Someone special is back in my life a bit.

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I don't think anyone else feels that way at all, but I have a part to play anyway. Realistically, from an NT perspective, I guess there are no commitments in my life at all.

That's a really good point although I must admit it takes ages for me to warm up to anyone. My roommate just saw us talking for a few minutes at a hippie fest we go to; she's also a software engineer & my roommate decided on the spot that she was my future wife.

I can't say I ever plan on getting married anyway. I'm more of the unconditional confidante type, pretty much only attracted to people who keep me on my toes. My old friend has been more accepting of my quirks than anyone else I know so I'm her friend for life. To be honest, I have no clear idea of how to be around new people at all.

tl;dr It would be very dishonest of me to pretend I have anything to do with dating culture, as it were. I my friend because I learned enough from her to get off my arse & write this thread. I try & show love to new people whenever possible, but I don't want to trouble them with the trust issues that my friends somehow transcended.

I'm really appreciative that people are actually replying, don't get me wrong.

When people find out how reserved I am, it's a letdown. I've seen some scary stuff & I don't want the symptoms of that disturbing anyone who cares about me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

I'm not that illiterate, thanks.

You're basically saying I can't feel love. I'm so over that s**t man. Call it what you will, I don't see this as a negative part of my life anymore.

Great! Just talk to her the same way you did at the hippie fest! You could even talk about the fest, since you were both there.

Don't worry about what your roommate thinks.

Also nobody says you have to do any less for your special girl.

Maybe having a new female friend could offer you more insight into the female psyhe.

Yeah, I suppose it's always been difficult for me to focus on more than one person at a time. I tend to spread myself thin. I'm intent on being honest with everyone about my situation but I definitely haven't found the words yet. What's even tougher is finding times & places to talk.

Yeah. She's well intentioned though very meddlesome.



I'm wondering how the possibilities could expand if we just all wind up at the same party. I don't think the women in my personal life see me as a sexual individual at all, maybe they're just starting to get a clue about this. It certainly wouldn't surprise me.

Last edited by cberg on 19 Jun 2019, 1:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's really sad to me that so many people, even guys on the spectrum, will characterize me loving someone as anything but actual love. To many you it's limerance, unrequited, misinformed, naive & in other words, not real because I'm involved.

I love someone. ***edited for tasteless meme incursions*** As stupid as feelings can look, I've reached the conclusion that emotions are not fake. I should really sleep on that.

o.o

Emotions are not fake. Emotions can be falsely displayed, interpreted, understood, perceived etc. But you feel what you feel, nothing fake about that.

For what it's worth I don't think you're just infatuated. Any things you display that could be attributed to that are just as easily explained by something else. Like that you as a person seem to think A LOT and maybe in excess in general.

If you don't want to be set up, you have that right. If you don't want to meet new people right now, that is fine too. Maybe you will in the future, but even if you don't that's okay too. Simply thank your friend for thinking of you but you don't wish to be set up.

Spreading yourself thin is never a good thing. Just stay true to what is important to you and if you are freed up at some point then you can consider adding in something new.

I agree with the idea that you shouldn't "put your eggs all in one basket" but after reading your posts for a little while inclined to think you're mostly rolling anxieties.

The more you can know and understand about yourself ought to help with not only with making you feel more at ease with trying to communicate, but also with you being able to "Help me help her help me.", as you said.

My 2 cents for your thread today

I like where this is going logically; I'm just weird. There's some reciprocity missing here that I need to restart one way or another. There are no baskets or eggs in my world, the food fight is either still happening or just recently concluded.

So now you hate me, fine.

Question: Does this special one ever initiates texting with you?

I didn't say that, but you have the wrong idea about me. It's common knowledge among my friends that I'm too awkward to text. The only person who regularly messages me at all, I've known since 2nd grade. My other friends almost completely avoid electronic communication with me, which is a relief.

I'd rather be someone's friend for life than the idiot who gives up because of social anxiety.

Whatever makes you happy.

Texting does more or less anything but make me happy. I think the instant pestering fad has made everyone more anxious & less trusting.

Bottom line, I don't think people in general should give up on each other. I know enough to be sure I shouldn't totally ignore someone close to me just because I'm not NT.