The Three Tiers Of Dating Market Value
It's just a matter of social skills more than anything. You don't even have to be 'good looking', although that helps your cause as a 'Chad'.
Some people are just blessed with a high amount of charm and charisma; so much that it can compensate for their otherwise average or below average looking appearance.
Steve Harvey is a good example. I saw a taping of Family Feud live one time and that man is naturally funny and charismatic. He has a lot of wit where he is able to think of something funny on the spot, and he's also very entertaining as well. It's a big reason why he got the role of the host of Family Feud.
I have no doubt in my mind that if Steve Harvey was unmarried and in his twenties, he would do well with pulling girls from bars or nightclubs, even if he wasn't famous, and despite his not great looking appearance. The man has huge amounts of charm, charisma, and humor.
It's just a matter of social skills more than anything. You don't even have to be 'good looking', although that helps your cause as a 'Chad'.
Some people are just blessed with a high amount of charm and charisma; so much that it can compensate for their otherwise average or below average looking appearance.
Steve Harvey is a good example. I saw a taping of Family Feud live one time and that man is naturally funny and charismatic. He has a lot of wit where he is able to think of something funny on the spot, and he's also very entertaining as well. It's a big reason why he got the role of the host of Family Feud.
I have no doubt in my mind that if Steve Harvey was unmarried and in his twenties, he would do well with pulling girls from bars or nightclubs, even if he wasn't famous, and despite his not great looking appearance. The man has huge amounts of charm, charisma, and humor.
Yeah.
Charm, charisma & humour are all assets when it comes to dating, for either biological men, or biological women, or whatever a person identifies as.
_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka
Yeah.
Charm, charisma & humour are all assets when it comes to dating, for either biological men, or biological women, or whatever a person identifies as.
Which is also a part of the reason why so many autistic people, but especially autistic men, struggle with dating so much. Since autism is an impairment in social skills, social intelligence, and oftentimes empathy and theory of mind, it would make sense that romantic success would likely suffer as well.
The reason why dating doesn't negatively impact autistic women as much is for two reasons. Women are better able to successfully mask compared to men. Also, men tend to be more forgiving of different social behaviors that women display, as long as they think the girl is attractive. Basically if a girl is hot, many of her autistic traits just may be seen as being quirky and as a result more forgivable in the realm of dating.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Yeah.
Charm, charisma & humour are all assets when it comes to dating, for either biological men, or biological women, or whatever a person identifies as.
Which is also a part of the reason why so many autistic people, but especially autistic men, struggle with dating so much. Since autism is an impairment in social skills, social intelligence, and oftentimes empathy and theory of mind, it would make sense that romantic success would likely suffer as well.
The reason why dating doesn't negatively impact autistic women as much is for two reasons. Women are better able to successfully mask compared to men. Also, men tend to be more forgiving of different social behaviors that women display, as long as they think the girl is attractive. Basically if a girl is hot, many of her autistic traits just may be seen as being quirky and as a result more forgivable in the realm of dating.
Forgiving of the different social behaviors so long as they are attractive, more seems to mean they'll have sex and ditch said autistic women after. Usually unfortunately when guys talk of tolerating 'weird' girls it means just for sex, not that they actually consider them for relationship material. Which well if you are one of these 'weird' girls who'd rather have a relationship than a fling really sucks.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
It really depends on the guy and their situation.
Personally, I would like a 'weird' Autistic girl for a relationship, but they probably don't want me in a lot of cases, so meh.
_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia
For me, if I were 'top tier', I would have had 1000 women by now & I mean that in a non-practical way.
I have probably been rejected by maybe 3 or 4 times as many women as I have slept with. So it is a numbers game really.
_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka
For me, I am definitely bottom tier. I am extremely short (1st percentile), was underweight prior to the age of 23, autistic, poor personality, and very little sexual charm. Prior to the age of 25, and especially prior to the age of 23, I was definitely in the bottom 10% of men in terms of dating/sexual market value, and my results with women definitely showed that.
Since I've gotten older, my value has gone slightly up. I worked out and got relatively fit, I gained some weight so i'm now normal size, i'm in college to get an education. My value still isn't good, but at least it's not completely horrible like it was when I was 20, 21, 22.
In other words, an ugly, poor, ignorant, street bum would be just as likely to find a mate as a gorgeous, rich, college professor with university tenure.
Also, if people were not commodities, then no one would add value to themselves with cosmetic surgery, tailored clothing, and expensive property.
In other words, an ugly, poor, ignorant, street bum would be just as likely to find a mate as a gorgeous, rich, college professor with university tenure.
Also, if people were not commodities, then no one would add value to themselves with cosmetic surgery, tailored clothing, and expensive property.
This!!. Commodify yourself. Striving to achieve more is never a bad thing. Everyone wants to be with someone for their wealth, looks, employment and education to varying degrees.
Nobody wants someone who's broke, smells like cheese and sits in a basement all day playing video games.
The women I get along with the best are the ones who commodify themselves. Nothing breaks the ice faster than knowing a woman I'm speaking to isn't a "project".
I assume by "project" you mean the kind of person who is looking for a "Doctor Higgins" to lift them out of the dustbin and make them attractive, when those "Eliza Doolittles" should be making themselves attractive before hoping to attract their "Doctor".
Reference: Wikipedia Article on Eliza Doolittle
In other words, an ugly, poor, ignorant, street bum would be just as likely to find a mate as a gorgeous, rich, college professor with university tenure.
Also, if people were not commodities, then no one would add value to themselves with cosmetic surgery, tailored clothing, and expensive property.
This!!. Commodify yourself. Striving to achieve more is never a bad thing. Everyone wants to be with someone for their wealth, looks, employment and education to varying degrees.
Nobody wants someone who's broke, smells like cheese and sits in a basement all day playing video games.
The women I get along with the best are the ones who commodify themselves. Nothing breaks the ice faster than knowing a woman I'm speaking to isn't a "project".
It really depends on who you are. If you are disabled, then commodifying yourself is always difficult & sometimes impossible.
But it is indeed generally true that commodifying yourself makes you a lot more attractive to those you are trying to attract.
_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka
Pretty much spot on and this is coming from a guy who isn't very good at doing this. I would consider immediate appearance as the most important factor followed by social skills and intelligence. I think employment and education only matters a lot for anything more than a quick hookup or one night stand however, the silver tongue and sophistication from someone long term employed who's passed high school at least compared to someone who has done neither can be immediately obvious within minutes of speaking. "Yo bruh, I f*****g love cigs like ennit" compared to "Have you seen this new law they're planning to implement next year?" can be clear as day.
Reference: Wikipedia Article on Eliza Doolittle
Yip too. I believe many women in my area aim for this all the time but fail luckily. I had an issue with a woman like this in the very recent past and she just got under my skin in the end and started parading me around a lot. Every time I met up with her she made a point of informing me what mutual friends she told about our "relationship". I think she was clearly delighted with the socioeconomic difference between us and couldn't help but make sure everyone knew. It just got irritating to deal with and I told her to stop telling everyone and anyone.
The final straw came after our first boning and after starting get careless with hiding her baggage. She told me that she was telling my aunt about our relationship even though I explicitly told her not to yet (she was obsessed with finding out about, and intruding into my family) and she said she was going to sterilize herself shortly after spending 2 months dealing with her two kids. Of all the worst possible things you could ever say during your first night in bed she ticked them all off the list.
She also started getting weirdly hot headed about money she needed. She asked me for money instead of her very well to do father which I found extremely unusual. She mentioned she got into serious gambling debt in the past and I assume her father wanted nothing to do with her finances anymore so she had to ask me (I think)


