Rexi
Veteran
Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
22 Dec 2020, 11:11 pm
22 Dec 2020, 11:14 pm
22 Dec 2020, 11:26 pm
cyberdad wrote:
Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
I think the OP is referring to an intimate relationship as opposed to a platonic one.
The reality is that among binary genders it's impossible for males and females to maintain a friendship if one or both find the other attractive.
Over time either the friendship ends or a relationship is born.
The reality is that among binary genders it's impossible for males and females to maintain a friendship if one or both find the other attractive.
Over time either the friendship ends or a relationship is born.
Wrong.
Yeah Kraftie already said that...
Kraftie agrees with me.
To do so is a sign of a wise man.
22 Dec 2020, 11:33 pm
skiddlebugz wrote:
I wouldn’t say he’s a catfish because we met each other a few times already. Reason why I asked this is because he kissed me and doesn’t want a relationship this second so it kind of confused me.
It sounds a bit odd that he said it, but it could mean he wants to get to know you a bit better.
Perhaps he is seeing someone else, as well.
He has left it as an open relationship, so that gives you license to do the same, and I suggest you do.
Who knows, the relationship with him may strengthen into something more?
Consider it experience gathering.
22 Dec 2020, 11:36 pm
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sounds like he might "want his cake, and to eat it as well."
He is only 21, FFS.
How many 21 year olds, these days, want to settle down?
These are the years to gain experience so you know what you want when you are ready for a proper commitment.
It ain't rocket surgery.
I suggest people play the field, at this young age.
22 Dec 2020, 11:38 pm
nick007 wrote:
skiddlebugz wrote:
I wouldn’t say he’s a catfish because we met each other a few times already. Reason why I asked this is because he kissed me and doesn’t want a relationship this second so it kind of confused me.
It is common for people to kiss during or at the end.of a date or even the 1st date when one or both is not ready or wanting a relationship with the other. Sometime one of em is hopping the kiss would lead to sex & sometimes the person has no intention of taking things further than sex. Other times thou kissing could be cuz they are really into you & want a relationship. NTs can be better at reading this stuff but even they can misread things sometimes. I think having a discussion about this with him is a good idea.Yup.
Mind-reading sux big time.
22 Dec 2020, 11:41 pm
kraftiekortie wrote:
I was one of those "examples"--alas!
There was a sense of frustration---definitely.
But we still remained good friends.
There was a sense of frustration---definitely.
But we still remained good friends.
I have done it.
I find it easy.
But then, I value platonic luv above romantic luv, at my age.
22 Dec 2020, 11:42 pm
cyberdad wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I was one of those "examples"--alas!
There was a sense of frustration---definitely.
But we still remained good friends.
There was a sense of frustration---definitely.
But we still remained good friends.
Yep, so the frustration is the dissonance I am referring to. It creates mental conflict which for the male in the "friendzone" is not good for their mental health.
This is why girls should be merciful and just tell their male friends "there is no chance" so they can shift their efforts elsewhere
Not in the case of a platonic relationship.
22 Dec 2020, 11:46 pm
kraftiekortie wrote:
They should say "There is no chance---now."
There have been many situations where a man "didn't have a chance" for a while----but then, all of a sudden, the woman fell for him.
There have been many situations where a man "didn't have a chance" for a while----but then, all of a sudden, the woman fell for him.
Some men simply like being friends with women.
They like to look after them, be there if they need to talk.
Be a rock for them to lean on.
Not all men are like this, obviously.
I guess I am special.
22 Dec 2020, 11:53 pm
cyberdad wrote:
For me it never happened. I had one very attractive female friend who "friendzoned" me for 5 years. During that time she had hookups with men who didn't match up to me in looks, income or other factors. She knew I liked her. After 5 years I broached her why? and she said "I value our friendship too much".
At that point I realise I didn't value the friendship if there was going to be a "no touch rule". We parted the ways.
At that point I realise I didn't value the friendship if there was going to be a "no touch rule". We parted the ways.
Your choice.
I would have kept the friendship as well as looking elsewhere.
A rather logic approach, I would have thought.
I really like women as friends.
Is it my age, my autism, or something else?
I don't care why.
I simply enjoy being supportive!
I enjoy being protective!
Perhaps it is a consequence of being gang-stalked for 25 years.
Who gives a crap?
I don't.
Read my lips: I like women as friends!
Yes, I have been into the caffeine/chocolate. [sigh]
A bit of Xmas vice.
I should be "better" in around 12 hours.
23 Dec 2020, 12:43 am
Pepe wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
For me it never happened. I had one very attractive female friend who "friendzoned" me for 5 years. During that time she had hookups with men who didn't match up to me in looks, income or other factors. She knew I liked her. After 5 years I broached her why? and she said "I value our friendship too much".
At that point I realise I didn't value the friendship if there was going to be a "no touch rule". We parted the ways.
At that point I realise I didn't value the friendship if there was going to be a "no touch rule". We parted the ways.
Your choice.
I would have kept the friendship as well as looking elsewhere.
A rather logic approach, I would have thought.
I really like women as friends.
Is it my age, my autism, or something else?
I don't care why.
I simply enjoy being supportive!
I enjoy being protective!
Perhaps it is a consequence of being gang-stalked for 25 years.
Who gives a crap?
I don't.
Read my lips: I like women as friends!
Yes, I have been into the caffeine/chocolate. [sigh]
A bit of Xmas vice.
I should be "better" in around 12 hours.
Well it was 32 years ago now so its quite possible she is busy now looking after her grandchildren. She did ring me a year later scolding me for being immature and saying the reason she freindzoned me was because her best friend was infatuated with me and she didn't want to come between us. Ironically I also thought her best friend also friendzoned me.
I often heard well afterward (time and distance) that certain girls were interested in me and I could/have should made my move (shrug shoulders emoji)....
Rexi
Veteran
Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
23 Dec 2020, 2:03 am
Rexi
Veteran
Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
23 Dec 2020, 2:14 am
Pepe wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sounds like he might "want his cake, and to eat it as well."
He is only 21, FFS.
How many 21 year olds, these days, want to settle down?
These are the years to gain experience so you know what you want when you are ready for a proper commitment.
It ain't rocket surgery.
I suggest people play the field, at this young age.
That may not be something innocent people are ready for or desire. Like, Porn used to traumatize me.
But as long as they are ready to do it and not invest emotionally, which is harder for younger people, it could be fun. I don't believe that it would be helpful. I have a lot of experience with not only playing the fiels but it hasn't brought me any closer to making it work with different people. You have to observe your issues and theirs, and avoid making them worse, but aim to build a safe and fulfilling interaction.
They could be missing chances for serious relationships that will give them beautiful moments. They just have to be careful about what the people they want to date do, not what they say they are like. A majority can present themselves misleadingly up to the times that are to test if they can be respectful, kind and communicative.
23 Dec 2020, 7:36 am
23 Dec 2020, 5:13 pm
23 Dec 2020, 7:44 pm
