How to save money while dating

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Well, I thought I was doing well until last night. My ex and I volunteer together so I was kind of anxious about seeing her again, but as it turned out we actually had a civil and relatively normal social interaction and even agreed to stay friends. It was like the tension had evaporated. However, she mentioned something about possibly interacting with another guy online and while I kept it to myself, that somehow triggered feelings of regret in me. Like, I know why I broke up with her and what my criteria would be if I were to consider ever actually getting back together, so what I'm feeling right now makes no logical sense.

Moreover, before I dated in the first place, I never had a problem being single, and there are plenty of objective benefits to not being tied to someone else. However, now that I'm newly single again it has only been a week and today I'm feeling some regret. I don't feel that I need someone else to satisfy some meaningless biological urge, or some equally meaningless societal expectation, yet I'm feeling something akin to regret and maybe a tinge of loneliness. Maybe dating for so long has given me brain damage. I never had room for illogical feelings in my life before, so what's different now?

I am considering getting back on the dating scene, and as a gamer I should understand more than most the concept of getting back on my horse after falling off of it. I've lost so many lives in videogames over the years that I'm not afraid to die and restart again from a checkpoint, no matter how many tries it may take to advance. Maybe the concept can be applied to dating. Actually, in this case I might have bailed off my horse, but the fact remains that I kind of want to get back on it again. I think it should be with someone new and not my ex, so maybe I'll consider checking out the online dating scene that's so popular nowadays. Any thoughts?

Stick to your guns, though, because you know what that path leads back to.

When I dumped my fiancée, she threatened to transfer to a different college. I just said, do what you feel is best. Wouldn't you know it? As soon as I got settled in my dorm the next semester and went to the music building, she was right there waiting at the top steps.

Later on she said her best friend was setting her up with this guy and they expected to have a good time. I'm like, so? Not that I'm proud of it, but my spiritual convictions back then only stretched so far... So, yeah, I couldn't help feeling jealous and even give in to sleeping with her. She used that as a psychological weapon. But in the end I was dead serious we did NOT have a relationship, something she struggled to accept. Any time another girl was involved, she went BALLISTIC. Honey, I can't cheat on you if we're not a couple. She eventually did take things to far and I avoided her like a disease.

Girls will do that. Think about it--she's in contact with some guy online she's gonna do exactly WHAT with? What, is her mom gonna drive her halfway across the country so he can take them BOTH out to dinner? lol Don't let it get to you. You've been a slave in Egypt. You weren't better off. Don't look back.

Ok...but now you must cut off all communication with her. You can't break up with someone if you don't BREAK UP. Don't lead her on by answering texts.

I think that if she can fix the central issue here, then she deserves a second chance. So, no, I don't agree to ignore her. Instead, use this to pressure her for getting more independent. You will never get a better chance than this, and you might do her a favour too. Regardless of the outcome.

I certainly don't believe in being cruel. If the main reason for the breakup was her dependence on her parents, then if she can fix that, she deserves a second chance. If she cannot, then fine, you have a good point why you should not take her back.

I agree with rdos. If she becomes more independent it could be worthwhile. Her parents are the problem. She's been brought up by a couple of fruitcakes. Let's hope for her own sake she puts some distance between herself and them.

Well, I won't be responding to texts, but I haven't been avoiding her at church since the first time I saw her there. Actually, I did respond to a text when she wanted me to take her back, so I flat out said we both need to get our lives together first. The ball is in her court and maybe it will work out if she can get to where she needs to be, but that's on her from here on. I'm not sure if I want to wait years for that to happen though. However, if I can at least get her to understand that she needs to work towards independence then I think I've done her a favour, and her future will be all the better for it, whether I'm a part of it or not.

I'd still message her if i was you, on paper it looks like you could potential stay as friends in the future. I would only cut contact if it was a bad breakup like from cheating etc.
I would ignore any messages like "I miss you" "can we get back together etc" but if its just normal friendly chats then i wouldn't consider it. If your still going to talk and interact to her in person then i cant see the point of cutting off texts.

I was sort of in a similar predicament with my 2nd girlfriend. We were long distance & she was financially dependent on her parents cuz she was in college. She was 19 & I was almost 28. Her parents were conservative & traditional & didn't want us being alone together either even thou she had her own apartment that her parents paid for. My parents wanted to respect her parents wishes cuz they're traditional in some ways so they wouldn't let me go to her apartment & would of told if we tried to go behind her parents back. I was willing to try & make things work but she broke up with me partly over it. She wanted to have a relationship with someone close so she could keep it a secret from her parents & because distance is hard. There were other reasons she broke up with me that were kind of my fault but I still wonder what if.

I don't really have any advice; others have said alot but I wanted to say I relate in some ways.