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Having trouble getting past the first date.

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Cabal82
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30 Dec 2017, 5:47 pm

hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
If you’re bitter about women, why are you trying to date?
Because I don't want to be alone the rest of my life! I would like a friend and Lover! But apparently that's to much to ask for.


Taking a break from dating does not equate to being alone forever. That is irrational.
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Dec 2017, 5:48 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
So basically with all the advice I'm getting. I should either pretend to be something I'm not, or just give up? Lol Really helpful! All I'm asking is for someone to hold judgment until they really get to know me. Of course women don't understand this concept. I would give a lady a chance that lasted more than one date, or 10 min. I am who I am. I shouldn't have to put on a show for someone to like me. For aspie women, you don't have to initiate anything, and you're a man's wet dream. I have to deal with women who think I'm supposed to be some highly social, emotional being. But since I have a Aspergers, that is never gonna happen. But I can be a honest, loyal trustworthy friend. But apparently since I'm too f*****g weird, that isn't going to happen.


Yes it's really easy being an Aspie female, we just fall on our back when we sight a male and stick our legs in the air and hey presto happy ever after.
Why is there no fu*king sarcasm emoji.


:lol: Didn't you know that all you need in life is to be able to get someone to f**k you, then all your problems are solved? That's why autistic women have it so easy.

Be prepared to hear that a lot on this forum, from a lot of ignorant dudes.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Dec 2017, 5:49 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
If you’re bitter about women, why are you trying to date?
Because I don't want to be alone the rest of my life! I would like a friend and Lover! But apparently that's to much to ask for.


Taking a break from dating does not equate to being alone forever. That is irrational.
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


The reason autistic women don't talk about our dating struggles a lot on this forum is because of the way guys like you attack us when we do. Your attitude is the problem, it puts women off you.



Cabal82
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30 Dec 2017, 6:00 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
If you’re bitter about women, why are you trying to date?
Because I don't want to be alone the rest of my life! I would like a friend and Lover! But apparently that's to much to ask for.


Taking a break from dating does not equate to being alone forever. That is irrational.
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


The reason autistic women don't talk about our dating struggles a lot on this forum is because of the way guys like you attack us when we do. Your attitude is the problem, it puts women off you.
Maybe its from years of being treated like s**t by women, and not given a chance, because we are different. But ya'll will defend these women, even though you know the struggle. That makes no sense to me. And I'm somehow ignorant or have an attitude if I don't agree with you. I would defend you if a guy wouldn't give you a chance because of being different. If I'm so wrong, tell me how to approach a date without a woman thinking I'm insane, weird, sociopathic, or just odd. No one has given me any examples of how to make a women feel comfortable with me, other than being fake. I am being myself on these dates, I'm not getting mad, I'm being a gentleman, i'm trying to engage them in conversation.



hobojungle
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30 Dec 2017, 6:01 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.



Cabal82
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30 Dec 2017, 6:02 pm

hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!



hobojungle
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30 Dec 2017, 6:11 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!


I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Dec 2017, 6:12 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
If you’re bitter about women, why are you trying to date?
Because I don't want to be alone the rest of my life! I would like a friend and Lover! But apparently that's to much to ask for.


Taking a break from dating does not equate to being alone forever. That is irrational.
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


The reason autistic women don't talk about our dating struggles a lot on this forum is because of the way guys like you attack us when we do. Your attitude is the problem, it puts women off you.
Maybe its from years of being treated like s**t by women, and not given a chance, because we are different. But ya'll will defend these women, even though you know the struggle. That makes no sense to me. And I'm somehow ignorant or have an attitude if I don't agree with you. I would defend you if a guy wouldn't give you a chance because of being different. If I'm so wrong, tell me how to approach a date without a woman thinking I'm insane, weird, sociopathic, or just odd. No one has given me any examples of how to make a women feel comfortable with me, other than being fake. I am being myself on these dates, I'm not getting mad, I'm being a gentleman, i'm trying to engage them in conversation.


If I knew how to make people not be uncomfortable around autistic people, I wouldn't be autistic. Maybe you just have to get used to people being uncomfortable with your weirdness. That's what most of us have had to accept, because we can't change being autistic either and we can't force people to be comfortable with our autism either, which is why most of us struggle socially. All I know is that blaming women and being bitter is a red flag that will only push more women away and make it harder to find that one person that might be able to accept your autism.



Cabal82
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30 Dec 2017, 6:14 pm

hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!


I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:
Because women are judgmental b*****s! You prove my point! Thanks. Because you haven't offered any reasonable advise, except to dump on me to make yourself feel better! I've ask several times for advise, and all I get back from you is BS!



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Dec 2017, 6:14 pm

hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!


I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:


So many people here seem incapable of sorting out the difference between being autistic and having a bad attitude that pushes people away. All of us struggle socially but not all of us blame the other gender for that--the ones who do blame the other gender and get bitter and angry are the ones who struggle the most with dating and yet don't seem to see the connection as to why that is.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Dec 2017, 6:16 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!



I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:
Because women are judgmental b*****s! You prove my point! Thanks. Because you haven't offered any reasonable advise, except to dump on me to make yourself feel better! I've ask several times for advise, and all I get back from you is BS!


Personally insulting and slurring women isn't going to make them want to help you. It's also against the rules of this site and will get you banned if you persist.



hobojungle
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30 Dec 2017, 6:22 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!


I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:
Because women are judgmental b*****s! You prove my point! Thanks. Because you haven't offered any reasonable advise, except to dump on me to make yourself feel better! I've ask several times for advise, and all I get back from you is BS!


I did offer you advice. You becoming hysterical doesn’t change that fact. Perhaps working on emotional regulation would be of benefit to you and future partner(s)?



Cabal82
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30 Dec 2017, 6:27 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!



I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:
Because women are judgmental b*****s! You prove my point! Thanks. Because you haven't offered any reasonable advise, except to dump on me to make yourself feel better! I've ask several times for advise, and all I get back from you is BS!


Personally insulting and slurring women isn't going to make them want to help you. It's also against the rules of this site and will get you banned if you persist.
Blah, blah, blah, blah! I asked for advise, but all I'm getting is ridicule, and disdain! Really appreciated it!



kraftiekortie
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30 Dec 2017, 6:49 pm

I hope you don't talk about this stuff when you're on a date.

Gender politics is almost taboo as a subject talked about on a date.

Just talk about more neutral things at first----like family.

What do you like to talk about? Talk to you date the same as you would talk to a friend. Women do appreciate it when you show intentions of friendship. If you talk to women like they're "women," they might get the wrong idea, and think you want to get in their pants right away.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Dec 2017, 7:08 pm

Cabal82 wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!



I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:
Because women are judgmental b*****s! You prove my point! Thanks. Because you haven't offered any reasonable advise, except to dump on me to make yourself feel better! I've ask several times for advise, and all I get back from you is BS!


Personally insulting and slurring women isn't going to make them want to help you. It's also against the rules of this site and will get you banned if you persist.
Blah, blah, blah, blah! I asked for advise, but all I'm getting is ridicule, and disdain! Really appreciated it!


You have gotten advice, but you've ignored it to personally criticize the women responding to you instead. I wonder if you have a tendency to not actually listen to the women you're on dates with like you're not listening to the women talking to you here, and they pick up on that (as we tend to notice when people aren't listening to what we say.) There are lots of indications in your communications here of why you might struggle to get past the first meeting with women if this is how you talk to them when you get frustrated and struggle to regulate your feelings.

Have you ever considered anger management?



Cabal82
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30 Dec 2017, 7:42 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
Cabal82 wrote:
I took a 2 year absence from dating! Came back recently, still the same s**t! Like with most women, its always the mans fault for anything. Ya'll are never wrong. But what most are suggesting is being completely not myself. If these women would be honest, and tell me what I'm doing wrong, I might be able to reevaluate my approach. I didn't say it was easy for women aspies, but it's definitely harder for males, based on that women in general expect men to initiate all contact, and advances. I see most dating problems are from male aspies. But, somehow I'm supposed to change everything I'm doing to make sure the woman likes me, while they don't have to do s**t!


Maybe two years wasn’t long enough.
You're so much help! Thank you! Now shut the f**k up!! I asked for help, but all I'm getting, all from WOMEN is horse s**t! Ya'll all think its your prerogative to judge us, but we cant do the same. More feminist BS!



I wonder if we’ll ever figure out why you can’t get a second date :?:
Because women are judgmental b*****s! You prove my point! Thanks. Because you haven't offered any reasonable advise, except to dump on me to make yourself feel better! I've ask several times for advise, and all I get back from you is BS!


Personally insulting and slurring women isn't going to make them want to help you. It's also against the rules of this site and will get you banned if you persist.
Blah, blah, blah, blah! I asked for advise, but all I'm getting is ridicule, and disdain! Really appreciated it!


You have gotten advice, but you've ignored it to personally criticize the women responding to you instead. I wonder if you have a tendency to not actually listen to the women you're on dates with like you're not listening to the women talking to you here, and they pick up on that (as we tend to notice when people aren't listening to what we say.) There are lots of indications in your communications here of why you might struggle to get past the first meeting with women if this is how you talk to them when you get frustrated and struggle to regulate your feelings.

Have you ever considered anger management?
I'm beyond frustrated, and I'm sorry for taking it out on the women on here! On dates I don't talk gender politics, I thought I was being a gentleman, and talking about normal things. It must be something to do with either eye contact or some sort of quirk they tend to not like. I can never seem to find out, even when I ask. I tend to interrupt people, not on purpose, but when a thought pops into my head. That could be a reason. But when you're told that you are odd, or something seems off with you. It does make me angry. Because I see it as I'm just being myself. I'm sorry for venting my anger. I do have anger issues. And I've struggled with them for a long time.