How bad does my final text message sound? She didn't reply?

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rdos
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08 May 2017, 3:59 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Why do you use such crude methods anyway? I'd NEVER ever ask a girl for her number, and even if I got it, I would not dare to call her anyway, so why would I bother with it?" "Crude"?! It's normal! If you were single, then why wouldn't you ask for a fine chick's number? Even if the hottest super model gave you her number, you still wouldn't call her back?! Why?!


No, I wouldn't. I've never asked a girl for her number. Not my style. Besides, I don't value women based on their looks, so being super model would not make her more appealing to me than any ordinary-looking girl. For me, personality and neurotype are the important qualities of a woman, not looks.



rdos
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08 May 2017, 4:04 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"I doubt she would if she read your hateful comments about women."

You got a problem with that? I can say whatever the hell I want about whoever I want. Women can say "men are evil", but men can't say hateful things about women when they've had it rough? What, I can't speak ill of women just because they're women? What are you, a male feminist? Get outta here. You're full of crap.


No, I'm not a feminist. I strongly dislike most of the modern feminism and especially rude feminists that hate males. However, I also strongly dislike guys that lash-out on women. Neither is ok.

In fact, I believe a positive attitude is the primary asset of any human, and it will get you far longer than any dating codes and good looks. Hate and negativity will get you nowhere.



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08 May 2017, 4:11 am

rdos wrote:
AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Why do you use such crude methods anyway? I'd NEVER ever ask a girl for her number, and even if I got it, I would not dare to call her anyway, so why would I bother with it?" "Crude"?! It's normal! If you were single, then why wouldn't you ask for a fine chick's number? Even if the hottest super model gave you her number, you still wouldn't call her back?! Why?!


No, I wouldn't. I've never asked a girl for her number. Not my style. Besides, I don't value women based on their looks, so being super model would not make her more appealing to me than any ordinary-looking girl. For me, personality and neurotype are the important qualities of a woman, not looks.


Are you a-sexual then? You don't even get turned on in public?



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08 May 2017, 4:17 am

"I'm not a feminist. I strongly dislike most of the modern feminism and especially rude feminists that hate males. However, I also strongly dislike guys that lash-out on women. Neither is ok.

Look man, I have every right to "lash-out on women" behind a screen, just as much as women have every right to do so to men because of negative experiences.

"In fact, I believe a positive attitude is the primary asset of any human, and it will get you far longer than any dating codes and good looks. Hate and negativity will get you nowhere."

Oh yeah? Well I still managed to get a potential girlfriend. So screw what you have to say, you lame, corny, low testosterone, old, Swedish fart. You and I are worlds apart. Positive attitude my ass.



NorthWind
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08 May 2017, 4:23 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
I didn't really mean the thing about desperate girls. It's the internet and sometimes when I'm frustrated, I say things that are a little overboard... Then when I look back, I'm like, did I really just say that? However, it is true that most girls/women are lying, deceiving and two-faced whenever a random guy asks for their number. I could name over a dozen girls off the top of my head who've lead me on instead of being honest from the start.

In fact, I've only met one girl, ONE, back in High School who said to me "I can't give you my number because I don't know you." Why can't all girls/women just be honest from the start, instead of leading a guy on, then lying, flaking, hanging up, or not answering like we're a pesky telemarketer? That's rude, mean, hateful, and just plain evil. Liars deserve to go to hell.

After all the times I've been ripped off, 21 years of being single, can you blame me for being desperate? Most neurotypical people don't understand what loneliness does to the psyche. I literally NEED a relationship in order to heal, and get a better understanding of the female gender so I won't hate them anymore and see them as human beings instead of con artists from hell. I sure hope that makes sense.


Asking random strangers for their number just is an unusual approach. University is a good place to get to know people, because you can just talk to other students you don't know at all without seeming weird. However, asking for the number usually comes after having had one or several real conversations. Since asking for the girls number immediately is not the usual approach at university, they won't quite know what to make of you when you do so. If your social skills seem bad, you seem like you don't quite understand the situation or you seem pushy they mightn't feel save refusing to give you their number. Usually they won't assume that you'll actually hurt them, but if you obviously don't understand that they have a right to say 'no' or just seem pushy they might want to avoid the drama of rejecting you. They might think you won't accept 'no' for an answer and they don't want to get into an argument about it.
They also don't really have a reason to want to give you their number if they don't know you. Have a few conversations with them first and if you enjoy each others company, then ask for their number. If you can't have a conversation with her the both of you enjoy, getting her number, even if she replies, won't help you anyway.

Generally, hating women is bad for your chances of getting a girlfriend. Hating women in combination with having bad social skills is even worse because then you might accidentally show that you hate them or that you think of them as lesser beings.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
Well, you see, I'm kinda-sorta taking this College class... Even though this one girl technically isn't IN my class, I asked for her number and I didn't hear back from her. Ironically, I asked for this b's number the same day that I texted the girl from the dating site. If I ever see her again I'm gonna put her on blast. Get this: She wants to teach kids with disabilities... Fancy that...... I'd love to give that b a piece of my mind. Oh yeah, and I took a photography class not too long ago. Most of the people there were middle-aged adults and senior citizens.

She has a right to reject you. And the 'gonna put her on blast' sounds kinda aggressive. If you often come across as aggressive it's no wonder they give you their number and then don't respond. They simply don't feel save refusing to give you their number. If your aggressiveness is the reason why you keep getting numbers but no reply, then learn to act like a decent human being and others might treat you better in response.
That she wants to work with kids with disabilities, does not mean she has to want to date adults with disabilities. She has a right to want the one but not the other.



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08 May 2017, 4:27 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
Oh yeah? Well I still managed to get a potential girlfriend. So screw what you have to say, you lame, corny, low testosterone, old, Swedish fart. You and I are worlds apart. Positive attitude my ass.

Yes but with emphasis on 'potential'. Right now it's just a date.

Besides, a negative attitude towards the opposite sex is not good for anyone's chances of getting a partner. That there are women who hate men doesn't mean that it helps their chances of getting a boyfriend or of getting a good boyfriend or of getting a healthy relationship.



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08 May 2017, 4:38 am

"Hating women is bad for your chances of getting a girlfriend. Hating women in combination with having bad social skills is even worse because then you might accidentally show that you hate them or that you think of them as lesser beings." Women don't have to know how I really feel about them due to my negative experiences. What I post on this website STAYS on this website. I've had a girlfriend before. I may have Asperger's, but I know how to put on an act in front of people to make them like me. They obviously won't know that I think of them as lesser beings unless I say so. Sexism works the same way as racism. You can apply this to any gender or race.

"That she wants to work with kids with disabilities, does not mean she has to want to date adults with disabilities. She has a right to want the one but not the other." But that's the epitome of irony! You're gonna teach kids with disabilities, but not give a guy who has mild AS a chance?! That's freakin' ridiculous!



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08 May 2017, 4:50 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Hating women is bad for your chances of getting a girlfriend. Hating women in combination with having bad social skills is even worse because then you might accidentally show that you hate them or that you think of them as lesser beings." Women don't have to know how I really feel about them due to my negative experiences. What I post on this website STAYS on this website. I've had a girlfriend before. I may have Asperger's, but I know how to put on an act in front of people to make them like me. They obviously won't know that I think of them as lesser beings unless I say so. Sexism works the same way as racism. You can apply this to any gender or race.

That it might be bad for your chances doesn't mean it will reduce them to 0. You know, that girl you are currently going to date mightn't have seen it as so bad, but in this text message you sent her, you actually did say some things accidentally that were honest and would make quite a few women decide to just ghost you. So don't claim your actual attitudes never show in conversations you have with people you know in real live or plant to get to know in real life. You provided a perfect example that they do.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"That she wants to work with kids with disabilities, does not mean she has to want to date adults with disabilities. She has a right to want the one but not the other." But that's the epitome of irony! You're gonna teach kids with disabilities, but not give a guy who has mild AS a chance?! That's freakin' ridiculous!

Who to marry is a decision that will have a huge influence on all of your future life. You have a completely different relationship to your husband/wife than to people you work with. It's not irony. It's two completely different things. Besides, she might be willing to date a guy with a disability, she might just not be willing to date any random guy with a disability. Maybe she would date another guy with a disability, but she just doesn't want to date you. Chances are she wouldn't have said yes to every non-disabled person either. Maybe she doesn't date you because of your disability (does she even know you are disabled?) or maybe she simply doesn't like you and it has nothing to do with your disability.



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08 May 2017, 4:58 am

NorthWind wrote:
AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Hating women is bad for your chances of getting a girlfriend. Hating women in combination with having bad social skills is even worse because then you might accidentally show that you hate them or that you think of them as lesser beings." Women don't have to know how I really feel about them due to my negative experiences. What I post on this website STAYS on this website. I've had a girlfriend before. I may have Asperger's, but I know how to put on an act in front of people to make them like me. They obviously won't know that I think of them as lesser beings unless I say so. Sexism works the same way as racism. You can apply this to any gender or race.

That it might be bad for your chances doesn't mean it will reduce them to 0. You know, that girl you are currently going to date mightn't have seen it as so bad, but in this text message you sent her, you actually did say some things accidentally that were honest and would make quite a few women decide to just ghost you. So don't claim your actual attitudes never show in conversations you have with people you know in real live or plant to get to know in real life. You provided a perfect example that they do.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"That she wants to work with kids with disabilities, does not mean she has to want to date adults with disabilities. She has a right to want the one but not the other." But that's the epitome of irony! You're gonna teach kids with disabilities, but not give a guy who has mild AS a chance?! That's freakin' ridiculous!

Who to marry is a decision that will have a huge influence on all of your future life. You have a completely different relationship to your husband/wife than to people you work with. It's not irony. It's two completely different things. Besides, she might be willing to date a guy with a disability, she might just not be willing to date any random guy with a disability. Maybe she would date another guy with a disability, but she just doesn't want to date you. Chances are she wouldn't have said yes to every non-disabled person either. Maybe she doesn't date you because of your disability (does she even know you are disabled?) or maybe she simply doesn't like you and it has nothing to do with your disability.


I never said I was "disabled". I just find it ironic that a future teacher would deceive somebody who just so happened to be on the autism spectrum, not that she knew it of course.



rdos
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08 May 2017, 5:00 am

NorthWind wrote:
That it might be bad for your chances doesn't mean it will reduce them to 0. You know, that girl you are currently going to date mightn't have seen it as so bad, but in this text message you sent her, you actually did say some things accidentally that were honest and would make quite a few women decide to just ghost you. So don't claim your actual attitudes never show in conversations you have with people you know in real live or plant to get to know in real life. You provided a perfect example that they do.


Exactly. If he gets together with that girl and becomes comfortable with her, he will no longer uphold "dating standards" and "socially acceptable behaviour", but will show his real self, which from his posts here, isn't very nice.



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08 May 2017, 5:07 am

rdos wrote:
NorthWind wrote:
That it might be bad for your chances doesn't mean it will reduce them to 0. You know, that girl you are currently going to date mightn't have seen it as so bad, but in this text message you sent her, you actually did say some things accidentally that were honest and would make quite a few women decide to just ghost you. So don't claim your actual attitudes never show in conversations you have with people you know in real live or plant to get to know in real life. You provided a perfect example that they do.


Exactly. If he gets together with that girl and becomes comfortable with her, he will no longer uphold "dating standards" and "socially acceptable behaviour", but will show his real self, which from his posts here, isn't very nice.


You don't know me. If I were comfortable in a relationship, I would never sabotage it after all the hard work to make it possible. Anything negative or offensive about women, I keep to myself. Always. I use the internet to vent my frustration. My online and offline personalities are separate. So buzz off.



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08 May 2017, 5:41 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Why don't you go to university?"

Well, you see, I'm kinda-sorta taking this College class... Even though this one girl technically isn't IN my class, I asked for her number and I didn't hear back from her. Ironically, I asked for this b's number the same day that I texted the girl from the dating site. If I ever see her again I'm gonna put her on blast. Get this: She wants to teach kids with disabilities... Fancy that...... I'd love to give that b a piece of my mind.


I don't know why the girl didn't reply to your request. It could be any number of reasons. Maybe she didn't see the message. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she's not interested, but there is something very important you have to understand in life. A girl is not obliged to reply to you when you ask for her number, and you are not entitled to a reply. Nor are you obliged to reply to a girl under the same circumstance, nor would she be entitled to a reply from you.[/quote]


AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Negative generalizations/perceptions about women will hinder you, and if you want a woman for more than boosting your ego, then you should look for more than a desperate woman. The problem with relationships based on desperation is, either one or both parties are disregarding the subject of compatibility, and so the relationships often turn toxic. Have some self respect and standards, and expect the other person to have self respect and standards as well."

I didn't really mean the thing about desperate girls. It's the internet and sometimes when I'm frustrated, I say things that are a little overboard... Then when I look back, I'm like, did I really just say that?


It's understandable that you would be frustrated. I would be cautious about what you post though, as nothing you post ever really leaves the internet, and no one is ever really anonymous. In the future, when you apply for jobs, or if you ever decide to run for office, you would not want things you said in the heat of the moment and didn't really mean popping up.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
However, it is true that most girls/women are lying, deceiving and two-faced whenever a random guy asks for their number. I could name over a dozen girls off the top of my head who've lead me on instead of being honest from the start.

In fact, I've only met one girl, ONE, back in High School who said to me "I can't give you my number because I don't know you." Why can't all girls/women just be honest from the start, instead of leading a guy on, then lying, flaking, hanging up, or not answering like we're a pesky telemarketer? That's rude, mean, hateful, and just plain evil. Liars deserve to go to hell.


What you perceive as dishonest or indirect, is really just girls trying to tell you they aren't interested gently. They do this for two reasons.

1. Girls are pressured by society to "be nice", and are trying to spare your feelings and let you save face. They are actually rejecting you the way they would want to be rejected, because they think that's the nice way to do it, and if you were a girl, that would be the nice way to do it.

2. Many men respond in a hostile, aggressive, or violent manner when rejected. As one person put it, when forming relationships, men worry about being laughed at, women worry about being murdered. Maybe you are not a violent person, but look at your above comments. Look how you responded to not hearing back from a girl when you asked for her number, when you don't even know why you haven't heard back. You demonized her and called her a "b" and said you would love to give her a piece of your mind, all because you didn't hear back, when you don't have a right to a response from her to begin with. That's hostile and aggressive thinking on your part and I would be afraid to flat out tell a guy who thinks like that that I wasn't interested.

I had once incident once where a guy who thought I had rejected him because I hadn't replied to his texts hurled a cup of ice at me from a moving vehicle. Luckily he missed...45mph chunks of ice can severely injure someone. I hadn't actually rejected him, as he thought. I had not seen his texts and had not realized he had asked me out. Girls and women should not have to worry about their safety for saying "no" but unfortunately we do. If saying "No thanks, I'm not interested" posed no risk to our safety, girls and women would be a lot more direct.

AspieGuy96 wrote:
After all the times I've been ripped off, 21 years of being single, can you blame me for being desperate? Most neurotypical people don't understand what loneliness does to the psyche. I literally NEED a relationship in order to heal, and get a better understanding of the female gender so I won't hate them anymore and see them as human beings instead of con artists from hell. I sure hope that makes sense.


I agree you need social interaction, and you might need a relationship, but needs do not entitle you to a relationship with a particular person. And I say this likely having had experienced more rejection in life than you. Yes, it's hurtful and upsetting. But I'm glad that people have no obligation to have relationships with me or associate with me, because how horrible it would be if I were forced to have a relationship or associate with someone that I didn't want to associate with? As someone with AS, who stresses easily in social situations, I think it would be very horrible indeed if I were forced to associate with someone. So if someone doesn't want to associate with me, that's fine.



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08 May 2017, 5:50 am

Chronos wrote:
AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Why don't you go to university?"

Well, you see, I'm kinda-sorta taking this College class... Even though this one girl technically isn't IN my class, I asked for her number and I didn't hear back from her. Ironically, I asked for this b's number the same day that I texted the girl from the dating site. If I ever see her again I'm gonna put her on blast. Get this: She wants to teach kids with disabilities... Fancy that...... I'd love to give that b a piece of my mind.


I don't know why the girl didn't reply to your request. It could be any number of reasons. Maybe she didn't see the message. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she's not interested, but there is something very important you have to understand in life. A girl is not obliged to reply to you when you ask for her number, and you are not entitled to a reply. Nor are you obliged to reply to a girl under the same circumstance, nor would she be entitled to a reply from you.


Yes, but it's still rude to not be upfront and honest from the start. When women deceive and tell lies, their lives could be in danger if they ever see the guy again. Think about that. Me, personally, because I'm nice, the worst I'd do is put her on blast, even though I'd really like to kick her ass, and every other girl who messed with me.



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08 May 2017, 6:03 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
You don't know me. If I were comfortable in a relationship, I would never sabotage it after all the hard work to make it possible.


What hard work? Asking every woman you see for her number? AFAIK, you have not put any hard work into anything productive.

Hard work to me is to court a woman for a year or more, and not expect anything in return.



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08 May 2017, 6:06 am

rdos wrote:
AspieGuy96 wrote:
You don't know me. If I were comfortable in a relationship, I would never sabotage it after all the hard work to make it possible.


What hard work? Asking every woman you see for her number? AFAIK, you have not put any hard work into anything productive.

Hard work to me is to court a woman for a year or more, and not expect anything in return.


You know what, old man? You can shut the hell up. You don't know a damn thing about me, nor do you understand my situation. I mean hard work as in going from strangers to being in a relationship. Seriously, get lost.



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08 May 2017, 6:14 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
rdos wrote:
AspieGuy96 wrote:
"Why do you use such crude methods anyway? I'd NEVER ever ask a girl for her number, and even if I got it, I would not dare to call her anyway, so why would I bother with it?" "Crude"?! It's normal! If you were single, then why wouldn't you ask for a fine chick's number? Even if the hottest super model gave you her number, you still wouldn't call her back?! Why?!


No, I wouldn't. I've never asked a girl for her number. Not my style. Besides, I don't value women based on their looks, so being super model would not make her more appealing to me than any ordinary-looking girl. For me, personality and neurotype are the important qualities of a woman, not looks.


Are you a-sexual then? You don't even get turned on in public?


I'm not asexual in the way you think (I don't have a low sex drive). I'm only disgusted by guys that need to f*ck every girl they see, and by girls that go for that kind of thing.

So, yes, I'm certainly attracted to girls, but I don't let attraction play any role in partner selection.