Was my gf embarrassing me or am I being too sensitive?

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She came to me crying and took me back but we decided we are both going to take work on the issues and take a break, but still not see other people while taking the break. She is in another city taking her course for the next couple of weeks anyway.

She did text me and ask me though, if I can move in with her before i make the feature film since making it is taking longer than I thought. However, I am worried that if I do, that I might run out of money to make it with. Is that a legitimate concern, or am I just being kind of stupid, since I still live with my parents to save up to make a feature film?

I would wait until things stabilize for a long time before even considering moving in with her. Could this all be a manipulative ploy to get you to move in with her? People should move in together when they have a stable, happy relationship. Sorry love but she seems to be a master manipulator and you don't seem to be able to see it. Your agenda does not interest her and she almost seems as though she might be trying to sabotage it. I'm just concerned for you. Moving in with her just now is a very bad idea. Take a break from her.Tears won't kill her or you so keep your distance, finish your film and don't let her control your life. She doesn't encourage you, she belittles you in public, she messes you around, why do you allow it? Make your film, if she's not supportive she is really not a friend to trust. I call people like her "crazy makers." Bad news.

Well what sort of income do you have? If you are going to move in with her I suspect she is going to want you to pay some rent so depending on the film that will come later isn't going to cut it most likely. Also, have you done any filming stuff like short films yet to get some experience in film-making? or is this something you have no experience with but just something you feel you want to do?

I've had a made a few short film projects, and helped on other people's projects as well so far. So I guess it's a little of both, and also me wanting to really do it to try to break in.

Also, I don't think she was manipulating me to move, she just really feels that the relationship should move to a next step after a couple of years. That's not manipulating, is it?

Ah well then it sounds like you know what your doing with that, and apparently you even know other people into filming if you've helped them on their projects, so that is good. Still though could be a good idea to at least get a part time job or something to help her pay rent.

I suspect even if she is supportive of your filming projects, it would still get frustrating for her if it ends up being a situation where she is paying all the bills indefinitely or something.

It's seems reasonable to stay with your parents until your film is completed from a financial aspect. Meanwhile, see if being with her makes you feel happy, appreciated, respected and loved. I wondered about manipulation because she broke up with you, then took you back with the immediate demand to move in together, which could be interpreted as " if you don't move in with me, see? I'm gone." Also she messed you around on Valentines and however you tried to accomodate her, and you really did your best, in her eyes it was not enough and she even sabotaged your plans , brushed you off, and spent it with your friend.
It is natural that if you are totally immersed in your movie she may feel neglected.

You haven't once said how you feel about her emotionally, that is a question that you really need to ask yourself. Is it her as an individual that you want to share your bed/home/life with, or is it just the concept of having a "girlfriend"?

Moving in with someone has a profound effect on independence and autonomy, you will have to relinquish many things in order for it to work. If you are indecisive and unsure of yourself then your girlfriend could attempt to mold you into whoever she needs you to be to your own detriment. Ultimately it's your life, your decision.

Oh okay, I didn't think it was immediate demand to move in together. She took me back and then I asked what were the reasons why she wanted to break up, so she was only answering my question as to what the problem was, wasn't she? It was just an answer to my question, not a demand, I thought.

And I feel really strong about her as a gf I think, and want to try to make things work, before just throwing in the towel, but that's me.

Then that is what you must do. Perhaps we are confusing you because we do not know your girlfriend, we only have access to your impressions. Good luck!

Oh okay thanks. Do you think that maybe making a movie is kind of a foolish venture though, and maybe my gf thinks so too? I talked about it before on here, and some thought it was:

viewtopic.php?t=370872

So maybe she thinks so too?

Only you can know how important it is to you. I bet people said the same thing to Speilberg and Fellini at the start of their careers. How can a passion for creativity be foolish?

If that's what you thought, it may be true. Anyone here only knows what you tell. When you initially described the both of you breaking up and getting back together, it sounded like it may be an attempt of manipulation but it was not obvious that the moving in thing was only a reply to your question.


For how long have you been together, because in the OP you mentioned:



It is reasonable for her to want you to move in if you have been together for a long time and that's the kind of relationship she wants. However, it is less reasonable to move in if your relationship is in a rough patch and you're unsure if it will last. Of course, if you're living with your parents now and could move back to them if the relationship doesn't last, it's less complicated than for someone who gives up their own apartment to move into their partner's. In your case the main problem with moving in now is that you want to use the money for something else, if moving in wouldn't make the situation more complicated if the relationship failed.


That's a problem a lot of artists who are not yet successful as an artist have. People are not encouraging, because, frankly, most people who try don't make it and it can take a lot of time and money. If your displayed age is correct your girlfriend may be getting impatient, especially if she is not a lot younger and especially if she wants children.
There's nothing wrong with wanting the career you enjoy and working to get it. However, there's also nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that progresses at a normal pace.

Moving in with someone will not solve the problems in your relationship.
Your gf is not supportive of you in front of your friends. You don't sound overly sensitive to me.
You can't get a good night's sleep while living with her.
She does not respect your desire to make this movie which seems to me to be an ongoing and important dream for you.
Keep your girlfriend if you feel strongly about that but have a long talk about what she needs to do to make you happy and of course find out what makes her happy.
If she wants you to give up your movie, that is not ok. That's important to you. And if that is keeping you from being able to live together then that is the way it has to be for now unless she is willing to pay for everything that you can't afford while filming your movie.
She needs to be your biggest fan and not demean you, ever, especially not in front of other people.
Revisit the fact that you cannot sleep well with her. What is the solution for this? People need sleep.
Will you have your own private room?
If you give up your movie for her now will you ever get a chance again?
Don't jump from your controlling parents to a controlling girlfriend.
Hope you find this advice helpful but remember we are on the outside looking in. You are living it and the decision and consequences will affect your life and not ours.
Good luck!

Oh you mean cause of the snoring before? Yeah I thought I would have my own private room. Would this be a big deal?

You will have to ask GF that question.

Generally speaking, I would be cautious about moving in with someone when the relationship has been rocky for a while and they didn't show much inclination for making allowances/compromising.

In my experience, living with someone full time takes some adjustments on both sides and tends to bring out the already existing problems.

I don't know. If there is a private room for you, why are you sleeping on a sofa to escape her snoring?
As was said already, please ask your girlfriend if she thinks this is a big deal?
Relationships take a lot of work, of course, but you should not be the only one making allowances and accommodations for the other person. Plenty of people date for a lot more than two years before living together. What will be the benefits for YOU if you move in with her?