Relatives trying to pair you up

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Wish my family would set me up with someone

I beg to differ! My first girlfriend was someone I found unattractive. Despite that, I was more than willing to date her, and even settle down with her. Simply because I "knew" no other girl will like me. (She was the first girl to show romantic interest in me and I was 18.) So in my mind, it was either being with her or being alone. I probably would have enjoyed this relationship. But I later found out that she was one of the least outgoing people I ever met. I had so many fun ideas that I would have loved to do, but all she wanted to do was hang out on campus (college) and maybe walk a few blocks to a banal American diner.

At least people here are actually admitting finding love was easier in the past, and if you believe it was easier that also means you believe it must be harder today.

To be honest that's why I think there's so many lonely single young men complaining on the internet nowadays.

It's because this is the first generation where arranged marriages are dying out in many countries as a cultural tradition and young men and women today are given much more freedom in dating and aren't pressured to marry very young.

Add on the fact that the divorce rates are soaring, single mothers are rising and we have a generation of young Millenial men who not only lack father figures who can teach them the knowledge to get a girlfriend, not that their fathers could have offered much knowledge because it was far easier to be paired up for them back then then it would be nowadays.

How did my Dad meet my Mum?

Years of hardwork at the gym, approaching and asking out dozens of women in-person, sending hundreds of online messages, changing his hair to some sh*tty ugly effeminate Metrosexual haircut, completely changing how he dresses to conform to societies fashion standards, getting a high paying career with his university degree, impressing her with his good car, good work ethic, good morals and values?

Lol nope, he was about 17 at the time, she was about 14. He approached her at a shopping centre. Basically catcalled her ("Sexual harassment! How dare he! Sexist!").

Basically yelled out "Hey, you! Come over here!"

Chatted her up, exchanged numbers. A few weeks later began dating. Within mere months Mum was pregnant with me.

Within a few years, he ended up being an alcoholic partier who left all major responsibilities onto her, possibly cheated once or twice when she was pregnant with my sister, only went to university for about a week to make new party friends before dropping out, was in-and-out of work, mainly labor jobs in factories.

In short, a scumbag and Mum stayed with him out of dedication anyway and finally left when the abuse became too much.

Then again, maybe it still is easy for some lucky bastards.

Y'know what, my Uncle easily got a girlfriend the other day.

He is tall, but he is overweight, rarely showers, doesn't brush his teeth or take care of his hygiene whatsoever, dresses like rubbish, eats like garbage, does lift weights sometimes I won't lie, has mental disorders including learning difficulties (I have mental disorders too of course but am far more polite, functional and socially appropriate than he is, he is inappropriate and childish, I just have mild anxieties and my Aspergers barely even affects me anymore), he has few friends and what friends he do has are scummy/no-good, he has had a few jobs but always gets fired after not too long because he is disrespectful to authority, he lives at home, he wets the bed, he treats my grandmother with disrespect, he is lazy and doesn't help around her house, is facially average looking at best, and yet he's had more girlfriends than me and isn't a virgin.

I am average height and average looking, a healthy weight and slightly fit, well-groomed, well-dressed, confident, dedicate myself passionately to creating music and fitness, etc.

He rarely leaves the house. I do but only because I lack friends.

He was visiting my family on holidays and boxing day we spent the evening having a barebque on the beach.

I ALWAYS go out to the beaches with my family, generally try to look as good and confident and happy as possible, am more slimmer and fitter than he is, and am on the lookout for girls my age, but I rarely see them and what few I do never show an interest in me. Ever.

And yet, the first day he goes to this beach with us, some woman walks with him and his dog on the beach, he got her number that evening, saw her the next day, and she's now his girlfriend.

I've been going out to beaches with family every weekend for like the last 7 months and haven't even had so much as a flirty stare from a girl that indicates to me she is interested and I should approach, let alone being approached myself.

She wasn't my type I'll admit, she lied to him a little about a few things, and was clearly very horny the evening they met because she was being very sexually explicit around my family when we invited her to eat with us, they rushed to start a 'relationship' that very well may be short lived, but still.

I am afraid that in this case unless you are a sorceress you can't know.

You mean just the girls, RIGHT?!

^ It's a Bonobo tactic to resolve conflicts.

I would hate to have been your first girlfriend.
She wasn't really a girlfriend just a tool so you werent lonely.

You didn't answer though...

Everyone deserves a hug! Even men!

Are you saying you wouldn't have enjoyed going to some of the most romantic places I could find in the city? Like the river promenade at night, cozy ethnic restaurants, and eclectic art museums. Or phone calls that made you feel cared for. I didn't just freeload on the relationship to alleviate my loneliness. I tried very hard to be a good boyfriend to her, even with the limited information I had back then. An in terms of finding romantic venues, I was at least good at that part.

With that said, I now---many years later---very much understand what you mean. When that girl showed interest, I got so excited, that I didn't think about what kind of girlfriend she might be, or whether she would even be compatible. Plus, she didn't like restaurants or museums; just sitting on campus (university) and talking, which went against my definition of romance. Although what led to things falling apart was me acting needy and desperate. Serves me right, you'd say.

So, just like the matches families try to pair people up with, she was highly incompatible.

Lady at work was talking about how she's using a guy who's interested in her to get free food and actives like shooting.

Me too. I would like it.

Not a very nice response... It's hard to empathize with a guy like that unless you've lived out something similar. I have, and it's a miserable place to be. I get that the other person is valuable, too, and that things should have been handled a better way. But that doesn't make things any better for the guy, either.

Anyway, she sounds a lot like the girl I almost married. And that was my attitude towards her, too. She wasn't my first gf, though, but I didn't feel anybody else would ever have me.

Our history together went all the way back to middle school. We saved ourselves for college and the sex was awesome. But she also grew up to be very abusive, and somehow EVERYTHING ended up being my fault. Eventually I decided being alone for the rest of my life was better than being screamed at by her every night.

My love life rapidly got very interesting after that!

Hey, WP is kinda like a family, right? Why don't we get slw and sly together???

If they have a baby, would it be named slx or slz?

I vote slx1135.

No, besides the userrnames, they are not a good match at all, at least from what I recall from slw's previous posts and what I recall from sly's living conditions, sly doesn't meet her standards at all. Let's face it, slw wouldn't like sly.

slw may feel offended for trying to pair her up with sly.