Have you ever been attracted to unattractive individuals?

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No blame sweety, just amazement. You are absolutely right, men need to be told. I am an older woman, maybe we need to spread the word My younger lover keeps proudly sending me d...k pics, I keep telling him talk about how I make you feel instead, and..... I get more d..k pics. Can't win.

Maybe he is showing you feelings he doesn't know how to put into words?

I can't be aroused by someone I don't personally adore. Their perceived "attractiveness" has very little to do with it.

So a male erection may mean more than you affect to think it means. But I suspect you in fact know that...

Although it still strikes me as a pretty unimaginative and uninspiring subject for a photograph. Are there no buses or trains where your lover lives? Or, if desperate, maybe even sunsets or butterflies or some tedious mundane stuff like that?

In some parts of the world there are huge great big mason-built mill chimneys (except for where Fred Dibnah has taken them down). I do quite like to take pictures of those. But that is absolutely definitely not Freudian in any conceivable way whatsoever. Obviously.

Yesss, that voluptuous two-tone green, and the sultry growling of the Gardner Diesel engine and the soft sibilance of the Daimler semi-automatic gearbox ... swaying round that freaky petrol station in the middle of the Eastgate roundabout ... oooh ... hang on, just let me go and change my Y-Fronts. Sorry. Couldn't help myself. You started it! Little tart...

Actually I'm really not at all proud of my genitalia. Never was, never have been, and almost certainly never will be (they are, frankly, a declining asset, now). Always thought them a bit of a nuisance and a curse, until at the age of 23 or so I met a nymphomaniac who was ready and willing and able to show me the plus side of possessing a penis.

So I don't think all men are actually necessarily proud of their junk. I've always been a bit perplexed by mine.

And I really think this is very pertinent to the question of "attractive" vs "unattractive" individuals. Take anyone's clothes off, and you're liable to reveal a sweaty smelly hairy area between the thighs that no-one with any taste would really choose to visit. It's only if you greatly like that person as a person that you'll even be willing to consider getting any closer.

Sex is icky and smelly and undignified and generally disgusting, and I almost agree with the hard-line Christians who want to ban it altogether, except (1) as a Jew I know that Christianity has no intellectual right to even exist and (2) as a human being I know that sex is the most amazing experience available to humankind, bar none, and attractiveness is so much in the eye of the beholder that it hardly warrants recognition as "a thing".

Find someone you like, and like him or her. If you like that person, he or she is by definition attractive. End of.

Sarcasm will get you ... well, quite a long way from the Eastgate roundabout, apparently.

Tell me you don't remember the two-tone green Daimlers with the Gardner engines, and I'll tell you your memory for buses is less good than mine. And then you can tell me to tell you something we didn't both already know. And then we can probably amicably tell one another to bugger off.

Still. Attractiveness. So completely subjective, and so bizarrely in denial of how utterly revolting everybody actually turns out to be, when seen in utterly inGlorious Technicolor, the following morning. Everybody has a nice smile or nice legs or a nice arse or a nice chest or nice eyes or nice hair, or something. So there is hope for us all.

But if you don't fundamentally like that person, or feel a connection with that person, or get a buzz from that person, then the entire concept of attractiveness ceases to exist.

And you may well accuse me of being drunk, Teach51, and it is even conceivable you may be right, but I will still be saying the same thing in the morning when I'm sober, and maybe so will you, because I have a feeling you know what I mean.

Trying vaguely to stick to the original point of the OP. All individuals are unattractive. Brad Pitt. Mélanie Laurent. Bet they both smell equally bad at 6 a.m. Show me a close-up of his crotch or hers while I'm enjoying my lunch, I'll be equally ungrateful. I'll yell "YUCK" equally loudly. Which is odd, considering in general I go weak at the knees at the merest mention of Mélanie Laurent, whereas I only quite like Brad Pitt.

Very naughty and foolish of me to even raise it, alcohol is not much of an excuse. Could seriously offend someone with an irrelevant quip like that. And it was way off topic vis-a-vis the OP. Apologies to the world.

I'd had a good day after a week of unpleasant depression. Always do get a bit carried away when a better day comes along at last...

Apologies again.

Everybody has their own definition of attractiveness. But as far as choosing a romantic partner goes, I am focused almost exclusively on whether they have the same interests as me.