dark hair and dark eyes, and butts. Idk.

I personally like that kind of fashion. Though I'm more into gothy witchy stuff and grunge-y fashion, for my personal style.

My only actual gripe is I feel like it's actually becoming a 180, not that liking more Androgynous looks and femininity in men and such is becoming more accepted, but what WAS accepted in the past is being replaced.

It feels almost like being replaced when you observe fashion and beauty standards around you change and you no longer fit into a standard that once was considered attractive.

It would be like being a curvy or overweight woman in medieval Europe, when it was considered ideal, and then finding the culture change and thin women being considered ideal.

Now there's a movement for women today that all shapes and sizes are considered beautiful, but there is nowhere near as much awareness or positive body image issues for men.

I feel so confused because sometimes it feels like the standards for males being muscular has only increased and gotten worse, but at the same time I see thin, effeminate guys also find success in dating.

I like to think I fit a lot of standards for what may have been considered an attractive male in say previous decades but not today.

The weedy, thin look for young men seems to be ideal now instead of the buffed up look men of the '80s had, and I'd much rather be the latter.

I also see clean shaven and boyish faces being preferred over the 'rough yet masculine' look '80s actors and models had. I kind of like to look a bit more roughed up.

My style of dress lol is Polo and cargo shorts, that hasn't been popular in like a decade now it's young Aussie men having undercuts, retro sunglasses (retro being pre-1970, I prefer Aviators which are more '80s) skinny jeans and flat canvas shoes. I'd feel like a dork dressing that way, but to each their own I guess.

Really? I might have to update my wardrobe.Hold that thought. No way am I dressing like that!

Not yet but now I'm curious to try it.They certainly are. Yue Fei has done me a world of good.

LOTS of pictures incoming.

Have you ever seen what I mean?

Oddly I can't find many pictures online of it but I can try and describe it.

Hair like this:



Glasses like this:



Shirts like this:



Or this:



Cargo shorts, or tan skinny jeans.

Shoes like this:



It just looks silly to me because it's such an odd hodge-podge of different styles.

It looks '50s but also a strange mix of modern to it as well.

The other look I see is something along the lines of:

I've seen a lot of men with hair like that and exgf was very insistant that I get the same hairstyle. There seems to be a cultural expectation that I have hair like that. Well I'm unapologetic for not being a conformist.

And I refuse to use hair gell. I don't want any part of my hear to look like a ken doll.

Did he get his eyebrows trimed? Why?

Also I've seen a lot of guys with that kind of stubble-beard. I mean either grow a beard or don't.

Having a stubble-beard just makes him look like a testosterone deficient man who's trying and failing to grow a full beard.They look like eyebrow glasses lol. I already have eyebrows.

I've actually seen some guys bleach their eyebrows or even shave them off entirely. Maybe they should wear those glasses so they can have eyebrows again lol

Maybe the guy in the picture above needs to wear those glasses since he already cut half of his eyebrows off.

Speaking of glasses have you seen hipster girls wearing those oval shaped "cat eye" glasses. I know they're supposed to be cool because they're from the 50s but they remind me of Dame Edna. Women don't make themselves more attractive to me when they remind me of a drag queen (this is also a reason why I dislike long fingernails on women, I associate long fingernails with drag queens).Only an anorexic guy could fit in that shirt lol. His stomach is actually concave That shirt speaks for itself but why does he have a Mercedes logo over his genitals?

Also why is the end of his belt flopping down flacidely below his waist line? He should put the end in the belt loop on his jeans.

Also why is he weaing a wrist watch on both wrists? I have a small obsession with wrist watches but I've never worn one on each side at the same time Why does the inside need to be so colourful? No one can see the inside when your feet are in them.

The chunky souls give them a sort of cutesy chibbi look. Kind of like a chibbi cartoon character with a tiny body and huge feet. See example below.I have a feeling that the guys who wear those clothes, shoes glasses are the sort of guys who use Apple products.

I'll bet they all have iPhones in their skinny jeans and I'll bet they all use Macbooks in the cafe while they slurp their organic soyachinos.

Gluten-free of course So are they the kind of guys who get the girls because they look a bit bogany and full of themselves to me.

If I hit the gym I want to be a more sophistocated beast.