Should me and my ex-GF go to couples counseling?

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Okay thanks. I haven't made the time to answer these questions yet cause I feel really lousy about the whole thing. This week I decided to get back out there, and do what was suggested to me and meet other women. So I posted a pic of me on a dating site. Since I had been with my gf for years now, I did not have any recent pics to choose from, and wanted something recent, in case I looked a little different. Plus a lot of my older pics are lost now, over the years.

Every pic of me for the past few years has my gf in it as well. I took a pic of me and her and cropped me out, and used it for the dating site, since it was a really good pic of me. A good pic of us of course, but also a good pic of me, if you crop me out, and it's just me.

So I posted the pic of me on a dating site. A new girl sent me a message a couple of days later, and we talked for a bit and then went on a date. When I got back home, my gf sent me an email saying that she saw me on the site. She is on there too, with her own profile now. Can I post what the email read, or do you think that would be too personal, and innapropriate, even though we are broken up now?

I just feel bad after this email and I wanted to explain some things, and thought it might help to show it.

You can post the email if you feel the need. But at this point, don't you think it's irrelevant? When situations like yours happen, you have to make your ex less than a non-person in your life. Every email, text, etc. is a fingerhold on your life. Block her. Ignore her out of existence. That's the only way girls like her learn.

Congrats on getting back in the saddle! Keep rolling with that. You're gonna be just fine.

Okay thanks. I guess it's not necessary, as long as she as actually manipulating me, and there was no mistaken since like one user on here said, 'all we can by is assumptions'.

On the dating site, she also made her own profile, before she saw me on there. On the profile, she listed all the qualities in a guy she wanted, and she listed all the qualities she doesn't. The things that she didn't want in a guy she listed, were all the problems she had with me, I noticed.

Basically, I agree with everything AngelRho said, in his last post----BUT, I can certainly understand why you'd want to post the email (NO NAMES, though----just, copy and paste her words), cuz you still need to work through this. We'll be glad to help you----plus, it'll give us something from "the horse's mouth"----we'll analyze it for you, and tell you what we think.

I was really concerned when you said you put your picture up, on the site----I was thinking "Oh, no----what if SHE is on there"----and then, of course, she WAS. Did you take notice of the date she joined. If it gives the DAY, along with the month and year, I would check to see what emails she wrote BEFORE and AFTER she made a profile, on there (if it doesn't give the DAY that she joined, it probably won't do much good). Also, anything she says to you, now, is moot, IMO, cuz she went lookin' elsewhere, didn't she----seems like she didn't have a WHOLE lotta problems, keeping food down, did she; and, it seems like she wasn't feeling NEARLY as badly as she lead you to believe.

Also, I'm not surprised that she said she wanted somebody withOUT all the things that you ARE, cuz I'm thinking she didn't want you, anyway----she just wanted to see what-all she could get out of you. When you were so nice and giving, she saw you as an easy target.

@Campin_Cat:

@ironpony: I stand by my advice about ignoring people out of existence. Just a little warning about that, though. Ignoring people is a kind of nuclear option that will inspire all kinds of despair and rage in people you do that to. I'm not walking back what I said. Just be prepared for all kinds of ugliness and backlash from it. People who get ignored will go to all kinds of lengths to get noticed or get a reaction from you. Don't fall for it. When your friend comes to you and says "X said ____ about you," the correct response is "Who? I don't know her..."

Okay thanks. I don't mean to ignore advice, and I haven't been. I haven't gotten back together or anything. Here is what the email from her read:

Um...yyyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh...oKAY. Wow.

Reminds me of my ex. I invited a girl friend to visit me at college once, and this was a few months after we broke up. My friend was right there, and my ex was like "we have to talk." I said, "uh, no we don't. I'm a little busy right now."

So my ex screamed so loud you could hear her across campus "BUT I WAS PREGNANT!! !"

Um...NO, that would have required an ill-timed oopsie or a broken condom, neither of which happened AND you're on the pill. So don't bother trying to humiliate me now. You're just making yourself look even more insane.

The bad ones always show their true colors when their worlds fall apart.

Okay thanks. Sorry I didn't reply for while, I just needed to not talk about the whole thing for a while.

I haven't seen her for a few weeks, but as I was shopping, she came up from behind my car at the grocery store and started yelling at me and making a scene. next time, i am in a parking lot, i am scoping teh whole place out first lol
then if i see her, i will call her and tell her i want to talk and try to get her away from the car, before i get in a drive away.

She was probably picking up her bro who works at that grocery store, and I didn't think of it at the time, that she may by small chance, be there.

Okay thanks. When I broke up with she told me to take my ring back and then she gave me the ring back. I was about to leave when she started begging me and wouldn't let me leave, and so I had to move her out of the way, and she then told my friends that I hit her during the break up, when all I did was push her away from the door, so I could get out, after pleading with her to let me leave, several times.

During her begging me to stay, she kept asking for the ring back, but I was mad and upset and said no, since she told me to take it back.

I then left. Do think it is her ring, since I gave it to her and maybe I should have given it back. She asked for it back later in an email, saying it was hers. She also wanted the money back which she payed me back with for the dentist, that I lent her before, which I talked about before in my threads.

I do have some clothes of hers, to give her back as well. Those I should give back for sure, but what do you think? How should I approach this, if never talking to her again, is the best idea?

You could ship her cloths to her.

Reading that email is a textbook case of a Borderline Personality Disordered girl and is frightfully like my ex. Do they ?have access to the same script? I believe she literally said the first sentence word for word too! Ultimately, the only difference is she messaged me literally SECONDS after I created my public dating profile.

When you talk about slapping her, I almost ended up doing that myself and I am one of the most gentle people imaginable. I actually could see why spouses would commit murder and that was the point I knew something with SERIOUSLY wrong. The only thing you can do it break off all contact and seek counselling as to why you would even consider a relationship with someone obviously so messed up. I've seen enough of these relationships and it will ultimately end with a visit to the hospital, prison or morgue (or all three). My ex still cyberstalks me to this day even though I have happily married. When I finally had the courage to walk away for good, she swung from loving, kind messages to nasty hate filled ones. Her last word was that she was 'too good for someone like you'.

Good women are NOT like that. My wife does some things that drive me up the wall occasionally (and I'm sure I do the same to her) but we have NEVER yelled, NEVER argued angrily, NEVER badmouthed her, NEVER fought with her family or friends and she is NEVER moody and NEVER disrespectful. Who cares what your family thinks? It's YOUR life and these types of girls almost never change or improve.

Come on man, get a backbone and walk away before you end up with false rape or domestic abuse charges. You deserve so much better than being with a child and STAY AWAY FROM POF if you value your sanity. These types of women will ruin your life and are capable of serious self-harm and then having delusions you did it to her.

Okay thanks. She now sent me an email saying that I forced her to have sex with during the relationship... This makes me feel really concerned. There were times when we sort of had these rape fantasies. It's kind of like when James Bond was rough with p**** Galore, but he didn't actually mean to hurt or violate her.

We didn't do it like that often, just once in a while, here or there. But even though she was struggling, she still orgasmed and stuck with me, all that time, and kept wanting more and more sex, so either she was doing it all just to please and felt actually forced, here and there, the odd time when she would struggle, or she is just saying it now to make me feel bad.

She could be so screwed up that she actually believes it was rape now even thou she didn't think it was rape at the time.