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I've always wondered if I had a chance...

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breaks0
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29 May 2019, 6:02 pm

cyberdad wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
[
Then why do you keep obsessing over them?


To be fair when I was in my late 20s I also spent a lot of time dwelling on women. Although I don't relate to Sly's politics I can relate to the old biological urges. We can't pretend that being an INCEL is fun.


Clarification question here: My understanding is that Incel has a specific meaning and online culture that's different from being "involuntarily celibate", but not being part of that "culture". I may be the latter, but definitely not the former from what I understand about it. Specifically I'm thinking of the online culture that leads (in the most extreme cases) to the likes of Elliot Rodger. This type is basically a hate group. So I'm asking what/whom exactly you're referring to when you use the term "Incel".



shortfatbalduglyman
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29 May 2019, 8:16 pm

Your chances could be lower than neurotypical people similar to you

Your chances are not zero

The question is, is it worth the :twisted: cost benefit analysis :evil:



cyberdad
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30 May 2019, 2:21 am

breaks0 wrote:
So I'm asking what/whom exactly you're referring to when you use the term "Incel".


Non-political (assuming you are addressing this to me?) not talking about INCEL culture/online groups

INCEL = involuntarily celibate. Most males go through periods of of INCEL, some longer periods than others....

The reality is that if you don't try and risk embarrassment you will never know. If I knew then what I know (that most human beings are selfish pricks) I would have been less concerned and probably asked hundreds more women not caring of the consequences.

After all what is the worst that can happen, they laugh at you or ignore you. Nothing lost. If anything you practice your pickup skills and eventually like fishing one will get stuck on your hook.



RetroGamer87
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30 May 2019, 4:48 am

cyberdad wrote:
The reality is that if you don't try and risk embarrassment you will never know. If I knew then what I know (that most human beings are selfish pricks) I would have been less concerned and probably asked hundreds more women not caring of the consequences.

After all what is the worst that can happen, they laugh at you or ignore you. Nothing lost. If anything you practice your pickup skills and eventually like fishing one will get stuck on your hook.

In that case perhaps it's not as involuntary as people think?


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cyberdad
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30 May 2019, 5:24 am

It's all a matter of perspective...of course you have to not go overboard or else you might get a body builder boyfriend in your face :mrgreen:



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13 Jun 2019, 8:17 am

BlossX wrote:
you have a huge chance, way bigger than NTs and I can tell you that by personal experience.

When I observed NTs relationships, I saw how fast at reacting and speaking they were so I was very worried about this (as obviously, I need my time to react especially in social situations).

What I later find out, was that I was a huge knowledge machine.

I will explain myself better, everytime this girl had a problem, I had an answer for it. This is something most of us Asperger have, it is because problems for NTs at times can be very easily to solve for us and on the opposite some very hard problems for Aspergers can be easy to solve for NTs.

The way I managed to almost get engaged in a relationship (I lated decided I couldn't be in one due to the love I have in personal freedom) was because I literally could answer to any questions that this girl had, solve her problems, be helpful in any occasion and speak about literally every topic.

I know this might sound confusing, but in my personal experience it worked very fine. I became the leader in that particular setting and people would come to me to solve their problems, so getting a girlfriend at that point became very easy. They would come to me and ask me things

And yet you still fell in love with your counselor?


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DemophobicKlingon
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24 Jun 2019, 5:33 am

Yeah, I used to not really care about relationships until I had my first one. It didn't really last that long, but I can't let go. It's hard for me to wrap my head around someone thinking you're the greatest thing since sliced bread one minute then the next dropping you and thinking that you're a disgusting specimen. Now, I can't really shake off the void of something missing in my life, even though it's been over for over a year and he's found someone new.

I do worry about finding the right person and if that person exists, if they would be interested in me even. I am scared of being the one to initiate. Or if I did find someone, if they would find another great girl who didn't struggle in my areas of shortcomings and give up on me. I am not too good with connection either, so I hope I would be good enough for someone somewhere someday but not just anyone, the right person with mutual attraction.

I've been scared of ending up with someone who I don't find attractive, or someone who isn't all that intelligent, and it being implied someone who I don't want is who I deserve. I would rather be a single crazy cat lady than end up with someone I don't want.


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cyberdad
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25 Jun 2019, 2:59 am

DemophobicKlingon wrote:
I've been scared of ending up with someone who I don't find attractive, or someone who isn't all that intelligent, and it being implied someone who I don't want is who I deserve. I would rather be a single crazy cat lady than end up with someone I don't want.

Well at least you are honest. Mona please take note...



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25 Jun 2019, 5:54 pm

DemophobicKlingon wrote:
I do worry about finding the right person and if that person exists, if they would be interested in me even. I am scared of being the one to initiate. Or if I did find someone, if they would find another great girl who didn't struggle in my areas of shortcomings and give up on me. I am not too good with connection either, so I hope I would be good enough for someone somewhere someday but not just anyone, the right person with mutual attraction.


I feel the exact same as you, DemophobicKlingon. This statement sums up my thoughts perfectly.


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28 Jun 2019, 8:26 pm

The record for the mile is 3:44, by a Moroccan, Hicham-el-Gerrouj.

The greatest distance runners used to be Finns. Now they're from Ethiopia or Kenya.

It's hard to outran small cats, too. I know, I've had many cats and they ran very fast!