What’s the likelihood?

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That's it, you got it, he is happier without you in HIS life (I much like your slip of tongue)

Then I am pleased he is happy . . .. . .. . .. but remember only a few weeks ago when he said I was suffocating him, I suggested he would be happier without me around, and he insisted that wasn’t the case, and he took 50% of responsibility for the breakdowns in communication . . . ..

So it may be he just wants time, or it may be that in those few weeks he has changed his mind . . .. . Time will tell

And also I will may discover I am happier without the complications of communications

We shall see

Well, at least he will breathe again, for some days at least, hopefully some weeks, I am happy for him as well

Ha . . .. . Yes a lucky man, . . .. . .. but of course he has choices, and I guess therefore I must offer something . . . . .and of course it will be his decision if he decides to re enter this hideous tortuous friendship

Well, you said you were suffocating him (at least this is how he feels it)

So I guess he made a good choice.

I don't think you easily buy an aspie , no use offering him things, that's my advice for you

Why do you think I want to buy him

Yes he said suffocating,. . .. he also said he wanted to continue the friendship

I find him difficult in many ways

I’m not sure why you seem so hostile towards me. . . .. . We had 3yrs of good friendship, many fun times, lots of laughing, lots of chatting, lots of shared interests . . .. .. .

I am not bitter . . .. . I am sad we didn’t make it work. . .. . . . .but I’m moving on. I Am just trying to understand before moving on.

It's an intense experience for an Aspie person to have a friend who is "into" him/her. It's sort of like "sensory overload."

Aspie people like personal autonomy very much.

I don't even know what is going on with mine. He won't say anything, not even that he feels smothered. I am starting to understand, barely. The sensory overload thing that Kraftie mentioned makes a lot of sense though. I find it so sad though. I am wondering if it is possible, then, for an aspie to ever be close to someone? I'm guessing no, but that they don't want that anyways, so they don't feel they are missing out? I don't know if that would be accurate or not.

I can't help but to wonder, though, new brainstorm forming.....rather than approaching my aspie friend again with a "please help me to understand you" approach....perhaps I should contact him and ask him to partner up with me on some geeky adventure project. I have one in mind. He'd love it. Just don't know if he'd love it with me.

Also, Kraftie, it makes sense what you said about sensory overload. It is still hard to grasp how that actually feels, though, since for NTs, having someone be "into you" is flattering, and even special if you are also into that person. And if they prefer so much isolation, is it fair to say that many aspies just do not want to be close to people, that they don't want close friends? Not generalizing, note I said many, not all. But this seems to be a common theme that I keep reading about, so it seems many is an appropriate word here, perhaps?

I feel I have a difficult time getting close to people.

It's partially because of my independent nature----but partially because I find the symbiotic sort of relationship to be mind-bogglingly intense.

I do feel suffocated when somebody wants to be around me "24-7." I find it suffocating when a person wants to know where I am at all times. It just bothers me. It's too intense.

I'm not going to attack you in this post, so please keep your mind open to what I am about to say. This comment you make here, the assumption that because he no longer wants a relationship with you that all aspies must not want to be close to anyone, is why you have problems with autistic people and with people on this forum. I have witnessed many people comment to you and tell you about the important people in our lives and how yes many of us can have close relationships with people and do have friends and loved ones. Yet here you are, either pretending you never had those conversations or indicating that you don't actually take in any information when autistic people are talking to you. I submit to you that you are incapable of understanding your "friend" because you are incapable of thinking of autistic people as individual human beings. You are either intentionally ignoring all incoming information when it's coming from autistic people about their thoughts and motivations in favour of your own assumptions about our thoughts and motivations.

You are completely rigid in your thinking about autistic people, so desperately clinging to these wrong ideas about us that it prevents you from actually learning anything about us when we try to explain things from our side. I hope you can see this is not an attack but rather an attempt to explain why your behaviour here (and perhaps your behaviour with your autistic "friend") is causing you these problems.

I really think you should leave him alone, I don't think you are capable of being flexible enough psychologically speaking to have a relationship with an autistic person that is healthy for the autistic person. You don't listen to us.

Interesting. For me, the more intense, the better it feels. I think this is because the more intense the feelings, the closer you feel to the person, and the closer you feel, the more security you have in knowing someone is there for you, cares for you, and will never let you down. Me? or all NTs? don't know. But seems like that kind of reciprocation is just not feasible or even desirable from an aspie perspective. As an NT, I don't just want to be loved by someone, but it is just as important, if not more, TO LOVE someone, and that includes expressing that. But seems that just even expressing the caring of a budding close friendship freaked out my friend, let alone anything that might have been able to grow romantic in nature. Good grief. He's still amazing to me. Irony: if I didn't care so much for him, he would not feel that I was too intense, in which case, he'd probably like me better. It's certainly an inverse relationship....they less I might have cared for him, the more he'd probably care for me, in his own way.....the more I cared for him, the more he wanted to avoid me. You can't seem to win at this. There does not seem to be happy medium place anywhere.

Just stop.

Yes, please stop making misinformed assumptions about autistic people. Stop being incapable of seeing us as individual human beings and portraying us a emotionless robots who don't desire human contact. Just stop that.

I don't like to be "intense" in anything.

If I feel the intensity of a person too much, I feel like I just want to watch TV or something.

When I make love with a person, I like to cuddle with my lover. But I also like to get back "into the earth" so to speak. At these times, I don't like talking about "relationships." I'd rather cook her something, or just lie there and watch TV.

I had a lover who didn't mind it when I would watch football after we made love. She called it "ballfoot." She would kid around about it. But she accepted it because it made me happy.

I didn't ignore her at these times, by the way. We would talk and everything. But she wouldn't make demands about how I should "respond" to her. She just let me be myself.

Egocentric people want to be the center of attention
They don't listen, they want others to listen and approve
Hence, they are very much attracted by lonely people looking for friends because they see the opportunity of being the center of their world.

It is hard for egocentric people to be rejected. It is a feeling close to death, mentally speaking. Hence, it is impossible for them to accept