How can I accept turning 30 and still being single?

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*shrug* Same way as everyone else who turns 30 and is single?

I'm 35 and have been single my entire life. Meh, it is what it is. I have plenty of other things going for me in life so it's really not that big of deal if I stay single forever.

So, maybe that's the key. Have other things going on in your life. Work, education, friends, family, sex life, social life, hobbies whatever - there are plenty of things one can have going for them in life that make it well worth living that don't involve being in a relationship.

There you go. Start with that. Everyone has to start somewhere.

It's not easy to make changes but it can be done. The hardest thing is making the first step and then sticking with it. You won't be able to change it overnight and that really is the hard part at the beginning. It can take weeks or even months to see a real change but the important thing is to NOT GIVE UP and don't quit.

Let us know how the appt goes and what may be prescribed for you.

Work has been dull and thankless. I've grinded out at my job for nearly as long as I've been depressed and I've never been offered a promotion or given a substantial raise.

I'm a college dropout because all I can realistically afford (And even then it makes me broke) is the local ghetto college and it's severely lacking in many areas.

My friendship circle has shrunk considerably either due to those friends finding a life path that can't include me in it or they get sick of me. My attempts to make new friends have been unproductive despite my best efforts.

My family is too caught up in their own affairs and drama to help me with my struggles.

Unless you are a redneck, hip hopper, or a general bad boy, sex won't be in the cards in this culture. I once tried a "fling site" out of desperation but no one wanted to hook up with me.

I am the odd man out when it comes to hobbies in my area. I don't like football, I don't fanboy over guns, I don't see cars as anything but transportation, I am not amused by Family Guy or South Park, I can't stand country or hip hop music, and I don't drink or smoke.

I've bolded the one statement that I take the most issue with here and the one that is affecting you the most, from what I gather.

You're almost 30. You're an adult. Your family is not responsible for you and has no obligation to coddle you. So stop that.

You quit college because you chose to and you choose not to interact with others because they are "redneck, hip hopper, or general bad boy." Frankly you come across as judgmental, and given that the central Texas region (Killeen-Temple-Fort Hood) is home to almost half a million people, it's simply not possible that EVERYONE is a redneck, hip hopper, etc., and it's definitely not possible that you have met EVERYONE.

You spend too much time choosing to focus on things that you hate. But what do you LIKE? If you have hobbies you LIKE, you focus on that. You're not always going to have someone to do things with you. You do things you like because it's what YOU enjoy. That's what makes you an interesting person.

Mostly you need to take responsibility for yourself and your actions and stop with the blame shifting. You're only hurting yourself in the end.

What I like usually isn't well received by the people in my area. I enjoy a lot of music that was popular in the 90's but is relatively obscure today and most people in my area tend to not care about music unless it's pop country or rap. I've actually been called a "freak" or "goth" or "Satanic" for liking heavy metal. Some girls at school even told me to stop listening to it but it was ok for them to listen to their favorite rappers or country singers. The male rednecks and hip hoppers also told me to stop and threatened me with physical harm if I didn't so that's partly why I have a low opinion of those demographics.

I enjoy reading science fiction novels but I often get told "Science fiction? Ewww!! !" if someone asks me what I read. I also read Marvel comics (mostly 90's ones) and manga but very few people are familiar with those mediums. I like anime and video games as well. Unfortunately, anime is generally frowned upon and video games are either "evil" or only acceptable to play if they are FPS games. When I keep hearing negative statements about the things I enjoy, it discourages me from making new friends because either I'll get laughed off or get told "Oh, ok." and whoever I talk to walks away.

There are a half million people "in your area." Who cares if a few you happened to meet didn't like what you like?

You said "Some girls at school..." What school? College? High school? Either way, so what?

Who specifically tells you "science fiction - eww?" And who thinks that video games are evil? Who specifically? Where specifically did you hear that?

I'm sorry, I am beginning to think you are imagining things or you're remembering comments that have been made to you from your past and you're replaying them over and over in your head. I totally realize that there are more conservative parts of the country, but you don't live out in the middle of absolutely nowhere - you have the Texas A&M College of Medicine and the Texas Bioscience Institute there - there are some smart people near you!

Either way you do need to speak to your doctor about possibly getting on some sort of antidepressant medication. You need to break yourself out of this rut you're in.

A lot of people know what manga is, and lots of people like anime and video games and there are lots of people who like sci-fi and fantasy for that matter. I mean how often exactly do you get told negative things about things you enjoy? And why does their opinion on it matter so much? Also, why do you keep associating with people who put you down if you are...I mean I doubt random people just go out of their way to put your interests down whenever you go out. I mean hell sometimes I've wished I was really into anime because it seems like there is a huge community for it, cos-play events and such and various smaller events.

Also how often do you talk to people to have them walk away, what are you usually talking about? Maybe sometimes they feel you are talking more at them than to them, that is a common problem autistic people can have. Also some people are just rude, jerks. I know it has helped me to reflect on negative social interactions and if there are things I could have done differently. Also people like family members and my boyfriend have mentioned some things and sometimes the self reflection or someone I'm close to criticizing can be painful. Like for instance its not the most pleasant to hear 'sometimes you kind of talk over people and go on about things too long' but if its bothersome enough for someone to mention...then I know its something I should try to work on.

But yeah it would probably be a good idea to talk to the psychiatrist, if your therapist thought you might benefit from medication to help the obsessive thoughts...then definitely tell them that.

I've been pointing that out to you in your threads for months. That's why I've recommended this book to you several times. It really is worth reading and learning from. https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New ... op?ie=UTF8

My mother, my grandmother, my bitter coworkers, some library patrons who ask me if I've read the latest James Patterson/Janet Evanovich and I tell them what I read instead, macho jerks who harass me if they see me with a book, a social worker, and the hyper religious people my parents associate with as well as try to proselytize to me.

I went to a religious private school and the teachers tried to teach us the evils of video games among other things. My stepfather also thinks video games are the reason for school shootings and thinks the Left is out to steal his guns.
I occasionally have a parent telling me they think video games are bad and the people my parents associate with generally share the same outlooks.
There are people who like video games in my area but they tend to only like "bro games" and think you are a "nerd" or "virgin" if you play games like Final Fantasy or even Street Fighter! I even had someone in the support group I've been a part of tell me I wasn't a "man" for playing games like Disgaea, Mega Man X, and Guilty Gear despite how over the top those games are.



My father and grandfather are A&M graduates but they are not smart at all. My father has a following of mistresses and keeps wondering why they get pissed when they find out he's flirting around. My grandfather thinks heavy metal is "devil's music" and allowed a caretaker to exploit him for his money as well as sexually.

Dude - seriously, you're almost 30 years old. School was a long time ago. You have to grow up and let it go.

And you need to spend less time with the family. The family is not the entire world. Certainly not the entirety of the central Texas region.

I have a feeling you must be misreading people. I really doubt that a social worker told you you were a nerd (or whatever was actually said) for reading science fiction or that your coworkers are bitter because you play video games. I'm sorry I'm having a very hard time believing all of this.

I get told negative things about the things I enjoy quite often, usually most days of the week. My mother is constantly saying "I wish you'd stop buying Japanese books (What she calls manga)!", my stepfather thinks video games are responsible for school shootings (He's a Vietnam veteran but he hates marijuana), people I check out items to at the library will ask me questions and depending on my answer will either say "I don't know about that." or "I don't like that stuff.", and the people my mother and stepfather associate with generally share their views. It's not so much I want to associate them but that my family associates with those people and it's hard to get away from them.

I generally try whenever it seems convenient but sometimes the conversation won't even go far or even start at all. I've even had people give me "f**k off" signals the moment I try interacting with them. I'll try to talk about maybe something that sounds interesting, something that is happening, or speak if they ask me a question. I try to ask others questions but even then they either give languid responses or just go "Yeah." and look uninterested.

Just out of my curiosity are women who play video games including "bro games" considered unladylike and not girlfriend material where you live? When I lived in the South, I was the only female I knew who played Final Fantasy and Tekken. Then again, I'm not a "Southern Belle" or ladylike for that matter. I live in New Hampshire now and finally know other women who enjoy video games.

Last edited by xxZeromancerlovexx on 24 Mar 2018, 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's not possible for everyone. I was severely bullied in school and I'm less than three months away from being 25. I'm still pretty torn up about what happened to me in 8th grade.

Marknis has gone through a lot and some of it is similar to what I have been through. It is very hard to get over stuff like this and I know this from personal experience.

I wasn't just beaten up by bullies but sexually harassed by them as well. They would put their hands up my shirt and pinch my nipples, grab my crotch, one shoved my face up his ass and farted, and another pulled me to the ground in front of some girls and dry humped me. I was told college was going to be better but it wasn't.

I didn't say she called me anything. She just said "Science fiction" in a mocking tone. I wasn't saying my coworkers were bitter towards me for playing video games, I was just saying they don't like them. They are bitter towards me because they are kranky and irritable people.

Last edited by Marknis on 24 Mar 2018, 5:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I know some guys who get mad when girls would play video games and tell them stuff like "Stick to The Sims, Candy Crush, and Second Life and stay the f**k out of our s**t!" or something stupid like that.

That's very unfortunate. I play The Sims sometimes but I'm not very good at it lol. I'm better at Street Fighter and Heroes of Might and Magic.

Heck...one time I brought my old laptop to play Heroes of Might and Magic 3 and had to wait until night to play it because I'm a devout Inferno Faction girl. People would think I'm a devil worshiper.