He seemed nice, too.

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If only Goldfish started dating this guy----we wouldn't be having this discussion! LOL

It doesn't make sense, to me, to deny one's self love because one has something like autism.

I get turned on, just like "NT's" get turned on. Honestly, I feel like I deserve satisfaction like "NT's" deserve satisfaction.

I'm not sure how many more ways I can explain this for you to understand it. Treating symptoms raises functioning levels - it doesn't eliminate autism completely.

I am not bored with casual sex.

Except I don't want to be that guy bringing someone else down, creating frustration or embarrassment.

Like I said in another thread, just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm loveless.

Uh, yeah, I get turned on, too.. and I get laid about it.

What about this guy bringing YOU down when he incessantly wants to socialize, and doesn't let you get in a word edgewise? Who won't leave you alone for a second? Who always wants to know where you are----always!! !

I've known people like that---always needing someone else to "complete" them, somehow. Or many people to complete them. There's pathology in that, too, by the way.

There's such thing as being AS and being "socially awkward"---but there is pathology in wanting to be "too social." And that's not just something jokey like "neurotypical syndrome" or something....

I don't know----I can't really criticize you for just wanting casual sex---but I tried that a few times. It just didn't work out. The reason has nothing to do with autism. It has to do with the fact that I like substance in my women.

Hmm, strange. I know I replied to kraftie’s post. There must be a glitch in the matrix.

You did reply to me.

Can’t believe I forgot tourists. Bless this international city.

Hmm

So I did send him a text on the evening of July 1st and didn’t expect to hear back from him at all because I figured he simply assumes I am crazy as f**k for the previous response I sent him as to why I don’t date anyone.

I emailed someone else that I hooked up with a few days ago. Or so I thought I emailed someone else. That’s the difficulty with anonymous email addresses. Apparently I emailed this guy to say hi.. and this afternoon he replied and said he’d hoped I might email him as he’d lost his phone and has a new one now.

Makes me wonder which messages he even received or not. 99.99% sure he received the one explaining why I’ve never dated anyone & leave that to those who are cut out for it, but maybe he never received the one I sent July 1st - depends when he lost his phone.

Hmm, sounds like he’d be interested in meeting up again sometime, though. Mmmmaybe he’s into the FWB idea - that could be fun.

While the one I started this thread about did email me back and ask for my cell number again, he hasn't replied. He was terrible at replying before, anyways. So not sure why. Maybe he has no interest. Who knows? Maybe he's just a s**t communicator and I will hear from him again.

The one I Want to meet and have been chatting with off and on for a couple weeks or so hasn't responded for 4 days or so. I know he's busy getting ready for the start of the University school year, so, that could be it. I'll leave him alone for a few days longer before I message again. I do want to meet him, but don't want to push him away. Difficult balance.. as I'm not sure if he's having second thoughts about meeting, just busy with life/work and getting ready for Uni, or if he's decided to ghost me for any number of reasons. Only time will tell.

I still chat with the one I had several dates with at the end of 2016. I chatted with him recently about how his messages to me are conflicting and contradictory. On the one hand, he says I shouldn't give up on ever having a partner, but on the other his criticism of me being an unpredictable embarrassment in public indicates I shouldn't do that. He pointed out that not everyone will feel as he does. I acknowledged that when I'm attracted to someone, their flaws don't matter, and when I'm not, they annoy or otherwise bother me. He agreed & said something like yeah, maybe someone who is attracted to me won't mind my quirks. But still, I Know the way that I am & I'm not sure I could live with myself doing that to someone.

Is it because of what this one guy said that you don’t think you should get into relationships? Because if it’s just one persons opinion I would take it with a grain of salt. Is he the one you were very interested in back in 2016? If I remember correctly it sounded like you had a relationship starting and then you disappeared from here for about a year. I had been concerned because you were an active poster and then stopped. I’m sure I’ve been an occasional embarrassment to my husband but we really stress that we are individuals too, not just a couple, and we have the right to think and do as we want/will and that shouldn’t take away from the caring.

No, but it didn't help. I've thought this before, for many years - even pre self diagnosis, and since. True that his statement is just his opinion, but I do respect & value his opinions and criticism. He has an autistic brother & is a no bs straight shooter (and all around wonderful human being.) and his assessment of me is accurate. I'd have liked, at the time, for it to have been the start of a relationship.. but obviously I was way more into him that he was into me. Not meant to be at that's fine - at least I have him as an acquaintance vs. not in my life at all. I disappeared because I had other things to do (work, parties, kiteboarding, beach, boys etc), and like anyone else here, my interest in things fluctuates - including in this forum. When I came back regularly besides responding to pm's, it was because I was basically on staycation while house sitting and spent much of my free time online when I wasn't at the beach for bonfires all winter. You two sound like you have some sort of agreement that works for both of you, and that's cool. Even if someone else tolerated my weirdness, I'd still have to be Okay with it, and at present, I am still Not.

Another factor is that relationships with people like me almost never end well.. and they almost always end. I have many real life examples to learn from, several throughout my own extended family. Countless other stories here on these forums, too. A relationship with someone like me also typically comes with a lot of major problems and I just have a reeeeeaaal hard time wanting to feel responsible for that. And for those reasons, like I told my acquaintance I mentioned, I don't feel like it's much of a choice to make to keep to myself - it feels more like an obligation.

On the bright side, I don't seem to have great difficulty attracting 18-22yo's for.. pleasurable purposes. Last night was fun.

I’ve had failed relationships too - with partners and with family. At least with the family things got sorted out! If my husband was a different kind of man I’m sure he would have left me many times over. I have a bad habit of exploding at people in public when they upset me. Or lecturing them on how they can’t really be sorry for what they did because if they really found such an action to be wrong, they’d be careful not to do it, eg pushing in front, hitting you with grocery cart .... He is a good man. I suspect he is an Aspie too. He is very orderly and disciplined.

Im glad that it was a busy life that kept you away. You had been so cheerful and posting helpful information for others just before you disappeared I was concerned that something had gone wrong in your life. I’m not sure if I was a member then, or just a reader so no thought of pm ing to see if you were ok.