Is he only playing the Aspie?

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[quote="Anngables"

I can have this conversation with other friends.
[/quote]

What do you mean? What sort of conversation? What do you say?

Surely you don't need verbal confirmation. A friend is someone who wants to spend time and talk to you. Declaring your friendship is unusual even for NTs

I say you are obviously lusting him and he knows it, so he’s exploiting that.

In the space of 4yrs my friendship has gone from feeling like some kind of emotional affair. Not being sure of my feelings but being bombarded with attention and apparent concern for my well being constantly. . . . To someone who I hear from usually when he needs something from me. . . . . Does he actually care about me. . . .. . . .. probably in his own way. . . . . .who knows . . . ..

I think (if he is Asperger) there may have been an element of AS-NT misinterpretation. Because to those of us with AS, what we say is usually more true to ourselves than how we act.

Hello Mrs. Peel, thank you for your comment. Could you expand on that a little bit? And yes, I should tell him what not to do and hope he'll stick with it, but before I need to find out if he is acting this way because he doesn't know better or he just pretends to.

rdos: "Many Aspies are unable to have friendships that look anything like the typical friendship, and they often are mixed-gender I-wish-it-was-a-relationship instead.

IOW, it is the I-wish-it-was-a-relationship type of friendship.

Well, it resembles what his mind thinks is a friendship, but that, in reality, is courtship.[/quote]"

Hello rdos, thanks so much for your comments from Sweden. When we talked about it, he said that to me that while being very sure of his love to his girlfriend there are many different kinds of "being in love" and that friendship to him had a lot to do with love – and that the lines for him were blurred.
I can only see him in about two weeks to have a longer talk, and my mind is still veering between being totally distrustful and ascribing this to a misunderstanding. Anyway, could you tell me a bit more about what you mean by this "Many Aspies are unable to have friendships that look anything like the typical friendship, and they often are mixed-gender I-wish-it-was-a-relationship instead". Or how this looks from the inside?
Or why his mind would think "Friendship" when the signs are "Courtship"?
I can't quite wrap my mind around it...
Oh, and as for his interests: Yes he has a very deep knowledge in certain fields. He is working with people and I guess he has learned to stop himself after a certain point. So he does not go on for hours, just sometimes get a little off topic which I totally dig in its nerdiness. But when we did walk in the park towards a café it took him half an hour to explain all the birds to me (one of his fields) and when I made a a lude remark about bird A being compatible with bird B he took it literally so....

I base my claims about NDs and friendships on a large study with several 1000 NDs and NTs I did in Aspie Quiz a while ago. I still haven't written a paper about it since I'm not sure how everything should be interpreted, and if some other study needs to be done too before presenting the conclusions. Still, the results indicated that NDs (and particularly guys) are much less likely to have friends, and when they had friends, they more often were mixed-gender friendships. I also asked those that had a friend about what type of friendship it was, and when I grouped these types as "romantic" and "friendship", it turned out that more NDs had selected the romantic types.