29 is closing in and nothing is getting better for me

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Marknis, I felt the same way you do about finding a girlfriend from junior high until 2012 when I was 27. And now I see how ignorant I was to think that, and how I was setting myself up for failure. It wasn't until I lost my vehicle Labor Day 2012 and suddenly found I was no longer able to try all these things, some approaches being really awkward, to try and find love in my life. I began to appreciate what little I had left to be happy, and for several years, things were going quite well in my life. I went to my 10-Year Reunion in October 2013, where I was welcomed by the same classmates who just couldn't understand me a decade earlier. I also rekindled an interest I had at a very young age in the music of country-gospel-pop group the Oak Ridge Boys, who were extremely popular in the early-to-mid 80s, and are in the twilight of their career now, and I became good friends with them, as well as an appreciated expert on their history on their social media, as well as having the chance to go to eleven of their shows during that time. That certainly made up for the joy of having a girlfriend. I felt very honored to be so appreciated by the fans of this music entity, and though I ended up having to quit going to their shows, due to income issues causing me to not be able to afford to travel virtually anywhere, and times have gotten tough again, I will always appreciate the good times I had from 2012-15. My point is, there's more to life than having a girlfriend. Try to find something you can be appreciated by others by, try to learn more as you live what people find appropriate and what they don't, don't be afraid to seek guidance from professionals when needed, and most of all, try to find some spiritual guidance, whatever your religion. I've learned in recent years what so many people tried to tell me for so long, but took me so long to accept...there's so much more to life than finding love!

I have few/no friends either.

These people need to stop telling us how to live our lives.

There's a big differene between 'single with friends' vs 'Single with NO friends'.

As someone who's been both I know I'd be happy being single without a girlfriend if I had dgood caring friends in my life,but I don't even have that.

Also, I'm trying to both make new friends and get a girlfriend.

I would be happy with one or the other (or both) but what I do know is I'm unhappy without either.

Most of the people here who are happy being single have friends.

99% of people I've ever met who say they're happy being single have friends, a loving family and often have lots ofcasual sex and FWBs.

I felt the same way when I was 29. Now I am 31 and I am in what I think might be THE relationship I've been waiting for. Don't give up hope. Your therapist is right. Thinking only about finding a girlfriend will not a girlfriend make. Focus on the things in life you really like to do. Go to social events for those things and meet people who have similar interests. You might just meet someone you have a lot in common with there. Don't jump into the arms of just any woman who will have you! You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is compatible with you.

the pickings for us aspies can be rare. we don't have the same wide compatible mate selection as typical NTs, it seems.

i know how you feel. i can relate to that.

I wouldn't try to impress girls that are going to do nothing except shut you down and ignore you. Those types of women are the ones you don't date.

i wonder if i'm the only one who gave up and still okay/fine with the fact that "i am going to die without knowing what it feels like to be in a relationship" ? (i am almost the same age as the OP).

i am not whiny about it because i feel like it's already a part of who i am to be alone.

i really got used to that and I NEVER even try. i mean i never talk or hit on girls, not even online.

it's much harder if one has high levels of testosterone.

I had a repressed memory of my father come up. When I was about 22 or so, I was at his house and a girl my age showed up without my father saying a word. She immediately sat on the couch with him as well as put her arm around him. I left because it was extremely upsetting not just because I was struggling to even ask a girl out but my father was in his 50's, had gone through two marriages, and was already involved with someone at the time this girl showed up. Even on his third marriage, he still has mistresses. This is also someone who not only discouraged me from dating but shamed me for developing sexual interests despite being a sleaze bag.

I've had so many failures in my past but is it still possible to be successful today? How can I catch up? My therapist thinks I've fallen behind but I can catch up but how can I do that?

I missed the starting gun, and before I was aware, the racetrack had been paved over into a parking lot.

I feel like metal spikes stabbed my feet into the ground and I am seeing everyone else racing away into the horizon while I struggle to move but I can't.

tell it, bro

I suffer from neuropathy in my feet so I really do have pains in them. It sometimes feels like fire ants are biting my feet and there is no treatment for it.

I really hope I won't have to make a '30 is closing in' thread.

do you have diabetes?

I am pre-diabetic leaning towards type II. I am overweight (243 lbs at 5'11) so that's part of the problem. I also feel like that is partly why girls my age hate me.