Intercourse and Intelligence (and Feminism?)

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Hey Alicorn. . . My apologies. You obviously have some issues.

Good luck with that.

Jainaday, glad there's a girl one here who gets as much dates as myself (a man). To be frank, I find that most of the people wanting my attention just aren't very interesting. But hey that's better than no interest. To be sure, most women I've ever met that described themselves as hot simply weren't as hot as they thought, but if you are that's a plus
I have had some dates ruined by my talking about things like math, even with "math" girls. My last interesting encounter I got a bj but only because I was a little bit forceful. My friend later told me that my talking about my biology research had been a big turn-off to the girl in question. I had assumed since she's a nurse with a bio. background that she might be interested in that sort of thing, but hey, they're all learning experiences I suppose.
Second, TM1 you guys are so anxious you're scared to even go on a date when you're scared! Big Hint: most NT guys will never admit it, but THEY'RE also nervous approaching women they don't know or don't know very well. Surprise, surprise kid.

seems you can have narcissism and asperger's too, but which is the main dx?

To Crazy_Ben- on the (sorta silly) "hot" question, probably I fall into the same category as "others you've met who think they are"- which is to say, pretty enough, but in no way exceptional. I made the claim because I felt/feel I could defend it in argument- and, having just received the message that it was the only thing that could possibly matter about me, I (foolishly) felt I had ample reason to do so. Of course, maybe I am, because I do tend to attract a reasonable number of guys, and many of them don't seem to want to know my brain at all.

I don't think attention from those I have no interest in is necessarily better than no attention. In theory, the more people who show interest, the better one's chances are of finding a case where one reciprocates. In practice, receiving that interest is not always fun. I don't mean to discourage any guys out there from approaching girls they like. If you are respectful and honest about what you want- which I know is hard, without scaring people away- please, please, please, go for it.

However- cases that include no actual intent to converse, groping practically before introductions, or particularly crude, explicitly sexual compliments before you know her name- please, please, please think again.

Also, just FYI, a Lot of nurses are in field for practical or humanitarian reasons and can only/barely stand the science.

I would guess that the standard on whether talking about math- or anything technical- will ruin a date, is who exactly is talking about it. If she's taking an equal part in the conversation- not just following, but introducing new topics- you're probably good.

In my experience, NT guys do admit that they're nervous. Of course they're nervous; everybody's nervous. That's part of what makes it introductory dating. Don't know if that helps in the slightest if you have serious anxiety issues, but there it is.

Lso. . . God, I can't let anything go. A bit forceful??

I once held a door for a former female friend of mine, and got a lecture from her. After that, I let every door close on her, just barely getting through myself. Hey, if she has a door fetish, who am I to interfere? We had a talk about it, and, in this day and age, a man must ask permission from any woman before helping her on anything, either large or small, or else he is a "male-chauvenist pig" who is directly and cruelly calling her helpless.

I never did another thing for her ever again, which, rather ironically, seemed to annoy her -- even though she knew she couldn't complain. Women can't have it both ways: the man bearing most of the responsibility and blame, but none of the authority, with her essentially saying, "Pay for dinner, good. Now, listen to me and do what I say." No. No. No. Someone needs a spankin'.

The feminist movement has had a lot of unfortunate fallout.

I'm all about courtesy for other human beings; I hold doors, carry packages, wait till they're inside the house before driving away, etc. for everyone.

When it comes to paying for dinner things are a little more complex. Generally I tell people I'm an old fashioned girl; whoever asks, pays- and yes, I do ask.

In a standing relationship it makes some sense for whoever earns more to pay more often- mostly because in these cases, whoever earns more is more likely to have income they want to spend on extras like dinner out, and it can be a bit of a strain on a relationship to have to tell someone you can never spend time with them doing what they want to do because you can't afford it. I've been known to cook for guys for this reason; it just starts feeling uneven after a bit.

The general tradition of the guy paying, aside from it's. . .unfortunate? roots, is somewhat reasonable to keep- at least, in an early dating context- because of the wage gap, which, for whatever reasons, does exist. When the wage gap is gone, the "who asks" rule, and adjustments for each individual relationship, should cover it.

Please don't generalize into hatred of women, or feminists, because someone- or a lot of someones- has/have been a jerk or a phycho to you. Bad behavior isn't gender specific. There's also a lot of variety in views between feminists.