Nice Guys suck...

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I also like the idea of blindly following someone else’s mandate and looking for a partner who gets their relationship advice from some columnist who makes it up on the way to work.

If you want to pay someone to be sweet, warm, mind blowing, and hot. . . well, personally, that seems pretty disgusting to me, but I have a hard time- without making everything I ever post about feminism- taking it apart. What you're getting not only isn't a real relationship- it's not even a fascsimile of a real relationship. The only give and take is financial.

However. . . if all you wanted was sex, I suppose it's the most honest way.

*shudders*

I don't think it's useful for either gender to go around bemoaning minor transgressions on the part of the other.There are big problems out there that need to be solved, and creating a negative outlook between the genders strikes me as sorta destructive.

The site seems interesting, less than totally reasonable, but not way over the top. It just seems like there should be a better way to do things. . .

I don't think there is anyone who is really truly nice. So I agree with niceguys not being totally nice. Well most people aren't genuine anyways. I try to be genuine and nice, but obviously I am not perfect in that regard. Whatever, I still come off as an a**hole to some people. I try to be polite and such, but that is aspie stuff. I do think that some nice guys get overlooked when they are actually just trying to be nice due to their upbringing (instinctual need to be polite). They seem desperate just to get laid (some are) and/or can appear to be wolves in sheep's clothing.

I am just trying to be myself now instead of thinking about being nice or being an a**hole to make women like me. It comes off as forced and unnatural anyways when I try to fake my personality. If a woman can't handle how I am, then that is too bad if I don't fit their "type". I am trying to be less judgemental, but I realize what kinds of people I can be friends with or have a relationship with. I cause my own problems with my bad decisions, ones I need to learn from obviously and apply towards future encounters. I don't put myself out there much anyways, but that is from me secluding myself and my AS.

Women usually don't like all kinds of nice guys : the nice guys and the 'nice ' guys .... women usually prefer action/unpredictable/tough guys .

I think the problem, here, is perhaps the varying definitions of nice.

Boring? Of course not. Kind? Essential.

I have sort of a problem with the word nice myself. . . it's hard not to take it as an insult.

what women forget that nice guys are also males , guys....which it also means , like any guy , want to get in your pants sooner or later . The Jerks also want that too ....but maybe just sooner .

women just hate that fact , hehe .

That's right, petit, women just hate sex. And we hate the fact that men want to have sex.

(??? where do you guys come up with this crap???)

I think as Trivers pointed out in his seminal articles on the natural selection of "emotions" that, nice guys are guys who realized they have a better chance of scoring if they act differently than the "tough" guys or "macho" guys. That's all it is. NOBODY is ever really selfless, as any biologist who's ever heard the term "reciprocal altruism" will tell you. The problem isn't even nice guys vs dolts (oh, I meant "tough guys"), it's a matter of some women being more attracted to guys that are very overtly assertive and other women being attracted more to guys that appear to be sensitive to the woman's needs. That's it. Some women like tough guys, some don't. The moron who wrote that column obviously prefers the tough guys. Sexual selection works in mysterious ways...

I think that, too, depends on definitions. . . specifically, I think I disagree with how you seem to be defining "selflessness."

. . . but this, perhaps- I dunno, perhaps not?- is a topic for another thread.

The give and take is also sexual, as well as financial. But in the "free" dating world, if most girls hate nice guys, why bother trying to date them? It's sad but true: the nice guys really do finish last. So instead of giving in to dying emotionally, I fight natural selection to the bitter end. How? I date girls that the more desirable "jerk" guys ignore, which are typically overweight girls or the not-very-attractive girls. It's both a matter of coping with being on the bottom of the natural selection hierarchy and being sympathetic; after all, those girls are coping with issues similar to mine. In the end, both people will be happy to find a relationship with a good person, and possibly even have kids of their own. How do you like that, Charles Darwin?

I'm gay so those rules are a bit different in my world.

In relation , everything related to appearances really .

Most of the natural nice guys and even the fake nice guys ...are physically unattractive , they are usually the fat , the skinny , the short , the geeky , the ugly , the physically weak ...etc --> they are people who usually lack good physical traits and they lack self-esteem and confidence as consequence .

As for the 'bad' guys or the tough guys are usually the tall , the well-built , the handsome , the sporty ....etc ---> they have better genes and so they have good confidence .

It's rare to find a nice tough-look guy at the same time .

Women prefer the second category because of the the natural selection rules .

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 13 Aug 2007, 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm a good looking guy and an athlete. Being nice is a choice I make, regardless of what it means in terms of attraction.

Excuse me? Are you discouraging the less attractive of us from being nice?

That's great, how can you fight Natural selection if shaped the very form, structure and function of your brain and body, good friend? If you're a "nice" guy and you like women that are outcasts, you're still "making the best of a bad situation" (Krebs and Davies). I don't date girls I don't find attractive. Women I find attractive are: healthy, have original tatts and/or peircings, are full-time students or trustfund girls (so they understand where I come from) and are laid-back. We can work with that or more or an unusual combination of such traits.
The fact of the matter is most guys are called "nice" because they simply are NOT assertive about their needs, wants, interests. NT girls use them as doormats, they can't date them because they'd have no constant voice going against them and their views to struggle with and overcome and change into a "better person (man)"... Instead, they can use "nice" guys to b***h to about their current boyfriend and why he's such a "bad" guy...

I wrote the site owner an email telling her I'd love to maim her with a baseball bat to make her wish I were nicer.

Edit: I was only kidding, but I wanted to make a point to her in a way that with her intelligence, she would understand.

Last edited by MikeH106 on 13 Aug 2007, 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.