Too dangerous too be left with women!

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And if he does do that, he should take into consideration all of the criticism he's gotten from people at this place in order to try to do better at the next.

But people are creatures of habit and they go where they're familiar with with the people they're familiar with.. even if they catch a lot of flack.

Prime example, one of the main dj's at a club I used to bartend at was hopelessly Aspie. I know he's on disability so must have a diagnosis of something, but I'm not sure if he has a diagnosis of ASD or not - or if he's even self aware he's on the spectrum. I never asked him, nor talked about myself. (plus I didn't know my own diagnosis when I worked there and have rarely seen him since.) Anyways, he's what I'd call.. a "loveable loser." A lot of people give him a lot of crap and make jokes at his expense because he's one of the biggest dorks EVER, but at the same time he's very nice, friendly, and people certainly don't hate him.. and it was a place where he felt he fit in, and to a degree he did. So, even though he caught a lot of crap from people there, he also got a lot of love in terms of social interaction and feeling like he had a purpose spinning music for the crowd and all that. If you focused only on the negative parts, you'd recommend he not go there.. but the good he got out of going outweighed the bad.. and even though he caught a lot of crap for being a dork, it was a place where he Could be a dork and no other bar would have given him a dj job and the regulars at other bars wouldn't have been so tolerant of his weirdoness.

So, I can understand full well why Jamesy may be reluctant to change locals. If he stays at this one, the best thing he could do is simply try to do & be better in every way.

Last edited by goldfish21 on 12 Apr 2018, 1:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To tell somebody that he's a pervert-----when he's probably not one---is not helpful

That's what the guy was telling Jamesy. That he's a dangerous man. Do you think that's helpful---especially if Jamesy is merely awkward and not dangerous?

Women shouldn't be left alone with male perverts. Or males who are interested in harming them in some way. Awkward men almost always don't fit that description.

What would be helpful is if this guy makes suggestions, directly, pertaining to how Jamesy carries himself---and is realistic about it, not insulting about it.

I have suspicions, based on what he's written----that Jamesy is awkward, and that he is somewhat provocative at times, and gets himself into trouble for stupid reasons---but that he is not dangerous.

Truly, though, without actually knowing the guy, I can't really CONCLUDE anything.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 12 Apr 2018, 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I suppose I don't see the value in 'people with mental health issues are too dangerous to be left with women' that's just a stigmatizing comment towards people dealing with mental health issues.

^^^That's exactly what this is. There is no other interpretation, I find.

Jamesy has to try to find classier places to hang out, in my opinion.

Difference of opinion, I suppose.

I think there's value in even critical feedback like he received. Chances are the guy does view Jamesy as awkward, and that might be perceived as a threat to women - actually by women. So, Jamesy could use this feedback to try to improve himself and his behaviours so that others don't think of him this way.

Yep. Difference of opinion. The guy was a jerk, pure and simple.

Most women don't view "awkward" guys as being dangerous. Most women view "awkward" guys as "awkward." Which has many implications----but "dangerous" isn't one of them (unless a woman is irrational, in my opinion).

You don't seem like the type who's too dangerous to be left with women. I also agree about going to places other than the bar as well. Park people are much more nicer and pleasant than bar people.

I hate people like that. They really get my dander up.

He's the kind of guy who would not benefit from the bar milieu. It suits some people; it doesn't suit, probably, most people.

I don't benefit from it, either. I haven't gone into a bar in years. I just don't like the smell of them---or the people in them.

Maybe this bully at the bar shouldn't be left alone with women.

Yep...that’s called projection.

That's what I was thinking.