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What might have been

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dorkseid
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21 Feb 2022, 5:22 pm

cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
Actually, origami class might be better. I'm thinking of classes you don't have to take very seriously and where you would meet other people. Nothing oriented toward a degree or a profession.

Casual classes in your interest areas might be best for finding other people with the same interest.


Every time I try something like that I still only meet married women.

And besides, even if I do meet women there's still the age gap problem.


I assume you go to parties where there are other married Libyans? surely they know single girls?


No. I grew up in Libya, but I am American and I live in the US.



dorkseid
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21 Feb 2022, 5:26 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
Actually, origami class might be better. I'm thinking of classes you don't have to take very seriously and where you would meet other people. Nothing oriented toward a degree or a profession.

Casual classes in your interest areas might be best for finding other people with the same interest.


Every time I try something like that I still only meet married women.

And besides, even if I do meet women there's still the age gap problem.


I assume you go to parties where there are other married Libyans? surely they know single girls?

I'm sure it was mentioned in the past but realistically dating a foreign woman is likely his best shot. I mentioned it recently and he ignored it entirely.


I've actually thought a lot about meeting women from Asia or South America. But I don't really know how to go about that. It would be very expensive to bring her here. And even if I could afford that, there's no guarantee we'll like each other once we meet in person. And that's not to mention all the scams.



r00tb33r
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21 Feb 2022, 5:41 pm

dorkseid wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
Actually, origami class might be better. I'm thinking of classes you don't have to take very seriously and where you would meet other people. Nothing oriented toward a degree or a profession.

Casual classes in your interest areas might be best for finding other people with the same interest.


Every time I try something like that I still only meet married women.

And besides, even if I do meet women there's still the age gap problem.


I assume you go to parties where there are other married Libyans? surely they know single girls?

I'm sure it was mentioned in the past but realistically dating a foreign woman is likely his best shot. I mentioned it recently and he ignored it entirely.


I've actually thought a lot about meeting women from Asia or South America. But I don't really know how to go about that. It would be very expensive to bring her here. And even if I could afford that, there's no guarantee we'll like each other once we meet in person. And that's not to mention all the scams.

Less thinking, more exploring. In the grand scheme of things the cost doesn't have to be huge. Moving in the states can just as easily cost you same or more.



RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2022, 5:25 am

dorkseid wrote:
So I thought that shouldn't have any sex before marriage and that instead of dating I needed to find a "proper" woman to marry.
I've noticed that some of the no-sex-before-marriage people get married very young. Perhaps that makes it more workable for them because they become sexually active not much later than other people.

dorkseid wrote:
More importantly, Muslim women are forbidden from marrying non-Muslim men.
Does that rule work both ways? Are Muslim men forbidden from marrying non-Muslim women?


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kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2022, 5:51 am

I thought you were planning to teach English in foreign lands….



dorkseid
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03 Mar 2022, 8:22 am

r00tb33r wrote:
Less thinking, more exploring. In the grand scheme of things the cost doesn't have to be huge. Moving in the states can just as easily cost you same or more.


What makes you think I can afford to move within the states?

RetroGamer87 wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
So I thought that shouldn't have any sex before marriage and that instead of dating I needed to find a "proper" woman to marry.
I've noticed that some of the no-sex-before-marriage people get married very young. Perhaps that makes it more workable for them because they become sexually active not much later than other people.


More often it just mean people rush into marriage prematurely for the wrong reasons.

dorkseid wrote:
More importantly, Muslim women are forbidden from marrying non-Muslim men.
Does that rule work both ways? Are Muslim men forbidden from marrying non-Muslim women?[/quote]

Muslim men are allowed to marry Jewish or Christian women, but not pagans.

kraftiekortie wrote:
I thought you were planning to teach English in foreign lands….


I like the idea. But it is not a realistic option.



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2022, 8:25 am

You've done it before. You can do it again.

I'm guessing the COVID thing, and maybe the Ukrainian War, might eat up opportunities.

At least there's not only negatives on your scale.....



r00tb33r
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03 Mar 2022, 6:42 pm

dorkseid wrote:
What makes you think I can afford to move within the states?

I was stating that at least half of all adult breakups and divorces in America are due to couples not being able to compromise on where to live together. For many, moving to live together means making the relationship work. Likewise, I was stating that costs for moving to live with SO around the country aren't really that much different compared to immigration costs for the SO. It shouldn't be a factor in dating preferences.

Your financial problems are beyond the scope of my answer.

There will always be a cost associated with relationships and dating, like any other aspect of life. Even if the persons involved aren't materialistic.



dorkseid
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03 Mar 2022, 11:28 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You've done it before. You can do it again.

I'm guessing the COVID thing, and maybe the Ukrainian War, might eat up opportunities.

At least there's not only negatives on your scale.....


That was different. I had my family with me.



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2022, 11:41 pm

Did you teach in Libya?



dorkseid
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04 Mar 2022, 11:21 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Did you teach in Libya?


Very briefly. I could not get them to cooperate about visas as an adult.



Mona Pereth
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09 Mar 2022, 10:53 pm

dorkseid wrote:
Those are typically the ones the that "like me as a friend".

Did you remain friends with any of these women?

If so, did you ever ask them for advice on how to have better luck with other women in the future?

Given that they actually know/knew you in-person, they might be in a better position to give you advice than any of us here on WP.


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Mona Pereth
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09 Mar 2022, 11:01 pm

dorkseid wrote:
That was different. I had my family with me.

Yes. Family.

Families -- or alternative families if we don't have our family of origin -- are an economic necessity. That's one of the reasons why we, as autistic people, need to create our own alternative extended families.


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dorkseid
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10 Mar 2022, 9:15 pm

Well, I have neither. Which is why I end up on the street every time something goes wrong.



Last edited by dorkseid on 10 Mar 2022, 9:17 pm, edited 3 times in total.

kraftiekortie
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10 Mar 2022, 9:16 pm

With your degree, the possibility of you landing in the street is less than before.



dorkseid
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10 Mar 2022, 9:18 pm

I have my friend, but she's the single mother of a child with special needs. So there's very little she can do. She let me stay with her when I was homeless, until her boyfriend threatened to kill me.